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Did he know you were waiting?
I mean either way, probably yeah it's socially acceptable. Can't really micromanage everyone's feelings in a gym.
Yes I told him before he did it... I'm not going to lie it pissed me off a lot and in the past I have gotten into arguments with people who have done this. It feels slimey. This time the other guy came off 30 seconds after but I was considering going in there and telling the guy to fuck off.
Also didn't remove his weights after finishing...
I means depends on how much he left on the bar. I might ask if some one wants 135 for warm up and leave that on the bar.
He wouldn't have known if you were waiting. It's also socially acceptable for you to tell him that you were waiting b4 him, and yall work in together.
When this happens to me, the current person using the bench usually tells the new guy that I'm waiting, so we all work in together or the new guy lets me use the bench first.
Have seen fights happen over shit like this tho, lol. Roid rage
In the terms of the old school, "put your quarter up for next" and instead of waiting for that guy to snake you, be the first one to ask for next when you know he's getting closer to the end of his set(s). For a slightly nerdy but pertinent example: a few years ago an electronics store had a graphics card on a fantastic sale for 4th of July. They had one in the display case and there were several scruffy beards waiting around staring at it, but I took the iniative and found the nearest rep and asked him about it because I wanted one. Turns out, that was the last one they had. And he just opened the case and handed it over with a smile while everyone else heard him say it and got very gloomy.
Welp, screw you guys. If you had some balls, I would've been the one losing out insteaad of waiting for something to happen to me instead of making things happen for me. Don't be a jerk, but be assertive. And if you took the first mover advantage and asked for next, you could even say "I'll help you move the weights because I use a different amount anyways", and boom. You just sweetened the deal and 90% of the time he'll definitely be on your side versus the snake who probably jerks off thinking of himself as Snake Plissken in the mirror anyways (RIP Kurt).
Are you the Audiophile?
other solutions that are better than 10 minutes of downtime in the gym
doing something > complaining on the internet
godspeed
Can I add one more? Similar to #1-3, if there's an open rowing machine, either grab some free weights or bench weights to put on to add resistance and work that for those ten minutes or until you burn out.
Can you explain the logistics of this to me? Put the weights... where? Maybe I'm used to a different erg than you are, but I don't see how this is possible. You're pulling a chain to spin a flywheel - there isn't anywhere to attach the weights to increase the resistance!
The bigger dude gets to define the rules and what is acceptable or not, sorry bro
I was the bigger guy by far.
just work in with him. sounds like you're more pissed off you don't have a bench to yourself in a crowded gym
people are really disliking this? You're a actually a p u ss y if you can't handle working in with somebody on a bench.
I disagree with most of the people on this thread. If there are people waiting in line for the bench or a machine you don't snake them. You can ask to work in with them fine but not with the guys who are just about to finish using the bench. Seems you guys are rationalizing or excusing his behavior when he was being a punk. He also did not re-rack his weights (no one asked for him to leave them on).
I was trying to get a pulse on the consensus but seems I disagree with the consensus. Either way, I will enter into conflict over this issue in the future.
Truth
Yeah but the guy that asked to work in can't be responsible for fucking surveying the entire gym to see who might be waiting for a bench...
why don't you work in with him? it's a public gym, you don't need to be the only person using a bench or a machine at a time. I don't even ask people how many sets they have left, just ask to work in. I'm not there to stand and wait for no reason.
I was waiting, and told him I had been waiting. If he wanted work in he should have asked himself. Also a lot of people like having the bench to themselves. I have asked people in the past if I can work in with them and some of them have just said no or "I just have 2 more sets" left. Some have said yes but clearly reluctantly... It's actually obnoxious to always ask people if you can work in with them as it puts them in a situation where if they say no they come off as douchebags, but deep down they really don't want to share the bench. Perhaps for hygienic reasons or because it messes with their timing between sets or the need to remove and re-add weights.
