How do you deal with the stress

Learn to take on uncertainty and accept the fact that you may not get an EB/BB but you are trying your best

Do you lift/have physical outlets to let out? I am assuming you are a guy, but that sort of stuff has helped in the past when I went through extreme periods of stress (parents dying, homeless in college, getting sued, etc.)

Key is to understand your emotions and what is causing those. DO NOT BROOD. If you have some, confide in close friends to get their perspective. DO NOT BROOD. Use your emotions to fuel yourself, not drain yourself. As someone who dealt with those types of thoughts when I was younger, you will realize looking back how silly it was to feel that way at that time...life isn't easy and this won't be the last of the challenges. So understand the why/how you are feeling this way, find a way to mitigate it in another outlet, and keep a productive mindset - the more hours you let it consume you, the less hours you have to actually combat the reasons for it.

It sounds like you need to step away from “the game.” The chase is certainly not worth stress to the point of suicidal thoughts. You won’t lose any progress by taking a breather.

Now is a great time to slow down and hit the pause button. Very few times in your lifetime will be offered to truly focus on yourself. Now is one of them. First and foremost, find a professional qualified to help you manage your stress, anxiety, and mental heath.

I am not sure that the ol bag of stress management tricks is well suited for you at this point in time. Sleep deprivation, suicidal thoughts, and mental health deterioration to this degree require professional help and support.

We are here to listen. Happy to stick around if you need to keep on talking.

Nobody wants to hear this but it's worth pointing out that recruiting is the easiest part of the job. It only gets more stressful when the deliverables, responsibility, and timelines start to crunch you, and your paycheck, livelihood, and career are on the line. You'll have less sleep than right now for a very extended period of time.

Honestly if it's not too late, I would recommend stepping back and focusing on yourself. What do you really want out of life? Are you taking care of yourself (sleeping, healthy eating, exercising)? Why are you pursuing this career path? There is a whole world of opportunity out there and "high" finance is a really brutal way to torture yourself for not much extra money, all things considered.

Different context but have been there.

Positive affirmation. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you can do this. Tell yourself you'll get through it.

If you're religious, start practicing again. Prayer is a powerful tool.

Fuck recruiting and investment banking. If you’re having suicidal ideation, that may be a sign of deeper issues. Please go speak with a professional. Message me if you need help exploring options. Today.

1. stay organised & keep a schedule of things to do. You will probably feel good when you are productive.

2. Do a little bit of sports even if you feel terrible. Go for a run once a week or something like that.

3. Speak to yourself as if you were your best friend. Would your best friend say “You fucking moron, you had one chance and you blew it!” or “Its okay, I am sure you will get the next one. Dont worry, learn from the experience and come back stronger. You have to stay positive or you’ll shoot yourself in the leg”.

4. When you feel happy, find out why & simulate the event when you feel down. If bubble baths make you happy, when you feel bad - have a bubble bath.

5. I dealt with the same issue & still am lowkey. I am sure there is a deeper underlying issue with me I had a drastic change since the start of 2020.

Find out whether your depression is real or just a result of a shitty, hard year. either way professional help is needed.

Again, because I am a scared asshole I didnt seek professional help. Instead I have a suicide diary. Every time I feel extremely suicidal (not just ugh, today sucked), I write down the date & why. Then, when you see the pattern in “why”, do something about it. I assume I should talk about this with a professional and it helps because I show up to the meeting and say I have issues with X, Y and Z. I am doing things about X but idk what to do about Y and Z.

6. Dont be afraid to rant to friends & family and WSO. Dont keep the lid closed. Open up (dont post sad IG stories tho pls)

As a conclusion, from my experience I can only say “Don’t worry. Things get better”.

2017, 2018, 2019 fucking killed me. Im about to graduate without a job but somehow things are looking up and I feel a lot happier.

Don’t let a moment of weakness define you forever.

