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August 31, 2026
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not do investment banking
Why do we need to know your group?
Congrats on CVP
Thanks!
In that case, learn how to casually mention how much you love Hilary to Effron. He'll make you MD overnight.
I forgot to mention - in case it's relevant, I also go to a top target school (think Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Stanford).
Congrats on Stanford
Have fun, spend time with friends and relatives, learn modeling as much as possible
Learn how to not come off as a complete bot
I love the anonymous bragging... you should work on your self esteem so you don't need to turn to the internet and random strangers for your sense of self worth
Thanks! I'll look into therapy - do you know what the landscape looks like for top firms in the behavioral health space? In case it's relevant, I have a top health insurance plan (think BCBS Platinum Standard/UHC Standard Platinum/Aetna Platinum) through my father's occupation (think Medicine/Law/Finance).
What high school did you go to?
Congrats on Aetna Platinum
Get laid
What outfits do you think would attract the most women? I own apparel and accessories from a few top-tier brands (think Brunello Cucinelli/Giorgio Armani/Salvatore Ferragamo/Audemars Piguet).
k
Congrats on Ferragamo!
Just have fun. Party, see your friends, find a hobby. You'll have plenty of time to work once you start, where as college is almost over. Take advantage of it
Cut down to 10-12% body fat (visible six pack) and pack on 15-20 lbs of clean muscle above that.
trenything is possible
Travelled a bit more...
You should travel - I think it depends on which one of those groups you're in. If truly top (GSTMT) you could probably go somewhere like St Barths. Otherwise I'd go just go to like Ibiza or something with the other future mid tier bankers.
Isn't everything here satire...?
Drink excessively on the occasional Sunday and weeknights. Will be difficult to do once you start full time.
Del
Travel, date, and develop some hobbies.
Underrated but spend time with your family, especially parents. Soon as you start working, you only get to see them once to twice a year, and they get so old so fast.
There’s 4 things:
Do you have an average sized dong? Think 5.75”, 6.00”, 6.25”, 6.30”? Use it!
Hot take: I wish I broke into IB earlier.
Another hot take: wish I paid more attention in my computer science class in college
Feel like with all this AI stuff going on, it's not a bad idea to get some coding experience under your belt even if you're dead set on IB
Start an AI company and invest in Bitcoin
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