new guy making Zyn tea for the bullpen, among other things... rant
Context: I work at a MM firm in a large southeastern city. M&A coverage group.
We recently hired a new analyst out of a big 4 accounting firm. He interviewed pretty well but is turning out to have some social "irregularities" if you want to call it that. Some examples:
-
Spent 3 hours on a Saturday decorating his desk with his wife. The desk is covered with lego models and pictures of his dogs. He also has one of those flip sign boards that display a different cheeky quote every day, like "Doing my best", "will work for Tacos", "I'm in a bad mood" etc. No judgment but that's not the culture we have - the firm is very aggressive, most desks are pretty bare or covered in printouts relating to deals we are working on.
-
Purchased two copies of Investment Banking for Dummies. Proceeded to leave one on his desk and told the rest of the bullpen to "feel free to reference if you want to improve your game!" He wasn't being arrogant, he was actually being sincere.
Unfortunately, he gave the second copy to the MD who he somehow had his first networking call with. To make matters worse, he gave it to the MD in front of the whole bullpen when the MD was heading to lunch, and spent a solid 2 minutes explaining how much this book had meant to him and how he wanted the MD to have it as a token of his appreciation. Again, not arrogant or ironic, just very, very out of touch.
- Took it upon himself to make spearmint Zyn tea for all the other analysts and associates. This was kind of the breaking point for me. seriously who tf does this? He made a point of giving each one of us a cup with a compliment about our clothes. Once more, in a very kind, yet awkward way.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I don't want to speak out of place, and an associate specifically told me not to talk to him about his behavior. My gut feelings is that the want him gone as soon as possible. Its just too weird to say nothing. So now I've said it. Peace.
That's what you get for hiring a Redditor from Big 4
Big 4 and TAS weenies are the weirdest dudes ever. They have the technical skills and the desire for prestige & money but are fundamentally different personalities than IBankers or Investors.
Zero swag, zero chutzpah, zero bitches. Who tf else walks around with Deloitte and KPMG stickers on their work computers and CamelBaks?
I just wanted to say the line "zero swag, zero chutzpah, zero bitches" is fucking beautiful and frankly the best thing i've read on this site in recent memory. Thank you
s
If this is a real story I seriously cannot believe that Lmfao. Dude has no awareness
i want zyn tea made for me in my office ngl
del
I love this so much, I wish I worked with him
This guy sounds dope, why you hating
Honestly if his work product is good sounds like a top G
Sounds better than some hardo loser from nyu or a psycho striver from Ohio state(willing to do anything) that permeate amongst all the bbs these days. Guy sounds way better.
A little socially awkward, sure, but if his product is fine who cares. Seems like he means well. Probably just not a great fit for your "aggressive" firm. I know conformity is valued highly by some in IB, but there's a difference between expecting one to fall in line when appropriate vs. expecting them to stifle any semblance of their unique self.
Please sense me application to this firm. Need to try zyn tea.
Just looked it up. Not the kind of zyn tea you are hoping to try, unfortunately.
That degree of happiness in a bullpen is legitimately unacceptable
Totally disagree. The oddballs sort of make analyst life ok.
Sounds like a chill guy to work with. I’d rather work with someone like that than be around obsessive sycophants whose sole purpose in life is investment banking for 80+ hours a week.
The first 2 things, though weird, are relatively harmless. Zyn tea thing is kinda weird. All of this stuff isn't job related but yes super weird overall ......
Youre a hater
Dude can play on my team any day. Sounds alpha as fk and not concerned with the usual fake bravado that is ripe in IB.
I think you mean "rife in IB", not ripe.
I mean its pretty ripe too
100% he likes to watch and his wife was there to scout their next houseguest.
Recommended hire.
I just can't believe that the Zyn tea is a true story; if true what a Dime this guy is. I feel that cinnamon flavor for Zyn would have been a better choice than the spearmint.
what lego models? i miss those. bought a massive several k piece one to build with wifey but its tough with 2 kids.
I have this one on my desk at home, I really like the Lego architecture series.
Send him over to Citi, we'd love to have him. Fuck your "aggressive" firm.
Dude works at citi
Dude works at citi
Dude works at citi
Dude works at citi
Dude works at citi
Bro sounds absolutely electric. If you’re gonna hate on him can we at least get some insight on the Legos? What inspired him to make zyn tea? Is this a pre-IB invention he thought of?
Sounds like Truist
Watch out for the tickle monster! He’ll get yah!
Sounds like you need the ‘I’m in a bad mood’ sign for your desk. Take a sip of Zyn tea (as a side note I cannot believe this is a real thing) and chill out
its not nic
Lmaoooo that is hilarious bro
lmao if this is not a troll and real i think this encapsulates the culture of IB. saw some other threads this week asking why the culture of IB is the way it is. this is why. people will take it on the chin with a goofy smile even when they get brutalized nonstop by psychotic seniors and mid level bankers. But a new co-worker making them tea and trying to be nice? No No No, we cannot allow that. the culture is so bad that someone who is just nice is outcasted as a weirdo. lol just lol.
In all fairness, giving his MD that book is a sign of horrible social IQ
These posts kill me, I lol'd. 10/10 shitpost.