I recently finished recruiting. I'm assuming that you are also a sophomore recruiting for 2021. Anyways, I have some advice:

1. Don't compare yourself to your peers. Your life is your own journey.

2. Read spiritual books: I recently started doing this and it has really helped me with my career and personal life. You start understanding the value of life, and how trivial some things really are.

3. Understand that in the long-run, this point in your career is not as important as it may seem. If things don't work out with recruiting, you can always lateral later, get an MBA and break in, or maybe you will find your true passion elsewhere.

4. Hang out with friends and family. Do things outside of recruiting that make you happy. Pursue hobbies and interests.

More importantly, if you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately. Talk to people, it can be anyone. Start with your friends and family. Then, if needed, talk to a professional.

PM me if you want to talk more, whether it's about the recruiting process, or just life.

I've been trough stressfull moments. You could do some research on: - mental resilience - mental toughness

What helps for me is: - breath control (inhale 4 seconds and exhale 4 seconds) - no social media and phone after 8:00pm - accept you have stress, all succesfull people have do deal with stress. You dont have control on the outcome, but you have control on your input. Just sport coaches: some will fail, but it's not the end of the world. Get up and keep on going. There will be tough moments.

some things that have helped me:

1. Start with workout + your favorite music. even just 5-10 mins. This starts with a strict bedtime. Everyone is different, but to start earlier wake up at least initially requires a bit more sleep for me. Can also mean alarm on other side of room + coffee/caffeine drink with no sugar within arm’s reach for a.m. Chug when you hit snooze at the very least!

2. WALK- If all else fails, WALK. If you can’t convince yourself to work out yet or are in initial phases of starting the habit and want to skip a day (or when are stressed and can’t convince yourself to “waste” study time or prep for a networking call to work out), walk from your home to local field/track/sidewalk and read morning news or practice Behaviorals or technicals as you walk. I found a quiet side street and literally do laps on sidewalk talking out loud to myself. listen to WSO Podcast for inspo from other people who went through this who offer advice. Also great ideas for answers to common interview questions in those podcasts.

3. Food- Resist stress eating. start small, just delay eating junk or too much when you get stressed. Be proud of yourself even if you give in initially, and you will slowly build up ability to ignore shitty food. Been working on this for months (fasting as well) and it is LIFE CHANGING.

4. Take breaks- you think it’s lazy but it’s not. you’ll be more efficient and retain more if you do a 20 min YouTube circuit or walk in middle of big study block

5. Tracking: Make a google doc and track your studying. Keep it simple. You will get addicted to adding to it, and it’s cool to watch progress. Mine has columns: date, Goal (networking/Behaviorals/technicals), specific subject (ex: EV/equity value), time spent, takeaway/big victory (ex: finally didn’t fucking up EV today...or “remember to subtract xyz”). it’s not optimized for data gathering, I just wanted a quick and dirty log of progress and a way to keep track of progress on big hairy concepts over time. Sometimes I forget where I was last if I take 2 days off, and this helps me see what I haven’t reviewed in a while, too.

6. Affirmation podcasts. “affirmation pod” or “strong within” are two solid ones. To each their own.

7. Meditate- been doing this for 8 years. It is so crucial to my mental health and drastically improves focus. Too many studies to cite here, but it’ll rewire your brain in a great way.

Number 1 thing: Seek professional help. Having suicidal thoughts is a huge red flag. Find a reputable psychologist who fits within your budget and has some specialty in what you're dealing with (ie young people, depression, anxiety). Honestly, this can be hard in America as good psychologists are usually not on most people's insurance and a lot of college's have terrible mental health services but you have to persevere in finding someone. Stuff like cognitive behavioral therapy and potentially medication can be huge for a lot of people.

