The 5 Types of Interns You’ll Work With
Summer’s here, and with it comes a fresh batch of interns—eager, ambitious, and mostly clueless. Some will thrive, some will suffer, and some will be completely invisible. If you’ve been in banking long enough, you’ll recognize these five intern archetypes:
1. The Overachiever (a.k.a. “This Kid Needs to Chill”)
- First one in, last one out. Wears a full suit every day, even on Fridays.
- Writes down everything—including the MD’s lunch order, just in case.
- Asks the VP for “additional work” at 11 PM, making everyone else look bad.
- Is three weeks in and already “super passionate about restructuring.”
- Will either get a return offer or burn out by Week 6 and start talking about “mental health.”
Likelihood of getting the return offer? 85%—unless they self-destruct from overexertion.
2. The Ghost (a.k.a. “Wait, Do We Have an Intern?”)
- Shows up at 9:30 AM, leaves at 5:01 PM sharp.
- Claims to be “really into networking” but never replies to emails.
- Somehow dodges all the bad staffing while you’re drowning in decks.
- “Working from home” mysteriously often.
- Associates forgot their name by Week 2.
Likelihood of getting the return offer? 5%, but will somehow land a job in corporate strategy.
3. The Tryhard Networking Bro (a.k.a. “So What’s Your Story?”)
- Cold emailed the entire senior leadership team before the internship even started.
- Asks for coffee chats…during market hours.
- Name-drops “my buddy at Evercore” at least once a day.
- Talks about “exit opps” before even finishing training.
- Tries way too hard to befriend the MD and awkwardly laughs at all their bad jokes.
Likelihood of getting the return offer? 50%—if they can stop networking long enough to actually do work.
4. The Excel Fanatic (a.k.a. “Loves Shortcuts More Than Life Itself”)
- Talks about modeling like it’s an art form.
- Sends an email titled “Thoughts on my LBO build?” at 2 AM.
- Customizes their Excel ribbon on Day 1.
- Gets irrationally angry when someone hardcodes values into a formula.
- Spends hours perfecting a model that the MD will never open.
Likelihood of getting the return offer? 90%, unless they forget how to make a slide deck.
5. The Walking HR Violation (a.k.a. “Surprised They Haven’t Been Fired Yet”)
- Drops inappropriate jokes in the team chat within the first week.
- Shows up to happy hour and gets way too comfortable.
- Spends half the day scrolling through WSO.
- Accidentally replies-all to an email with “Lmao this is dumb.”
- May or may not get pulled aside by HR before the summer ends.
Likelihood of getting the return offer? 0%, but will definitely post on WSO about how “the return rate was low this year.”
Every summer, these same five intern types make an appearance—some excel and secure offers, some quietly fade into the background, and others become office legends for all the wrong reasons. Did I miss any intern types? Let me know what you'd add to the list.
You forgot the finance nerd who can name every M&A deal from the last 10 years but can't sum a column in excel
There was this one intern at my bank who got way too drunk at a networking event and spent the whole night flirting with the 30-year-old pregnant VP.
Flirting with a pregnant lady is some next level down bad.
Hey maybe the girl just needed some attention
Found the VP
He was feeling homesick
I fucking love drunk interns
They always go wild and then are super shy and embarrassed next week at work. Happens to a lot of us, don’t worry bud, it’s just funny to see it happen to someone else now.
If he or she is chill: I’m voting Yes for return offer
At least you know they aren’t lame.
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