Dealing with jealous siblings

My younger siblings are jealous of my successful career and higher pay to the extent that they're becoming passive aggressive. They also always go against my advice just to prove me wrong even if that ends up hurting them. Have you ever dealt with sibling jealousy? Any advice? This is starting to weight on my mental health and I feel responsible for all their life decisions.

11 Comments
 

Uhh...you don't have a really good relationship with your siblings then. Siblings who are usually close to you celebrate your good times and successes, and help/support you in the bad times

 

Firstly, congrats on your success. Secondly, try to ignore the off hand and rude comments from your siblings. I am sorry you have to go through this but the best advice I can give is to just focus on yourself. If they come to you for advice, offer your insights and let them make their own decisions. You are not responsible for their life decisions or success and you should not feel guilty in any way for being successful. It's nice to be protective of your siblings but at the end of the day, they have their own lives and you have yours.

 

Tell them fuck off . They should be celebrating your success, not being a hater 

 

This is more of a parenting problem (your parents), than a you problem. Honestly, if your siblings are jealous of your success than there's nothing you can do about it at this point. Best to not let it bother you and move on with your life while keeping relationships with them as neutral as they can be. 

 

If they are adults then I can’t see how one can blame it on parents, especially as this seems to be a recent development - i.e. the siblings started behaving this way in lieu of them growing up like that

 

StopProcrastinating

My younger siblings are jealous of my successful career and higher pay to the extent that they're becoming passive aggressive. They also always go against my advice just to prove me wrong even if that ends up hurting them. Have you ever dealt with sibling jealousy? Any advice? This is starting to weight on my mental health and I feel responsible for all their life decisions.

This is very normal. I usually try not to bring up stuff such as finance around them. For example, keep my spending life away from their knowing etc.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 
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Yeah, this is the correct answer. My brother and I are on the exact opposite ends of the political spectrum. We have a really good relationship BECAUSE we don't ever, ever, EVER discuss politics. EVER. For the OP, the best way to handle this is to not discuss your job, change the subject if it comes up, try not to buy excessively expensive gifts, don't give unsolicited advice. 

The reality is, we're all prone to envy/jealousy. Each one of us, OP included. Instead of taking on this "sin" in your family's life head-on ("Billy, you have no right to be jealous; you're my brother, you're supposed to be happy for me!"), you should run from it.  

Array
 

100%. I keep it to football arguments, what's the best taco topping, and whether it's moral to have a button on crosswalks when it never actually works.

OP, stop giving advice, ask them questions about what's going on with them, and if you discover that they're having difficulty, say something like "damn that's rough, what're you going to do about it?" and when they say they don't know, just offer a helping hand "hey man, I know that sounds tough, I'm glad to help if you're interested, I really hope it all works out"

I tried going against this rule a few times and it only led to blowups and souring of the relationship. when I surrendered and was just there for him, everything improved

 

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SafariJoe, wins again!

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