You corner them. And so I only do it if I am in a big big rush and always explain that to people before asking. I, however, have never said no to someone asking me to work in.
if you don't wanna share the bench, work out at home, build a gym in your garage, etc. if you work out in a public gym and you don't let people who pay as much as you do use the equipment, you're a douchebag. that's my opinion.
to address your points:
- hygiene. it's a public gym, hundreds of sweaty men use this bench every week and several of them just used it before you. if it puts you off, work out at home.
- timing. it takes 20sec to do a set and then people sit on the bench for 2min, can easily work in with like 3 people and be fine with the timing. even if you do your set 20 sec later than when you were ready, it's not the end of the world.
- re-add weights. that's an extra work out. think of it as an exercise. you're at the gym to work out. most of the exercises that you do is bringing weights up and putting them down repetitively. so, this is the same stuff.
I don't mind cornering them. it's a public gym. I personally think it's worse manners to sit on a machine for 2-3 minutes doing nothing than go around ask people to work in.
"a lot of people like having the bench to themselves" yea a lot of people would prefer having the roads to themselves too but we all have places to be. Stop acting like a child
Yes, perfectly acceptable if you didn't tell the guys that you're waiting to be next. If you had told the guys that you want to be the next on the bench, when the guy approached, the bench guys would have told the guy that they were finishing but "a guy over there" (you) is waiting for it. Alternatively, if you saw the guy approaching to occupy a bench press, you could have told him that you were also waiting to jump in after the guys finished.
I couldn't avoid thinking that your "circumstance" is the peak of the 21st century, where because of your inability to communicate efficiently with other people, you believe that everyone should have telepathic abilities to take into account your wishes, and when they don't (which is the obvious outcome) you get offended and write on WSO/Twitter how inconsiderate some people are.
P.S. Surprised you didn't call this guy "toxic"
Lmao I was clearly waiting, when he came through I tapped him on the shoulder and told him just so you know I've been waiting. If you think it's okay to jump people in line who are waiting for machines or free weights you have no gym etiquette whatsoever. If he wanted to work in he should ask me who had next, not the other way around. I also don't think you know how awkward and obnoxious it would be for me to go up to all the different guys benching and tell them "just so you know I'll be waiting there for you to finish" or "Can I get next?" every single time the bench or a machine is taken. It just sounds weird like you're going to be standing there and staring, putting pressure on them for them to hurry up. No one likes to feel like they are making somebody else wait, especially on the bench where some people take long breaks between sets.
Also perhaps don't assume circumstances without asking first just so you can sit on your high horse and lecture me about my inability to communicate and the woes of the 21st century society as if you are morally superior. If anything you're the stereotype of the online virtue-signaller. "oh people and society these days"...
So now the fault is ours for not coming up with a 50-question list to clarify the circumstances of your 1 sentence story. You give us half of the story and if someone says that it's not socially acceptable then you're OK with that, but if someone else criticizes how you reacted, then you come up writing even more details about what happened to justify yourself. Nice.
Anyway, I'm going to the gym for 5 years now and I've never had those situations because I always let someone know that I would jump on the machine after he finished. Meanwhile I wait, I would go to do something else (not staying there staring at him as you exaggerated) such as activating auxiliary muscles or stretching. After all, I'm 100% convinced that if someone approaches him he would say that I'm waiting my turn and he'll understand. Even if someone had the guts to jump before me even though I'm waiting, I would explain to him politely to GTFO and if not, I would be more than ready to get into a fight (but most probably that would never happen because people who can fight are extremely humble and people who can't fight, after a small discussion, would leave the machine).
Also, throwing MS to anyone who said that the fault is yours or your question is autistic just reinforces my previous view of how offended you are by anything that the world has to say or does (such as what happened at the gym).
Depends how much you were both putting up. Can you add some detail there?
judging from his comments, dude prob doesn't want to work in because he'd have to take off 45 pound plates when the other guys is done with his set
I benched 260 pounds for reps that day. Didn't think it was relevant but since I am getting roasted on here there you go. I bench 4 times a week hence why I'm not constantly asking people to get next or work in because at that point I'd probably get a reputation of being pushy or irritating very fast. Other guy put up 135 pounds. If you want to be immature and try to make it an alpha vs beta thing fuck off.
