Apartment Searching is Paradise

WolfofWSO

FTPinsider

You have always wanted to work in NYC, you think. After all, you just secured a full-time offer at FT Partners (most elite of all the EBs) and you want to be around the most intelligent and prestigious people in the country. In fact, you scoff at your peers who have taken offers at banks in bottom tier cities like San Francisco, LA, and Chicago. You come to also find out that some of your classmates have accepted jobs in even worse places such as Charlotte, DC, and Boston. "What idiots", you mutter, "They are committing career suicide!" 

Interestingly, one of your peers, Joe, who will be working at a no-name boutique called "Evercore" divulges that he will be making the same salary as you, but he will be based in the Houston office. This infuriates you with a white-hot rage. "How could a mere regional analyst be paid the same as a prestigious NYC banker?", you fume. No matter. You reassure yourself that his pay is an anomaly, and this bank, "Evercore", must have a seriously tough time retaining junior bankers if their pay is on par with the great FT Partners. 

Month's pass, and finally you receive your coveted signing bonus just a few weeks before you plan to start searching for a NYC apartment. The cash hits your bank account, and you feel empowered. "I'm rich. Is this what it feels like to be a FT Partners analyst?", you ponder. You decide that, yes, this is what it is all about, and yes, this is just a short preview of what your NYC life will be like. Impulsively, you decide to celebrate by buying your less fortunate peers working at no-name banks (think Centerview/Lazard/PJT) a table at your local nightclub. "Fuck it.", you think, "I'm doing these chumps a favor anyway." You blow your entire signing bonus in one night. Models and bottles, amiright? No matter. FT Partners pays above street and there will be plenty more where that came from. 

A few weeks go by, and it is finally time to start looking for that perfect NYC apartment. You quickly deduce that with your above street compensation from FT Partners, you will be able to afford a nice 1BR apartment in nearly any neighborhood you choose. You fire up your favorite website, WSO, and search for "most prestigious neighborhoods in NYC". After some brief perusing, you conclude that Tribeca, West Village, and SoHo are going to be the obvious choices on where to live. You switch over to StreetEasy and plug in your parameters. Your above street base of $140k will allow you to max out at around $3500/mo with Manhattan's 40x salary standard. "Hmmm, I should probably save a little money.", you think, and conservatively reduce your search criteria to $3250/mo max. You eagerly press "search", anticipating all the great apartments at your fingertips, but oddly your parameters return no matches. "Must be because no one has moved out yet", you decide. No matter. You conclude that you should wait a bit to search for an apartment. Surely there will be more apartments available in a few weeks. 

You wait a brief time and excitedly bring up StreetEasy again. There must be more opportunities now. You input your criteria, and inexplicably - no apartments again! You convince yourself this is a result of a severe market dislocation and that no one, not even you, a FT Partners analyst, could have anticipated it. You squirrel about your college apartment huffing and puffing at the prospect of potentially having to live in a non-prestigious neighborhood, and even worse - with roommates. "All my peers are going to bottom-tier cities", you grumble, "I can't even find a roommate now if I wanted to". Your mind contorts and reaches, searching for an idea - any idea - in only the way a FT Partners analyst can. After what seems like an eternity, you finally have it; "Of course! My favorite website!", you exclaim. Back on WSO, you create a new thread: "FT Partners Analyst Searching for Roommate". You specify that you are exclusively looking for other FT Partners analysts to live with, not some analyst working at a shitty, overhyped balance sheet bank like GS or MS. Anxiously you wait, pacing about your room, fantasizing about all the great times to come with your FT Partners brethren, living nut to butt. And then, finally - a notification. A fellow FT Partners analyst by the name of John messages you and explains that he too was inexplicably impacted by the severe market dislocation and would like to live with you. Several more FT Partners analysts reach out, and you are now in possession of a leadership role in perhaps the most prestigious incoming full-time analyst apartment search in NYC history.

You confer with your cohort and start madly searching for any apartment you can get your hands on. Neighborhood is no longer a key factor, you determine, thus you broaden your search to all of Manhattan. John contacts you with a link to a beautiful 4-bedroom flex in Murray Hill for $10k/mo. Somewhat disappointed, you concede that this may be your only option. No matter. You are a FT Partners analyst and will be spending more time at the office than at home anyway. As leader of the apartment search, you contact the broker and ask for the lease details, sight unseen. He quickly responds with a rather confusing message: he currently has many offers on the apartment and will be going with the "best suited candidate." You mull this over with your team and efficiently work out that this is simply another result of the severe market dislocation. With no other discernable living prospects, there is only one choice - allow the bidding war to ensue. You work doggedly through the night with your elite group of analysts to create a sensitized apartment pricing model to send to the broker with your offer. "Good practice for my real job", you figure. Morning comes and you submit your offer of $10,420/mo to the broker. He immediately gets back to you and says, "Sorry, the current best offer is $12k." "Did he even read my pricing model???", you question, "So much for going with the 'best suited candidate'". You quickly realize the only way you are getting this apartment is if you bid considerably over market. "Fuck it", you say, as you send in your bid for $13k. The broker contacts you with amazing news - you have won the apartment! The thought of paying 30% over listing price swiftly exits your mind, as you are now the proud tenant of a NYC apartment. The broker then informs you that he will need first month's rent, security deposit, and a 1mo fee up front. You begin to sweat profusely. No one told you about this. "W-w-w-what?", you stutter fumble your words to your band of FT Partners analysts, " I don't have that much!" John calmly retorts, "Yeah you do bro. Your signing bonus!" You sheepishly disclose that you spent it all at the club a few weeks back. Your new roommates are impressed by your social grandeur but cannot offer financial assistance at this time. Neither can your parents, or any of your other friends. Out of options, you decide to contact Joe, your classmate who will be working at Evercore (no-name boutique). "He must have lots of money - he works in a shit-tier city", you determine. Fortunately, Joe offers you a loan to pay for all your apartment's upfront costs at a rate of L + 69.420%. Being the shrewd and calculated businessman you are, you accept this deal. This is the way. Apartment searching is paradise. 

- expand -

Never happened.

Never happened.

IncomingIBDreject

Could anyone breakdown how one would spend the entire signing bonus in one night? Genuinely curious. 

Paying for dinner with friends, bottle service at the club, hookers, gambling, and blow. 

how much is your signing bonus?

try to book a table at a cool NYC nightclub on Friday night - it'll cost $1-10k, depending on the place. then bottles can go as high as $1-5k per bottle - at some clubs they have a group of hot girls with like fireworks bringing them, so it comes out costly.