Grabbing coffee with former boss who fired me - should I go and what can I get out of it?

Title says it all - former VP (now director) who was my manager and threw me under the bus about 8 months into my new role out of undergrad now wants to meet for a coffee. No idea why or why the sudden outreach. Is it something I should just ignore or is there something to be gained here I am not seeing?

Cheers!

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Think the “right” answer would be to go but not have any expectations since there’s no downside to going. Been through a similar experience in terms of being thrown under the bus and would be brutal if they had reached out. Who knows, maybe they reached enlightenment and realized they were being a complete ahole.

That being said, think it would be fine to ignore too.

 

it couldn't hurt going: bridge is clearly not burned/ good to have someone at least partially on your side even if you dislike them.

go to the coffee but delete since he will know 100% it is you if he reads this

 

might be looking to pivot to your firm or there might be a vacancy at ur old place lol

 

I'd guess that he is trying to apologize and has realized he was in the wrong. Maybe they want you back? If they do, call him on his BS and say "help me try to reconcile how I was treated as that was not great." 

If he's asking for help with an opening at your new firm, make it even more painful. "What's in it for me? You were an ass and screwed me over. Why would I want you here?" Obviously, gauge the situation as if they hire him, even if you protest, that could make your life more difficult. I'd also go to the staffer before the process ends and say, "if this guy gets hired, I can't work with him based on previous experience. He's a back stabber." That might be enough to end his process even though he is more senior...no one wants that on their team. 

 

Be careful what you say / do during it, but I would go. Worst case, you can clear the air and tell them you thought they treated you poorly.

For what its worth, I had something similar happen to me (felt like I was treated poorly) and I did not handle it well and really regret it. Burned a bridge at my last shop and although it would negatively effect me, finance is relationship based and they might matter at some point in the future. 

 

Tell him to meet at the bar instead and he's buying. Coffee with someone who threw you under the bus sounds horrific. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

It might be worth meeting up with your former boss, even if it feels a bit awkward. They might have reasons for reaching out that could be valuable for you. Think of it as an opportunity to gain some closure or insight into what happened when you were let go. You could ask about their experiences and share what you’ve been doing since then. Who knows? It could turn into a good networking opportunity, especially if they’ve moved up in their career. Just keep it professional and go in with an open mind. Ultimately, it’s up to you, but it could be a beneficial conversation.

 

It might be worth meeting up with your former boss, even if it feels a bit awkward. They might have reasons for reaching out that could be valuable for you. Think of it as an opportunity to gain some closure or insight into what happened when you were let go. You could ask about their experiences and share what you’ve been doing since then. Who knows? It could turn into a good networking opportunity, especially if they’ve moved up in their career. Just keep it professional and go in with an open mind. Ultimately, it’s up to you, but it could be a beneficial conversation.

 

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