Can't pass interviews
Is anyone else here also too socially inept / ugly to pass interviews? I must have had around 20 intern / grad interviews for various things in the past 1.5 years and I've only passed two phone interviews. I live on the UK where they dont care about technicals, they only test you on your social skills / normalness / halo effect.
I know about STAR and that's how I passed the two phone interviews. But a combination of ugliness / nervousness always gets me dinged when its in person.
Also my fails include all assessment centre group exercises where they give you a task and they watch you and judge your teamwork / tone of voice etc. On one occasion I was sent home (along with two other candidates) who had failed one of these group things. I couldn't tell how the assessors made their choice (both for me and another guy who was in the same group exercise as.me).
I'm male, unattractive, wear glasses, don't have a posh english accent, and am ethnic. Are these the five pillars of interview failure?
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time with interviews and feeling very frustrated. We've all been there at some point.
BUT...
I don't know the people who interviewed you but I can say with certainty that it's not because you are ugly/unattractive. It's because you are insecure and it shows. It's not just the UK, but all over the world people are going to judge you based on how confident, calm and driven you are. Not on whether you wear glasses or contacts. People are not that irrational.
So I would advice you not to blame yourself or your looks because that will never get you anywhere. Be confident in your abilities, your technical knowledge and learn how to sell it.
I was also shy and lacking confidence. Coaching helped me.
I am a bit anal retentive so I think overpreparation leads to confidence. prepare for interviews with family members, with a significant other, with a friend, colleague, anybody who'll listen (try a professor). get them to comment on body language, posture, tone, pace, inflection, eye contact, basically everything EXCEPT technicals. it sounds like you have the technicals down or they apparently don't care about those, so you need 3rd party opinions on things that can't be conveyed in an online forum.
after you get the feedback, make some changes, rehearse over and over and over again until you're blue in the face. film yourself, then watch (it will hurt, but it will help). practice in the shower, while you're taking a shit, whatever.
this next part should be obvious, but in this case, maybe not.
now that you're confident, prepared, and have the body language down, you need to make sure your appearance is top notch. keep it simple: navy suit, white shirt, red or blue tie. make sure everything fits well (don't need custom, just shouldn't have massive gaps between your neck and the collar, wrinkles on anything, etc), shine your shoes, and make sure you are well groomed (haircut, shower, shave).
most people falter in the first part about confidence because they don't want to put in the work to prepare. if you do the work (be honest with yourself), get outside feedback, and are qualified for the interview, it's only a matter of time before things go your way.
this man (Zig Ziglar) was one of the most successful salespeople/authors/motivational speakers of all time, and it's NOT because of his looks or his spectacles. it's about confidence, poise, etc.
I know how you feel. Except the ugly part, get that out of your head. You are only as ugly as you think you are perceived. You need a self confidence booster. Why are you so insecure about being "ethnic"? There is no reason for that, every ethnicity is beautiful and unique.
Male: Nothing wrong with this, you just need to work on your charm
Unattractive: Male models don't get these jobs. People with good social skills and who have genuine interest/relative intelligence do. Maybe you could benefit from some life coaching, Hitch style.
Wear glasses: Nothing wrong with this either. I think most people wear glasses nowadays, but I don't have any data to back that up. Try to find some that match your style.
English accent: Who cares about that? Even though some may not like Asian accents speaking English, it solely can't be the reason for rejection.
Ethnic: See above.
Remember that almost every job is extremely competitive. McDonalds I think has a 9% acceptance rate (I think that was in 2008/09 during the "crisis"). So don't despair, take each interview as a learning experience and do some self reflection. Try to find some mentors to do mock interviews with also. Hope this helps.
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