How often do you pay when it comes to dating?

when you’re on a date, how often do you end up paying? Do you usually pick up the tab, split it, or does she cover it sometimes? Everyone has a different approach, so I’m curious: how do you usually handle it?

20 Comments
 

Married here so I know it’s different, but I probably pay 2/3 of the time. Typically whichever one of us wants to do something or asks the other to do something pays. It all comes from the same place anyhow. 
 

When we were dating it was 100% me for the first few months, but once we were committed we moved to the “whoever asks pays” method and it works. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

That makes sense, especially when you’re sharing finances. It’s interesting how things shift from one person paying early on to a more balanced approach once the relationship gets serious. The “whoever asks, pays” method seems like a fair way to keep things equal. How do you think that approach affects your relationship overall?

 

I’m not sure who pays for dinner impacts our relationship in any meaningful way. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
throaway00

 The “whoever asks, pays” method seems like a fair way to keep things equal. How do you think that approach affects your relationship overall?

He's married.  If you think this kind of thing matters to a married couple, then you aren't ready to be in that kind of relationship

 
Most Helpful

If it's the first couple dates with a new woman you met, the expectation in most bigger cities would be that the guy pays.

I grew up in very small towns and it could happen that she asks the guy out/pays on some occasions. different culture/regional, and small town dates could be free or very cheap anyway. like going to a park or getting ice cream.

 

usually for 3 dates, then we start splitting tabs.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

monkeytreeclimb

What happens after your third dates that creates this shift lol

She usually offers.

Dates 1 - 3 many girls offer but I turn down and pay full. Then on 4th date she offers to split again and I accept.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

As a guy, pay every time. It's honestly just table stakes. Women want someone that can protect and provide for them, and they literally get dry the moment you hint that you can't offer that.

The only exceptions I think are if you're in a LTR/married, or its a first date where you can tell halfway through that she is not attracted to you and there likely won't be a second date. But even then I would still pay out of principle. 

"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."
 

Paid until she made more than me during our internships asked her if we could do more 50/50 and she happily obliged. I still pay for big holidays like anniversaries and valentine’s day

 

Reading these responses I feel like I've been lucky, I can only think of like 1 or 2 girls who've expected me to pay for everything, certainly nothing that lasted long term. Even this girl I met while backpacking in Iran insisted on paying for one of our dates, I felt bad knowing how much she earned. 

I almost always insist on paying for the first date and usually let them get the next one depending on what it is. I'll probably pay 2/3 of the time if there's an earnings gap in my favour. In a long term relationship now and we pay for everything out of our joint account which I put 2/3 of the funds into. 

 

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