one deal ruining my life

been in banking for 4 years and got used to missing family events and all, trying to attend the most important ones etc. one deal that i've been absolutely grinding on for the past YEAR (one of those hairy, painful, unsuccessful ones) just ruined an extremely important family event and i started looking back and realized that my life has been absolutely shite for the past year bc of this one deal. somehow it always end up in the middle and always prevents me from at least barely enjoying life. idk what to do, i know i am complaining and showing weakness but these 12 months have been really tough on me and seems like one more stupid call at 9PM on a saturday and i will break

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Well that isn't freakishly awesome of you! Jk.

My advice to you, find a chill investing role. There is no two ways about it, the ratio of bitch work required to slightly move the needle on IB engagements is breathtaking. I was in a group notorious for hairy/complex transactions and eventually realized it simply just is what it is and it wont ever change. Even at MD level, I don't want to be a fucking 50 year old with perfect Math SAT scores and real intelligence who marks up the same PPT slides 30 times a day like a fucking Fifth Grade teacher for a living. 

Doesn't have to be a sexy megafund. Plenty of ~20 man LMM PE shops out there that are allllll about the culture and enjoying what they do. Also, on a side note, investing MDs actually KNOW what the fuck they do. They have a real investment thesis, market view, refined way of looking at things etc. Banking MDs basically pretend to know everything about everything for a living but have 0 actual investing or operating experience. Ie, you live in a world of confusion and clusterfuckery in IB. Look into some credit/lending gigs, maybe some IR / Cap Markets PE gigs, some LMM PE gigs, some Corp Dev gigs, etc. They all run the gamut from a Comp / WLB tradeoff. 

 
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