In terms of general destressors, I would first focus on sleep. You need to commit yourself to going to bed at a reasonable time and not spend anytime on your phone etc. You ONLY want to be in your bed when you are going to sleep. In terms of falling asleep, you need to let yourself relax by letting go of the stressful thoughts and in a way just sort of accepting the way you're feeling (how your emotions are moving sortve). You also don't want to stress out about not being able to relax. Number one thing is to avoid rumination. Never be too hard on yourself. If you can't sleep for over an hour, get up and take a little walk/stretch out and then try again. I would also try 3-5mg melatonin to take right before you lie down for the first time. Don't recommend taking more than that and obviously stop and talk to a doctor if you think you're having side effects.

You also need to be getting some type of exercise and be going outside every day when the weather is somewhat decent. Makes a huge difference. Deep breathing when you're stressed can also help a bit too. Outside of sleep and exercise, you want to focus on being comfortable with the worst possible outcome. That's a healthy way to rationalize a situation in which failure really isn't that bad. You have a long career ahead of you and the most important part of that career isn't likely going to be in your 20s so spending a few extra years to get where you wanted to be out of college has an unbelievably marginal impact. Also don't ever get caught up on stuff that already happened. If you can't change something, then there's no remote reason to worry about it lol. Finally, recruiting out of college is fucking hard because you have no professional track record. So many of my friends are stressed out about recruiting for stuff outside of IB and they are in like engineering and comp sci and have good grades at a flagship state school. Never think of yourself as being a failure. Last thing I'll say is try to structure your days with a list of things to do. Helps reduce uncertainty that you may worry about. I hope this ramble was helpful but that brings me back to my first point of seeing a professional who can way better help you. I'm just applying what I learned from the psychologists I saw when I was in high school and dealing with OCD. Def PM me if you need help with anything.

My thought was "wow that escalated quickly" when I read suicidal thoughts. Honestly, if recruiting gets you suicidal thoughts, you need to seek help ASAP. I'm not denying that recruiting can be extremely stressful, but it should never make a person have any suicidal thoughts.

If I’m dealing particularly poorly: drugs, alcohol, guys

slightly better: call my mom and cry over the phone

best: workout and nap/good night’s sleep

yes it can be stressful, two things help.

1. over prepare. when I know I’m way more prepared than anyone else, I can tell myself I deserve this.

2. bang hot girls. it’ll make you feel good and chill you out

buck up man. life is so much more than your first job out of college. yes it’s important, but you’re young and have time to recover...even if you didn’t land an IB internship or job and did some other valuable work for a year or two you’d still be off to a great start. WSO can be an echo chamber so don’t always fully drink the look-aid. just apply yourself and do the best you can do and I’m sure you’ll do great.

also start lifting...intensely and everyday...this will help decrease stress and increase production of “feel-good” hormones. very important.

I think you need to ask yourself why you're going through this. I know people who coasted through school at my nontarget, got a 3.0 GPA, but managed to get a normal job and are pretty happy making 60k per year. They work 40 hours a week, have a relationship, a good work/life balance, and overall a good quality of life. Idk if you're at a target or a nontarget, but I'd imagine at a target there are even more opportunities to do this.

If you're going into banking because you want money, constantly compare yourself to other people's success (probably defined by prestige and wealth), or want the overhyped "exit ops" that banking gives you, but you don't actually give a shit about banking and the idea of working in the industry stresses you out, don't do it. Since you're going through recruiting I'll use a topical metaphor. When they ask you to walk you through a DCF and you get to the part where you project your financial statements over 5-10 years, why is it that specific period of time? Because any more than that is so uncertain you can't predict what will happen. If you think the only way you'll be successful in 5 years is to do banking, it makes no sense. Sure it may increase your chances, but if you work hard in wherever you end up, you can find success, with or without banking. Live for the moment not for the chance of a perfect future that's one in a million, even in this industry.

Stay calm, breathe, meditate often, exercise

Minimize distractions during times you should be focused, have distractions (hobbies) for times you should be disconnected, improve your organizational skills/don't procrastinate, and lift heavy.

