Dating issues

I met a girl, and we have been dating for 4 months. I met her traveling while I was on sabbatical. She is quite liberal, almost hippie, which is my type (or at least, I thought it was). However, things are proving tricky... 

For one, we have very different lifestyles. I usually work 70-80 hours per week, while this summer, she's working at a summer camp (we're long distance). When we talk on the phone, I am quite often exhausted, and she doesn't quite seem to understand the demands of this industry. 

In the long term, I'm interested in starting my own company, which will also require working a great deal... probably even more.

 With all this being said, I do enjoy spending time with her, and the sex is spectacular. Does anyone have any advice? 

14 Comments
 

Balancing a demanding career with a relationship, especially one that involves long-distance and differing lifestyles, can be challenging. Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some key insights and advice:

  1. Communication is Key:

    • Have an honest conversation with her about your work demands and future aspirations. As highlighted in WSO threads, it's crucial to set realistic expectations about your availability and energy levels. Explain how your career goals might impact your time together and ask if she can handle that.
  2. Be Present When Together:

    • One common theme in WSO discussions is the importance of quality over quantity. When you do spend time with her, make sure you're fully present. Avoid distractions like work emails or calls during those moments to show her that she matters.
  3. Assess Compatibility:

    • Lifestyle differences can be a dealbreaker. If she struggles to understand or accept your work ethic and future plans, it might lead to resentment. As some WSO users have pointed out, relationships require mutual understanding and effort. If she's not on the same page, it could create long-term friction.
  4. Evaluate Long-Term Goals:

    • Think about whether your visions for the future align. If you're planning to start a company and work even more, will she be okay with that? Relationships thrive when both partners share similar values and goals.
  5. Consider the Trade-Offs:

    • Some WSO contributors emphasize that great careers are hard to come by, but so are supportive partners. If you truly value the relationship, you might need to find ways to compromise or create balance. However, if you feel she's holding you back or doesn't align with your ambitions, it might be worth reconsidering.
  6. Long-Distance Realities:

    • Long-distance relationships are inherently tough, especially with a demanding schedule. As noted in WSO threads, they require extra effort, trust, and understanding. If she's not willing to adapt to the challenges, it could lead to frustration for both of you.

Ultimately, weigh the pros and cons of the relationship. If the connection is strong and you see potential for growth together, it might be worth putting in the effort. However, if the differences feel insurmountable, it could be better to part ways amicably.

Sources: IB + Long Distance Relationship, Anyone Deal w/ Extended Burn-Out?

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 
Most Helpful

First off, If the first words that come to mind when describing a significant other is based on sociopolitical beliefs, not a great thing.

Second, her values and beliefs seem quite contrarian to an Investment Bankers. She likely won’t ever see you as a grinder for any of the nobel reasons you conjured up in your head right before starting but will likely see the grind as a stab at entering into the realms of wealth that someone, who’s liberalism is almost “hippie like”, would scorn.

Not saying you should end things with her as I don’t have the full picture, but I would highly suggest thorough diligence and introspection. Take a step back and try to understand the reasons you like this girl. What do you like and dislike, and then decide if the love is real based on a pros outweighing cons list. Did you have plenty of options and this girl was just different? Or were you going through a severe dry spell and this was just the first woman reciprocating attention? Do you want to brag to your friends about her and show them pictures of your weekend fun? Or do you try to change the subject when she gets brought up? Time to think man

 

Poster was joking a bit but kinda nailed it on the head man. Sounds like a brutal fit, you can keep trying but this does not sound like it will work out. I'm not sure you'd be happy in the long run if it did. Move on and best of luck

 

I doubt the title of 'dating' means as much to her as it does to you. You sure you're the only guy she's shagging while on her hippie free love escapade in your 'long distance' relationship?

You can catch flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys looking fly
 

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