How Do You Guys Combat Depression/Thoughts of Self-Harm?
Every time I muster up the energy to apply to firms or get close to an offer, the process is halted by some sht. When I was recruiting out of UG, I had a pandemic to combat against in a sht country (Canada) and now, a. I've given up in trying to enter a field I genuinely enjoy, and have settled for work. But after being auto-screened out of any new graduate position, and considered "not a good fit" for everything else, I'm pretty comfortable saying that if I were to pass away today, I would not miss this life. I was hoping reading Stoic meditations and other books surrounding life philosophy may help. Perhaps focusing on the inputs and finding the good in every day. But despite my best efforts, I come back to this feeling of angst, bitterness, hatred, envy, and such.
I'm getting really tired of trying to think of reasons to avoid doing anything permanent. Anyone been this stuck before? I've been recruiting and doing everything humanly possible for ~4-5 months now, and I naively thought that after gaining a bit of work experience, it'd be easier to search for a full-time role the second time around. Perhaps life would just feel better if I gave up on consulting & finance altogether and took some gov job and pray the boredom kills me slower than the depression.
I understand the above thoughts are incredibly dark, but it's been like 2 years since I've tried entering business consulting and the only advice I've consistently received is to get more relevant work experience as if that's an option.
Anyone else been through this or something similar?