I jerk off a lot when im stressed if no gf, also go to the gym when im stressed (obviously not fucking now with this shit still kicking around)

This will sound incredibly simplistic but I found the best way to reduce stress was to basically ban myself from having stressful thoughts and instead using that mental effort to focus on things I CAN control:

Practicing technicals, modeling ad nauseam

Mentally rehearsing interviews / my answers to technical and behvioural questions - write down well structured notes

Reading finance books of all kinds, writing down lessons from all of them

Find case studies online or make your own - what deals have been made / why / what stocks are doing well etc and why

Read qood quality WSO comments and write down interesting nuggets of info

No matter how things turn out if you ruthlessly focus on things in your control you can hold your head high and know you gave it your best shot. That ideology has helped me live with my failures and increase my success rate.

World of Warcraft

PM me, have some thoughts for you.

See a doctor. There is no other answer for someone with suicidal thoughts.

While you wait to see the doc: try a day off. I was very surprised what it's done for me in the midst of high stress periods when you think its all on the line . . IB recruiting, other job searches etc. Have a day where you sleep in (probably most important part of it) and just do nothing for the day. If a day is too long to pull away, fine you can do a shorter break but definitely get sleep. Always makes things 10x better for me and actually saves time because I'm more productive afterward.

Jerk off. Post-nut clarity achieved. With that clarity, introspect and ponder my current state of life. Am I happy? Am I just going through some temporary struggles? If the latter, grind knowing you'll come out stronger than before. If actually depressed. Quit your job and do what you really wanted to do. Realise that doing so will also cause stress, of different forms and intensity but nonetheless, stress. Stress will come knocking on your door regardless of what you're doing. Everyone has it tough. But those that persevere and come out stronger will be prepared for when it kicks in next.

Very natural to stress about recruiting. A couple things have helped me to deal with work stress overall:

• I thank my dad for never blaming me individually for a failure (like I am stupid; instead blame my girlfriend or video games) by instilling in me that I could’ve done had I done ____ differently. It’s helped me with confidence and not get to down on myself, instead do things differently next time.

• I’m generally an optimistic person. I teach my kids to look at things with a silver lining or embrace alternatives. This toy is broken; let’s tape it up or how about this.

• master the “pivot.” I have a motto: “give yourself 3 years and you can totally reinvent yourself.” Besides things like playing for the NBA or doing all the education to become a doctor, three years is generally enough time to pivot. If you don’t get immediately what you want, go for the next best thing.

• fuck the Joneses. Who cares what others are doing. You’re your own story. In life, there will always be someone better looking, faster, stronger, smarter, etc than you. I got humbled early in life by the geniuses at my private high school. Accept it and have goals that are extremely personal in nature. For example, I’m the most happiest when I go full circle in life. It’s become my career goal. I managed to take a personal hardship and over time got to help others going through similar. It’s very personal and fulfilling, and I can be happy for other people because it’s not zero sum to me. I have my own path.

• every big problem can be broken down into small problems with solutions that you can chip away at. Gives you a sense of control. Also don’t panic. Sometimes you have to accept defeat, ok what do we do now?

• when I was an analyst I used to tell myself that some stress is good. That I should feel lucky to have my seat, because others wanted it. That I should embrace this opportunity and try hard and take it seriously. Later in your career, stress comes from “everyone wants a fucking piece of me” but turn it around and you think I provide something of value that’s why they want a piece of me.

I think you can frame situations in your mind to take on challenges with a smile. Of course when you mess up, or getting yelled at, or going to fall short of meeting payroll to pay your employees, you are going to have stress. Then you go into fix it mode.

Stress causes bad things like health problems. Some people can’t handle stress very well (like my wife) and you know what it’s great she works in a low stress job - she’s happy. I would tell her she is more gifted than me (I’m sincere she was the “top senior” in undergrad business school long time ago and immensely more popular than me) as if I could inspire her to take her business to new heights, but she’s content on a lifestyle business. She started at a bank as an analyst. At some point, don’t force what you are not.