how to deal with depression and anxiety silently?
I have been getting more work FINALLY after trying so hard. at the same team, I havent been feeling well at all. my anxiety keeps hitting hard. I hate myself to a serious extent. people praise my “positive attitude” at work. I have been working weekends. response time less than 1 minute but I feel that I can’t. If I take time off, I will be missing out on work and will be left behind. some projects I have been working on for months finally picking up now. I do talk to a therapist but they tell me is to breathe and find my motivation and I can’t do either. I feel like a failure because I can’t commit to workout, healthy eating or any sort of routine. getting myself to do the work just takes up all my energy. everyone on my group just have their shit together. they are lifting 3-4 times a week and running marathons. it takes me over an hour to get out of bed everyday. I put all my energy into the work that it is hard to do anything else
talk to a psychiatrist, maybe start taking medications. I know there is this whole stigma around it but the pills really help.
I take Paxil and find it really helped me out a lot. I was quite nervous at first, but now it's weird I'm just 'normal' and don't worry about things that don't make sense and am less awkward.
The downside is I can't drink as much on it, so when you're trying to keep up with the group, things get out of hand.. I find every beer on Paxil = about 3 beers normally. It's not just how drunk you are, it's the hangover the next day as well that's multiplied.
If your current therapist does not work, don't hesitate to find a new one. Many folks go through multiple before they find one that sticks.
There are several methods and practices that can help, I won't bother to list them all. I recommend trying them all of them until you find the combination that works for you. It sounds like breathing and "finding your motivation" do not work for you. That is fine, chances are there is a different combination that will work better. i like to stretch, read science fiction, and run.
Above all, be patient with yourself. You work a demanding job, you have accomplished a lot, it sounds like you are well respected too. You are doing a great things and are in a fantastic position to begin improving your mindset and well being.
Good luck
Perhaps unpopular opinion but 95% of therapists are hacks. You can get into grad school to become a therapist with a 2.5 gpa from the University of Phoenix, no GMAT, no experience at all as long as you don’t have a history of involuntary psychiatric holds. It is the career of choice of people who have failed at whatever they actually wanted to do and I swear to god that 50% of therapists have personality disorders themselves. Don’t bother because they’ll just tell you to breathe, push back (lol), or quit your job and travel (LOL). They won’t get it (and will get insanely offended when you so much as suggest as such) so find someone who will
If you want someone that could actually possibly help, look for a psychiatrist (MD) who does therapy or a psychologist (PhD). At least there are standards for those two fields and they‘lol understand what’s going on in your head at a fundamental level. If you need meds, take them. You wouldn’t ride out an ulcer or a torn ACL by hoping they’d just go away so don’t do that with your brain just because you can’t physically see or feel whatever’s going on
One way that my psych (ex-IBD by the way) told me to frame it was to remind yourself that a little anxiety and insecurity is a good thing. It means that you are self aware and have really high standards for yourself and that you’re not some complacent piece of shit. But too much is bad and that’s what you need to balance out. Eating healthily shouldn’t be a chore and you should think of it more as what you’re giving to your body, which you only get one of. Take care of it
Good luck
read mans search for meaning by viktor frankl. I know what your thinking (“okay asshole, read a book thanks a lot”) cause that’s what I thought when it was recommended to me by a mentor, but it changed my outlook on life and how I view things.
it’s a quick read too.
Of course it depends on the person but it did not seem to help me. It felt like the things he was going through was completely different than mine and a little bit outdated for modern world
okay asshole, read a book thanks a lot
+1 great book
I tried to give an SB but they won’t let me give SBs anymore on here, I’m banned from SBs.
If you want the "safe route", get SSRIs aka NPC Drugs. If you want the AWESOME route, take a few days off, drive into the woods or somewhere quiet and take a fucking huge dose of DMT/LSD/Psilocybin. I´m not talking heroic levels. I´m talking straight up Legendary Gilgamesh-tier will-be-remembered-in-songs-around-campfires levels, bro. That should fix you good. Or finish you for good. Mixed bag, really.
Ayahuasca retreat? I’ve always wanted to try it out...
Fuck "spiritists". Fuck "shamans". Fuck fake-ass white upper-class kiddies, their first world problems and their longing for "spiritual fulfilment". Go to Church and pray if you want to speak with a higher entity. These substances are about you and your Id/Subconscious - nothing else.
The side effects of SSRIs are a problem for both sexes...
Yeah. They are literal mindpoison. Believe me, I watched them do their "magic" with one of the people I love most in the world - it was not pretty. They don´t heal, they merely numb. Fuck SSRIs. And cue the MS, baby, I´m still telling the truth.
this is such stupid advice lmao
get some MARIJUANA
That will even worsen it. MJ is the pleb´s choice. Ballers do orange sunshine or elven spice.
I recommend the book Feeling Good: the new mood therapy dy David Burns. It definitely helps with depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues
First of all, don't deal with it "silently". See a psychiatrist and they may reccomend medications and a therapist. I won't help to keep everything bottled up.
Also, the person that reccomended Feeling Good by David Burns is spot on. That is a great book. (But also, at least try a therapist.) Trying to manage it alone and "silently: is tough and may make it worse.
You'll need to drop the mentality of comparing with others. If you want to feel bad because someone out there is doing better than you, then there will always be someone. You will never feel good about yourself.
Life circumstances can be different, you can't really compare with anyone. But since it's hard to drop that mentality, here's a trick that works: compare with... yourself from yesterday. This helps a lot if you want to establish healthy workout, diet or reading routines.
Set a daily goal: 30 minutes walk. Do it. if at the end of the day, you did it, you can sleep well at night because you did better than yesterday. Then increase, slowly, the daily goal. The 30 mins walk will become a jog and eventually a 1 hour workout. It takes time, even a couple of years, it doesn't matter. What matters is that at the end of the day you can lay down and say ''I did something today and I am better than yesterday'''.
A very easy example comes from book reading. You set a goal of 20 pages a day. Not much. That's 200 pages in 10 days, a small book. 3 small books a month. 36 a year. at the end of the year you read 36 books! You know more than before. No reason to be anxious about tomorrow if you did your duty today.
The one thing I want to say is you don’t have to deal with it silently or privately. We’re all human and no one will think you’re weak or lesser for having issues. In fact, being able to confront your vulnerabilities head on makes you strong. If you ever want more help than a private therapist (not to say that therapy is bad or ineffective, it’s amazing), there are people in your life that care about you and will want to help you. Let them help you.
Please tell me a universal way to deal with depression
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