SA at UBS vs Magicians Assistant
Coming to the end of recruiting, I have two offers I'm considering and would love advice. I'm on the Williams men's rowing team, so recruiting has been a breeze, to say the least.
My first offer is UBS in the NYC office, top/new coverage group called WWW or "Whatever We Want." Apparently, the MDs (rainmakers, I've heard) just source crazy dealflow of all kinds, and the analysts tank it. I think it would be a good learning experience, but after hearing that the dinner stipend is getting phased out, I'm not crazy about going there. Even though my fraternity brother said that UBS was pretty much GS/MS in Europe IDK.
My second offer is kind of unconventional, it would be to be the guy they cut in half during a top Vegas magic show (think Penn&Teller/Mac King/Piff), and do a rotation on another desk, I guess it's more like a green felt table, moving balls between cups. Apparently good exits to Tier 2 solo shows (Harrahs/Tuscany/Excalibur).
I've heard UBS pay is near street, and magic pay is below strip but has bonuses up to however many bills you can fit in a tophat.
Interested to know what you guys would do in my situation.
Congrats on Piff!
not even piff slander (great show and he takes photos with everyone) but P&T / Mac King are considerably higher on the league tables
Imagine people who actually work at UBS reading these threads.
Lmao nice try dude, people that were actually smart and accomplished enough to get an offer at UBS are too busy to read these threads…
Note - Too busy looking for lateral assistantship or apprenticeship opps given lack of deal flow and looking for food given lack of dinner expense budget
Source - Couple of UBS analysts pointed and laughed and called me “magical Mike” at Chipotle, but curiously walked out empty handed shoulders slunk after their corporate cards were declined
Have to use imagination because we all know they can’t read
Not exactly sure how we got to the point of comparing UBS to magicians assistant. If I was a magician’s assistant I’d be pretty offended to being compared to UBS.
UBS slander 101 right here
Think about AI risk, easy choice
UBS analysts used to get dinner after 8. Now the perk is watching an MD pull disappearing deal flow out of a hat while your dinner disappears.
At least in Vegas when they cut you in half it’s part of the act. At UBS they routinely cut you and make you disappear.
Magic also has clearer career progression.
Assistant → Sawed in half → Levitate → Solo act.
UBS progression is more mysterious.
Analyst → Associate → Associate again → Someone says “great visibility on this” → Vanish.
And honestly the cultures are pretty similar.
Both involve long hours, misdirection, and a senior guy insisting the audience clap even though nothing actually appeared.
Plus the magicians assistant role still provides dinner from the venue.
Be a magicians assistant and don’t look back.
Here is what it comes down to:
At UBS, you’re just another analyst. For their first trick they’ll cut your bonus in half, for their next trick they’ll cut your analyst class in half, and for the final act, they’ll still fail to make their naive shareholders whole. As a Swiss corporate citizen you wouldn’t even qualify to collect unemployment in the U.S. I’m pretty sure. But even if you did qualify, your frat bros at Williams taught you how to give handjobs, not take handouts.
In Vegas, you will become the Assistant. You’ll have that magic in you. The girls will come snapping at you. The crowd will cheer your name, and the dollars in your Top hat at the end of every night will buy you a double whiskey and a lap dance long after the last of the UBS company cards become microplastics in the food pantry pasta their top bucket analysts eat.
heard one of P&T's assistants exited to blue man group a few cycles a go
comp is mid but you get to throw paint at the audience
comments like these is why i still use WSO, genuinely cracking up at the desk rn lol
Third option nobody's considering: build the tool that automates what the analyst does so the MD doesn't need to hire one.
Built a comps + DCF generator that does in 15 seconds what takes a first-year 6 hours. Dynamic peer selection, LTM/NTM multiples, 6-sheet Excel, sensitivity table, reverse DCF.
At least the magician's assistant has job security. The analyst at UBS might not.
accelerate79ers — free, roast it if you want.
Honestly, you’re asking the wrong question.
The real decision isn’t UBS vs magician’s assistant, it’s learning a real skill vs being part of the trick.
If you go UBS:
If you go magic:
Curious what the interview process looked like for the magicians assistants role. Anyways, congrats on Piff!!
R1 techs typically cover basic misdirection/slight of hand (think french drop, dissapearing nose, candy behind the ear)
be careful if you express interest in a certain coverage (e.g if you say you were an amateur card mechanic you may be asked to deal from the bottom of the deck to demonstrate)
for acts like piff there is a large cultural fit element during the super day (you must like dragons) but technical heavy shows like P&T want assistants with experience developing novel trick ideas or have unusual abilities like increased flexibility, double jointedness, small stature, etc.
Vegas assistant is paradise.
College roomate did it for a comedy act think Carrot Top
Hourly + tips + whatever fell out of the prop trunk, which then could be liquidated down the street at pawn stars. Easily doubled UBS 2025 all in comp
Tough beat
Just finished a Magician Assistant Superday in Vegas. Easily the most intense recruiting process I’ve been through.
8:00 AM – Check-In
HR gave us name tags, a top hat, and a liability waiver that was so long. One kid asked if the waiver was binding if he got cut in half before signing.
8:30 AM – Behavioral Round
Pretty standard questions:
• “Why magic?”
• “Tell me about a time you delivered results in a high-pressure box.”
• “Describe a situation where your magician took credit for your trick.”
One interviewer kept emphasizing “team fit” which I later learned means fitting inside the box.
9:30 AM – Technical Round
Interviewer wheels in a saw and a deck of cards.
Questions included:
• If a magician produces 4 rabbits per minute, what’s the implied rabbit CAGR?
• Walk me through the synergies of cutting an assistant in half.
• If the rabbit escapes mid-show, how would you restructure the illusion?
One kid from Wharton tried to pivot the discussion to AI. The magician said, “Great idea,” and made him disappear.
11:30 AM – Group Case Study
Prompt: A senior magician wants to scale a disappearing elephant illusion globally.
Our team suggested a leveraged buyout of a smaller circus to build platform scale.
Another group recommended vertical integration into a zoo roll-up.
The magician’s only feedback:
“Have you considered the downside scenario where the elephant doesn’t disappear?”
Lunch with Associates
Associates were candid. Hours: 6 PM - 3 AM, sometimes later if a rabbit unionizes.
Comp is below Strip base, but the bonus pool depends on tip inflows.
One associate said the real grind starts in year two when you’re promoted to Senior Saw Target.
Final Round
Met the head magician.
He stared at me for a long time and asked one question:
“Why should we cut YOU in half instead of the other candidates?”
I said I’m hardworking, detail-oriented, and comfortable being severely leveraged.
He nodded and wrote something down.
Not sure if it was my name…
or just “saw next”
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