How fucked am I

I’m in my mid-30's and I’m afraid I might have actually fucked my career. I need some advice…some help, really. Big time. TL;DR at the end for the non-readers.

I went to a semi-target school for undergrad. Graduated and worked in MM IB in SF. After 3 years, I moved to PE at a large (non-MF) fund. After a few years in PE, I decided to go to business school (not HSW), with the goal of getting into VC.

During b-school, I had a summer internship at a solid fund (non-MF). They told me up front that there wouldn’t be an offer at the end, but that was fine. I wanted the #experience. I graduated in the spring of 2020 with COVID lockdowns in full swing. I decided to expand my job search to include going back to PE (i.e., what I did pre-MBA).

Through the summer/fall 2020, I was getting some interviews at funds (all through headhunters or cold apps). Unfortunately, I would either get ghosted or they would tell me they liked me, but that hiring was on hold until COVID cooled down. Sucks, but whatever.

A few months later, in the middle of 2021, my long-term relationship abruptly ended. Coming to terms with my breakup/life mentally fucked me up for a few months.

By the time I got my head on straight, it was the end of 2021. During 2021, I was getting occasional interviews (almost all through cold applications or headhunters), but they never ended up working out (either ended up hiring a more recent MBA, a currently working hire, or just someone with more experience). Alumni have not been helpful beyond initial networking calls, referrals (alumni or friends) have not turned into anything, and cold applications go nowhere.

Now I’m thinking maybe I should just bite the bullet and do IB again? Is IB associate is even doable at this point...? I don’t know how I could possibly convince any bankers that this was my plan all along, and that IB is/always has been my real career goal.

IF YOU'RE KEEPING SCORE: I’ve been unemployed for four years (two if you don’t count business school), and honestly, I’m pretty fucking depressed. I dread when people ask me what I’m up to and I don’t even want to catch up with my friends because I’m so embarrassed.

Also, everyone is shitting themselves about the slowing economy/layoffs/etc., so who fucking knows.  

I don’t really know what the point of posting this was, maybe to just get this off my chest. I would love to hear any advice or encouragement you might have for someone in my situation.

TL;DR: Career path has been MM IB -> PE -> B-school (non-HSW). Wanted VC or PE after b-school, which hasn’t happened. Graduated in spring of 2020. Long-term relationship ended shortly after. Still unemployed.  Now I’m considering trying for IB associate roles? But idk if that is even doable at this point. Also, everyone is shitting themselves about the economy.