How did you get over a tough break up?

I know this has probably been asked on here a lot. But I just had my first harsh break up, and I'd like to hear how you all dealt with it.

Since the breakup was only a couple weeks ago i am still very much upset and am healing. My anxiety is making me feel anxious that he’s going to start talking to new people already when we both acknowledged that he should enjoy/learn what life is like being single.

For myself, I don’t feel the urge yet to put myself back out there, when is the right time? And how do you stop worrying about it ?

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Removing pictures in the interim is key, in my opinion. However, I'd caution against DELETING them entirely. It may work for some, but you never know.

I was with a girl for almost 4 years, right when I jumped into my professional career. Honestly thought we'd get married. Things went south shortly after I graduated from b-school, and she couldn't commit to moving out of the city I met her in.

Now, I don't mean to say that she should drop everything and move with me. She has a life too, I had to remember that. However, we both got fantastic offers in the same city with great COL, QoL, and much more. We had always talked about "taking our next step", but when push came to shove she did not want to leave the city she had lived in for the last five years.

She decided that we should go our separate paths. It absolutely crushed me. I was sad for a long time… a LONG time. I would say from start to finish it was probably 1.5 years before I fully recovered. But I did, and so did she. I am getting married in four months to a beautiful woman, and my former partner recently married a great man last year. We are good friends now and keep in touch regularly.

The thing I regretted? Permanently deleting all of our photos. While they sucked so much to look at during the time, I wish I had kept them somewhere. The memories are great, and a lot of them cultivated experiences that I will never forget. I just regret my decision to permanently terminate them.

NOW, this doesn't apply to everyone. Some people may fare way better with getting those memories erased, so to each of their own. If you'd like to save them somewhere, I recommend keeping them in a Shutterfly account or a Google Photos cloud and writing down the password. Remove the apps from your phone & computer, and don't check them. Give it a couple of months, maybe a year. But at some point, you may want to check them again. You never know!

Breakups suck ass, and to OP, I am sorry to hear. Don't let this distract you from your goals, and remember that you are more than just this girl. You will find another person, as hard as that may seem to be even imaginable. Be well!

 

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