IB is ruining my dating life
Single guy living in a big city. Pretty much living the dream in terms of a nice place and money to show for it as an Analyst. But I’ve been working 80+ hours week for the past few months, common to see where it’s firmly into 100+.
For me, the issue isn’t finding the time to date. I can do that on a Saturday. Scheduling dates is super easy and texts are easy to start with. The issue is when these chicks want to go further, I don’t have the mental energy to reply. My mind on the desk can’t be anywhere else other than the work. And to me, lowkey, texting these chicks is exhausting, especially if you have a roster (maintaining one is fkin difficult)
I’m using up all of my bandwidth trying to survive so I always get “you reply too long or you cancel our second / third date”. One time a girl straight up told me you clearly don’t have time to be in a relationship. Brutal.
What do I do bros? Fucking hell girls nowadays need 24/7 spoon fed attention. A guy can’t go a few days without texting without them thinking its over or something
Brother, if you can’t even send a few text messages, you gotta ask yourself how bad you even want to be with a woman right now. We’re really scraping bottom of the barrel here.
You also aren’t working 80-100 hours a week even if you’re in the office 80-100 hours a week. You have time to send a flirty text or two or ask someone how their day went, even if it’s while you’re taking a shit.
If you care to, that is. No shame if you don’t. But usually if I’m complaining about putting forward the bare minimum of effort into something, it’s because I don’t want to do that thing, not because the bare minimum is hard or time consuming.
Thanks man and @Bankofblooby762.
I guess to me, it isn’t the time part but the mental aspect. Like you need to think about what you’re going to text, right? That takes a bit of mental energy.
But after expending that on the desk, the last thing I want to do is use my brain even further. I want to switch it off when I get the chance.
Maybe I need to look into automating the texting part? Or maybe it just takes a bit of discipline and not viewing it the way I am currently.
Guys you paid 20 bucks to Anthropic / OpenAI for a reason…
Second what CRE said. If you can't text back in good time, then do you really want them that much?
A gf would usually be expecting a lot more than 1 text a day and 1 date a week. Unless you find a girl who is understanding of your job, then there's not much point getting a gf who's gonna inevitably leave you when she feels you're not investing enough.
Why do you think banking is a revolving door mate. There’s a price to pay. Welcome to adulthood.
Are you sure you are not looking for a sex doll?
I know this is meant jokingly, but based on what OP writes it genuinely seems like he doesn't care about the girls he's talking to at all. That to me suggests strong narcissism, which is really unattractive to girls who value themselves but is tolerated by nacissistic and needy women.
yeah bro very pathetic. Seems like the kind of guy whose whole self esteem revolves around this mid-ass IB job.
It’s a bit disheartening to see how social media glamorizes the “finance bro” culture, and even more so when both young professionals and those well into their 30s seem to buy into it.
I started my career in M&A, and one of the biggest lessons I carried forward actually came from outside the office - while dating. Asking genuine questions, listening actively, paying attention to details, even small gestures - those are the things that build meaningful relationships.
As you move up in your career, especially at the Director level and beyond, the same principles apply. Technical skills matter, of course, but what truly sets leaders apart are listening skills, empathy, and the ability to offer thoughtful insights. That’s what sustains long-term success, both professionally and personally
"What do I do bros? Fucking hell girls nowadays need 24/7 spoon fed attention. A guy can’t go a few days without texting without them thinking its over or something"
i feel sorry for your girlfriend
Roster? So you're not trying to date, you're getting needy chicks who see you're successful and are willing to hookup. While I never did the IB hours, I did do S&T, and that was during some of the craziest periods in markets. I've done 70-80 hour work weeks. Never once did I find myself neglecting my then fiancé.
The girls you're getting that need attention 24/7 are needy girls. If you want to find girls that aren't needy, there's plenty of them, but most wouldn't put up with 80-100 hour work weeks, nor being another slot on your roster.
Honestly, I don't even text most of the day. With my wife, we start mornings together, and we end evenings together, but we basically never text in the middle of the day. It's almost always been this way, bc I have shit to do and so does she. Even when we were dating, I still only texted her to meetup and go out, basically never just to text. So if you want that kind of a dynamic, you have to find a girl who is also somewhat equally busy and hardworking, and not needy asf.
To summarize things
delete
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