Feeling burnt the f*** out
Just like the title says. I need some help here guys it feels like I’m losing it some days. I’m about to enter my last semester of undergrad, and this pandemic has brought to surface the effects of a long and hard grind. I’ve worked full time for the past couple of years to pay tuition, taking on summer semesters so I don’t fall too far behind ( was originally majoring in something unrelated and was fucked when I transferred into finance). So I haven’t had a summer off. I’ve busted ass leaving home in the dark, commuting an hour and a half to school for night class, only to get home when it’s dark once again. But I hop on my computer to knock out my assignments well past midnight most days to keep my GPA as near perfect as possible. After landing a solid internship at a fund, I networked all last year to get my foot in the door of a AM firm, only to have it cancelled for the summer due to you know what. So now I’m doing the graveyard shift at a warehouse because I have a big tuition payment at the end of August . I’ve been networking for full-time extensively this summer, and for some reason, I’ve just become so full of doubt. I’ve never been like this, but some days I get in my car to drive to my warehouse job at 2 AM, it just hits me. I just feel like it’s all for not. I worry about the long term trajectory of my career, the fact that I’m going to be finishing school way behind my peers, and all this other little bullshit, and I realize I’m about to be stuck in a freezer for a couple of bucks an hour and feel as if my goals are about to blow the fuck up in my face. I have anxiety attacks almost every week if I’m in my car. The grind, self-doubt, anxiety — it just feels like it’s getting to me and causing me to not take action. I just fucking worry a whole lot about everything now, and hesitate to get my ass out of the house for something as simple as going to the gym. I know my situation is not unique, I would just really love some help. I don’t want to burn out before even starting.
First of all, hit up THC or Benzos to help with anxiety if you can't workout. Secondly, just set some goals for yourself and then work on the steps to get there.
You may have to start sending out thousands of resumes. Think about how you can leverage your internships to meeting other people or job recommendations if they don't want to take you FT.
Would recommend THC because benzos can be expensive and you don't want to end up addicted like JORDAN PETERSON
Tried THC man but it just fucks too much with my anxiety. Idk about benzos. I would just really not want to become dependent on shit like that in order to stay sane.
Well then your only option is meditation or high HR activity.
Could be the type of THC or too strong of potency. Sativa strains tend to stimulate brain activity and activate anxiety/an “upper” feeing than indica strains. Sativa strains make you “head high” more or less and in very high concentrations (25% or higher) it can almost have a psychedelic effect.
Indica strains are “body highs” and tend to make you relax, in too high of a dose you feel really sluggish and some people hate that feeling of being “stuck”. I think a good way to go is a Hybrid strain with a potency of around 17-20%. If you’re not a smoker a half a joint will be just enough to relax you without activating all the sensations of “being high”. You can also find edibles that are easier to get down if you don’t smoke. Never eat more than 5-10 MG if you’re not a stoner, they take about 90 minutes to activate.
The thing about marijuana is that dosage is hard to monitor if you smoke and edibles are...nasty lol (and many people eat too much because they don’t feel the effects right away...bad mistake).
Also, maybe you could focus on graduating in the 2021 timeline instead of December 2020. You want to be in the normal recruiting cycle and maybe this corona virus will die down by then. You could avoid a tuition payment possibly and do a FT internship or abroad experience.
I feel the same way brother. Focus on the bigger picture. What you are going through will only make you stronger.
Thanks for the reassurance brother. I just need to control my emotional swings it seems
OP i feel your pain as i had been in a similar situation. just know that this will pass and youll be back on your feet. shitty situations usually go away with time, you just have to keep your head on a swivel to find a window out of it.
also don't compare yourself to others. fuck them. the game was rigged from the start. keep moving forward
Thanks man. I think you correctly pointed out something that has exacerbated everything — comparing myself to kids that have had parents uncles etc in finance, tuition never a problem etc aka privileged backgrounds. I’m in no way shitting on that. That’s great if you’re in that situation milk that’s fucking cow. But I thinking coming from a first gen background it’s stupid to dwell on how I’m not measuring up to the “traditional” path. I need to work on this a lot.
Been there. Just keep pushing forward because eventually things will work out and you'll get an offer. All you need is ONE firm to say yes and you're in, which is bound to happen if you keep grinding. I've been rejected from what I would consider my dream job in the past only to have a much better offer show up out of nowhere in the following months. The saying "when one door closes, another one opens" isn't just a bullshit saying, it's a reality if you don't give up. And when you finally end up succeeding, it will feel unbelievable. The harder you struggle for something, the sweeter the victory is.
Needed to hear this! Glad to hear it worked out for you man. I guess my fire is just being really tested right now but you’re 100% right.
Years will go by and you will look at this as a defining moment in your life. Keep pushing. Take deep breaths. Reach out to your support system whether that be family or close friends. It takes a village. You’ve got this!
Appreciate the support man! I gotta it take it day by day I guess. Can’t wait to have all this bullshit behind me
I think I was like you in college, working the graveyard shift. I felt like i never had a weekend off and after awhile that affected me. Back then, I had lower expectations. There was no WSO. There was not high bar. I was just doing the best I could at $6.50 per hour (2003) working in fast food. Couldn’t keep a relationship because I was working until midnight or later while going to school (for about 6 months).
Maybe things are different and you have to be perfect; doubt it. But if you can grind, keep a positive attitude, you will no doubt have an above average life. Don’t let setbacks define you, use them to grow and then look back later and say you are better off today having lived through those challenges.
Don’t give yourself that much pressure and don’t need to rush. Plans have been set back for many.
I also want to say for you younger people aspiring for Wall Street (In some fancy or non descript office building) that your time working with the Main Street folks will teach you a lot about relating with people, appreciating what you have, grounding you, and from an investor perspective learn about how most people live. Stay positive.
$6.50 holy shit that’s brutal man. You’re right about the perspective part as far as working with Main Street folks. I see some people here that are truly just happy people and they don’t really have much (wealth, that is). Thanks for the positivity!
That’s a shitty situation but the advice I’ve been giving to everyone is PUT THAT INTERNSHIP ON YOUR RESUME. Put in parentheses something like canceled due to covid after it but make sure it’s on your resume. You rightfully earned the internship and it was canceled by a fucking global pandemic, so people will understand that you actually got an internship and it was lost by something out of your control. Make sure you have proof whether it be a signed offer letter or email in case it’s asked for too.
You’re a grinder and I have no doubt you’ll get something better than what you were going to intern in, best of luck.
I was debating doing that, but I’ve seen a couple of threads on here already warning against that. That being said it looks like they were all from uncertified users lol I’ll take your word for it
Yeah 100% put it on, because otherwise if I look at that resume I’ll just assume you struck out on recruiting, or didn’t prepare well enough, or something else along those lines. If I see you had landed something and the internship canceled, it changes my perspective entirely and naturally eliminates that doubt.
This year is completely unprecedented and there’s definitely a ton of wiggle room.
Sorry to hear that. I don’t mean to discourage you, but you might be better off quitting the job and taking on student debt. In my view, you’ll get a much higher return spending that time networking than earning a few bucks in a warehouse.
This is most likely the route I’m taking. Taking on one loan to pay off my last semester. I’ve been fortunate and have been paid well enough with my other jobs to where I’ve been able to pay my tuition for all previous semester in full with the aid of some grants. Luckily I’m going to be interning at a fund (although they’ve communicated there won’t be a ft offer at the end) for the fall semester so that should help offset costs as well. I’m so fucking glad I’ll be able to call it quits on this warehouse job in about two weeks lol
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