People who ask to work in are self-absorbed assholes. But their victim isn't you, the guy who's waiting. Their victim is the guy using the bench who wants to be left alone.
So you don't really have a claim here, in terms of what's fair socially. There is no line for the bench. If you want to create your own line that doesn't previously exist, you should go the extra mile . . tell the dudes working out that you're next, and stand there patiently.
Bet I ask everyone, please stop asking if you can work in. We're all gonna say yes, because we hate awkwardness. But we don't want you to work in. We want to be left alone. So leave us the fuck alone and wait til the bench is free. If it's never free, talk to the manager about getting another bench. Don't bother your poor fellow members with your annoying needs.
I don't think you should have to tell the guys on the bench that you have next although you can. They don't decide who has next once they leave just because they are on the bench. Also having to do that to 3 different guys each time you bench (let's say you bench 4 times a week) is weird and irritating. You said yourself people don't want to be bothered at the gym. If I continually approached people like this I would be perceived as annoying. "yo can I get next" "yo can I get next" "yo can I get next" etc etc.
You should tell people who come and wait for the bench that you are next and that should be sufficient.
For the working in thing I understand some people don't like it but if you're taking 5 minute breaks between sets when the gym is cracking full then don't be too pissed if someone asks for a slot. You're also entitled to say no. Some people aren't reasonable with machines or benches. I have seen people hog a bench for 1 hour in a crowded gym with a long line chatting between sets and I think everyone in there wanted to blow their brains out.
all i meant was if you care about your place in line . . a line that doesn’t typically exist unless your gym is unique . . it’s on you to communicate that to whoever needs to know.
I assumed that’s the guys currently working out, since they’ll be the ones asked by others if someone’s using it next. But since you’re clearly standing there in a way others can see, fine, tell them. All I’m saying is it’s not a typically a line type of thing so you need to let ppl know through words or actions.
Anyways working in is stupid, if the gym is so crowded that people are constantly bugging others to work in, find a nicer gym where members aren’t so amateur.
"don't bother your poor fellow members with your annoying needs" like your annoying need to be the only person using a bench? You take breaks between sets right? What's wrong with someone else using it during your rest to maximize efficiency?
People mostly don’t like it. It’s annoying to have to think about timing your sets to someone else’s. When I’m alternating exercises I do any resting near the popular one (bench etc) and only go to the less popular one when its time for the set itself.
Huh? Lol this is some serious low energy behavior. The concept of not asking to work in has to be one of the most anti social finance dork behaviors I have heard promoted on this site.
Most anti-social ever on the site? I'm honored. If only there were year-end awards.
Um, so why didn’t you use your social skills to do the exact same thing OP? From your story, I’m just reading that another guy took initiative and utilized his interpersonal skills because he prioritizes his own time.
You think I don't have the social skills to ask to work in? I don't do it because I bench a lot and don't want to be pushy and ask to work in every single time so sometimes I just wait. Also people at my gym don't like sharing equipment as they sometimes say no, ask if I can wait a few more sets, or say yes reluctantly. If anything I'd be socially retarded if I went in and asked to work in every single time.
Also you can prioritize your own time not at the expense of people who have been waiting for longer than you for a piece of equipment.
Ladd, my two cents is that you really do need to be more assertive. You’re too “respectful” and thinking too much about the perception of your actions. You’re clearly a strong and respectful guy and your humility is admirable, but you need to stick up for yourself. In my opinion, the guy asking to work in did nothing wrong. If I was you, I’d ask to work in every time I need to bench, squat, whatever. I’m not waiting around in line to workout.
You honestly should've just asked to work in. I do it all the time at my local gym (ESPECIALLY when it's crowded) and nobody has ever had an issue with it, no matter the machine. If you want something, just ask for it. Instead of watching the bench from a distance like a creeper, the bare minimum you could've done was just go and ask the person on the bench "hey, do you mind if I get next after you?" This could've easily been done during one of your rest breaks.
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