Healing Childhood Trauma
Hi Everyone,
I recently landed my SA 2026 offer at a top boutique (EVR/MOE/GHL) from a non-target school. I have been doing nothing but finance recruiting for the past 1.5 years, so now that recruiting is done, instead of feeling happiness, I feel nothing but intense pain, which I have not felt since my senior year of high school.
I come from a very traumatized background, and I thought I would post here because you guys can relate to me more than most people can. My parents were abusive towards each other, and I went through a lot of shit from the ages of 0-10. For context, my dad and mom would regularly say openly, 'We should not have married' in the car in front of me every week. I would get beaten a lot as a child as well.
I also was terribly bullied in school by many people, both physically and verbally. I was bullied online as well, and coupled with being significantly overweight, it did not help my case.
I genuinely feel nothing but intense pain everywhere I go. I cannot even go to the gym without wanting to hide in the corner. I have an offer to a top firm, I should be feeling great, but instead the childhood trauma that haunt me before recruiting came back. I do not come from privilege either. My first job was at McDonald's for two years, and I have worked anywhere from 30 to 40 hours the past few semesters to pay down the school.
I am not mentally unstable enough to do something stupid; do not worry. I just do not want to feel this intense pain everywhere I go anymore.
Thanks!
Based on the most helpful WSO content, your situation resonates with many who have shared similar struggles. First, congratulations on landing a top SA 2026 offer—this is a significant achievement, especially given the challenges you've faced. However, it's clear that unresolved trauma from your past is overshadowing your success, and addressing this is crucial for your well-being.
Here are some actionable steps to help you navigate this:
Seek Professional Help: Therapy can be transformative for processing childhood trauma. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are often recommended for trauma. A therapist can help you unpack these experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Acknowledge Your Achievements: It's easy to downplay your success when you're in pain, but remind yourself of how far you've come. From working at McDonald's to securing a top boutique offer, your resilience is evident. Celebrate these wins, even if they feel small.
Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who uplift and understand you. Whether it's friends, mentors, or online communities like WSO, having a network can provide emotional support and perspective.
Focus on Self-Care: Activities like journaling, meditation, or even light exercise can help you process emotions and reduce stress. While the gym feels overwhelming now, consider starting with smaller, more private activities to rebuild confidence.
Consider Group Therapy or Support Groups: As mentioned in WSO threads, guided therapy groups can be incredibly helpful. They allow you to connect with others who share similar experiences, fostering a sense of community and understanding.
Set Boundaries and Prioritize Mental Health: As you prepare for your internship, remember that your mental health is as important as your career. If needed, communicate with your employer about any accommodations or support you might require.
Lastly, know that you're not alone. Many in high-stress industries like finance have faced similar struggles, and there is no shame in seeking help. Your past does not define your future, and with the right support, you can move forward and find peace.
Sources: On-Cycle, IB Offers, Hair Splitting, Depression, and "The Path", Bonus hit and feeling... nothing?, Bonus hit and feeling... nothing?, Response to 'PE Associate Jumps to Death' -> Resources and Tips for those who may be struggling, PE Associate Jumps to Death / Discussion on Mental Health
I’m terribly sorry to hear about the abusive treatment as a child. Exposure to that in those formative years of your live leaves irrevocable damage upon your psyche and your ability to navigate workplaces and interpersonal relationships later in life. I’m happy to be open about my own experiences bc I believe mental health stigma is absolute bs; my lack of my mother’s presence for reasons of chronic health conditions—despite her best intentions and trying— as well as some emotional deficits by my father have caused deep rooted attachment issues for me which I’m only now treating in therapy. I also have Bipolar II disorder, which after being treated for is now virtually nonexistent in my day to day life.
Therapy is the only answer. It could be very possible you have PTSD from those experiences and if it’s in conjunction with other underlying conditions or not, it can be disabling. I suggest you prioritize finding an experienced and empathetic therapist, not all are created equal. If medication is necessary that can be a useful as a tool as well. I only became treated for mental health issues recently and now that I do regular therapy and have a trusted doctor, my life is unbelievably better. It had been bad for so long that I honestly forgot the person I was before it became an issue.
It will get better, make sure you focus on building a support network and people you can trust and lean on when necessary. I wish you the best of luck, with the proper steps you can and WILL get through this.
Also, be proud of that offer. You worked your ass off for it and accomplished a lot, don’t forget that. Cheers buddy.
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