Am I a Simp?

Hello,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend, she "had enough and didn't want to deal with me anymore" she said more stuff about me being a spineless bitch but too hurt to repeat it here. Our six month aniversary was coming up and I had spent all my savings on a ring for her. I kept calling her last night trying to get back with her, but her new guy answered the phone. I sobbed afterwards. I also donated a bunch of money to gamer girls on Twitch, kind of a fetish for me. I always hold open the door, and buy things for girls that I don't know but they never sleep with me. So what's my problem... am I simp? Or are they just heartless?

 

Also just cause it sounds like a troll, doesn't mean it is. Some of us go through this shit everyday. Not everyone is born a Chad, some of us have to try a little harder.

 

I was afraid this was the case. How do I change? I don't like lifting heavy things, so no going to the gym and getting buff.

 

First, quit your internship/job. Only simps are employed. Then report back to us for your next task.

 

Alright, I’m gonna take this post at face value and provide a genuine answer.

In short, you’re undervaluing yourself and overvaluing other people. You’re aggrandizing women by thinking them above you. This reflects in your behaviour or actions. You shouldn’t need to be compelled to spend money to feel worthy of being in a relationship nor should you think of your gifts as a transactional nature for sex. If that’s the case, hire a prostitute, it’s quicker and cheaper. Your self-esteem seems to have hit a low point, but seems as though you’ve had trouble thus far.

I think you’re vulnerable from a breakup and it’s natural to want to get back together for some sense of normalcy. However, some time to yourself is a good way to build on your own self-worth. I don’t think you need to lift weights, but do cardio or some light form of exercise to release the dopamine and improve your mood. There are tons of guides of light workouts for beginners that can be done from your home. Additionally, I would highly recommend two things: (1) journalize your thoughts before sleeping and (2) meditate. You should like you over analyze or over think and having been there myself, these two are lifesavers. Journalizing is a healthy outlet to release lingering thoughts and meditating helps increase focus and being more present. If you do these things for three weeks, it will form as healthy habits and you’ll see an improvement in your mood and your behaviour.

 

I'm probably the only one that doesn't know what a simp is, so apologies, but I'm betting you feel emasculated. you need a couple of things: a makeover, time, and some new ass, in that order.

for a makeover, check this thread - https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/getting-laid-the-instruction-manual. I'm a big believer in the 6 spokes of life, which I outline in this rather large post here - https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/i-might-hate-finance-and-this-mi…. essentially my belief is that you have to be the best version of yourself that you can be at any given moment. you're not going to be perfect at 22 or however young you are, but you can be the best version of yourself. goal setting in this regard has 2 goals - it distracts you from the pain you're feeling and causes you to focus on something positive; and it will also put you in a position to be more marketable to other females.

time wise, don't jump into another relationship, but get back involved in your social circles, even if it's all virtual. reconnect with old friends. DO IT.

and new ass, well that first link I posted will help there. and if you've improved your 6 spokes, you won't have to wait long to capitalize on this

godspeed kid

 

Despite this sounding like a huge meme I'll give a semi-serious answer. Yes, you're a simp. Work on yourself and the women will come. Stop crying over these bitches. If you don't wanna work out or lift you should at the very least work on your career. Become the kind of person you might wanna date/marry someday.

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
 

If ever see you in the streets, I'll rearrange your face. My girl may gone, I may be virgin and her new man may abuse me every night, but I still got pride.

 

I'm gonna try one more time. My plan is to send nudes to her, I hope once she sees my cotton ball body it'll remind her of what her new man's abs aren't giving her. 

 

It's very nice of you to let your wife have a boyfriend. Like I said, I'm going to try one more time by sending her nudes. Hopefully she sees and misses me.

 

Aut odio illum ad tenetur sapiente voluptas vel aut. Id nihil non consequuntur voluptas. Est excepturi et quisquam aut placeat.

 

Quo quia vel nihil est et sit. Asperiores blanditiis repudiandae aut suscipit. Magnam minima consequatur omnis quo voluptatem aliquam veniam. Repellat aut mollitia quas voluptates natus amet aliquid.

Nemo quasi enim maiores omnis nulla molestiae. Atque officia doloremque eveniet.

Quia in ratione laudantium rem temporibus nam. Quos minima quia animi eveniet. Ratione consectetur harum et repellat consequatur autem.

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 04 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (88) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (67) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”