Does he have autism/aspergers by any chance? I'm not asking in an ironic way, but I've encountered some people with autism/aspergers who were quite smart but painfully awkward at the same time, like they totally lacked self-awareness and even after 1:1 discussions about their strange behaviour, they still couldn't understand the problem. And in case he's neurodivergent, I'm not sure if your company can freely fire him (not sure how it works in the US but in other parts of the world there are some disability laws that make it more difficult for such people to get fired)
lmfao fire him for decorating his desk and making the bullpen tea?!?!? jfc you people
This is such an interesting situation - here we have a good natured but "marches to the beat of his own drum" guy with a loving family who is now working in the single most conformist, vanilla, hierarchical, and sterile industry on earth.
At 90% of firms he would be viewed as a weirdo and a dangerous deviant for his way of operating - how dare you not be sterile and boring and completely generic every possible way? The only way you're allowed to be "interesting" in finance is by reading the same pseudo intellectual books (eg: "Sapiens"), vacationing in the same generic ass "adventurous" places (eg: Croatia or Portugal at best), and, maybe just maybe if you're feeling wild, wearing fun colored socks. After a few years in this industry, you can guess with 99% accuracy literally every aspect of most mid to senior level people's lives - from their favorite foods to vacation spots to way of dressing to opinions on any subject. Everyone is in a constant rat race to end up as the most "pure" version of the exact same template "successful" person with all the right hobbies, interests, opinions, tastes, way of dressing, haircuts, and desires.
Outside of finance in corporate, (assuming he was easy to work with and competent) he would be viewed as kind of quirky and fun and beloved. There's always the one kind of weird guy but no one really cares as long as he's nice, competent, easy to work with, and gets his shit done.
Everyone in finance talks about how corporate jobs are boring and soulless. But in reality there is far more room for self expression and being an interesting person outside of the industry, if only because the 9-5 means that folks have more time and space to develop an individual personality outside of work.
I feel bad for this guy - he's clearly well intentioned and he's about to get all his enthusiasm and individuality kicked out of him if he lasts at OP's firm for too long. I hope he finds a culture where he is appreciated and allowed to be himself.
Well written.
he seems like such a nice guy, i hope for his sake he gets a nice strategy/corp dev role at a sane company ASAP
Great take
Every single time I try to plan a trip with co-workers, the same five "off the map" locations are mentioned:
Tea, you say…
cook something up and let us know how it tastes
Why not kinda lean into it and have fun with him without being cruel? Ask what other stimulant recipes he has.
Mere case of good intentions, not the best execution ? In the case of the tea at least.
May need some time to adjust in with the team quickly - honestly seems like a good dude in my eyes.
Can you share his tea recipe? Been using 3mg zyns but think it’s time I kicked up to 6
Zyn tea =/= nicotine zyns fwiw.
My concern would be that he’d act weird in front of clients. If he’s demonstrated tact and competence in client interactions, there is no reason to fire him. My experience with eccentric people is that when it counts, they act appropriately. This is only true if their eccentricity doesn’t overlap with true craziness. Based on what you’ve written, the one thing that sticks out is the IB for Dummies gift to an MD. That it is pretty insane but if you’ve changed some detail on the actual book for comedic purposes, then it’s not that crazy, even if the title was Intro to Valuation or whatever.
I actually envy people like him. They don't give a FUCK what others think, they're just authentically themselves
He's probably in the wrong industry, but I still respect him
Leave him alone bruh
You need to get laid bud
Can anyone confirm the Zyn tea please? Don’t want to waste my can
just googled it—nicotine tea i think
The fall of IB. Pre-2008 days are long gone
You need 1x hilariously socially oblivious person in every work group.
It makes work way more entertaining.
Sounds like he has more personality than the entire firm combined
Out of touch for sure, but also in a totally harmless way. If his work product is good and he pulls his weight then why care? The guy is trying to be nice to people at his new job. Would 100% rather work with a guy like that than a bunch of toxic hardos. Sounds to me like your "aggressive culture" doesn't deserve a guy like that.
If his work is good then honestly a senior should just sit down with him, telling him that they appreciate his efforts to be nice to everyone in the team but that he might want to trim down the efforts a bit to fit in better with the team.
>the firm is very aggressive
You're not some Navy SEAL my guy, settle down. Go aggressively center some logos.
Can the new guy do the work? If so, it sounds like you're trying to get rid of him because he's kind of corny and that endangers your teams fantasy of being some sort of special forces operators.
He sounds like an overall very nice and sincere guy. Have you considered the fact that you're just a bully? Yep, a common schoolyard bully that should have outgrown this phase a decade+ ago.
Now I understand the purpose of summer internships
This is 100% Truist.
What even is an "aggressive" firm besides codeword for toxic... Honestly while this guy has a few quirks, nothing seemed like an issue besides giving a IB for dummies guide to an MD which is frankly hilarious.
Every IB has a few weird people, you kind of have to be to put up with these hours and stress for very minor things, These kind of people are what I imagine you smile back when thinking about a few years down the line. PS: if someone making you free tea is your breaking point, that is concerning in isolation
For real. I laughed when I read that, assuming this isn't a troll. Out of all the things in the world, someone making you zyn tea is the straw that broke the camel's back.
Can I be hired to work with this man?
God this guy sounds like the perfect troll. It's been ages since I worked with one. Brings back fond memories.
Would brighten office atmosphere to have more individualistic people
I relate to him more than typical M/A professionals, but my firm is fun. I keep a skateboard tucked under my desk and my colleagues and I ride around the office when the big boys are out.
He sounds a little corny, but get over it and get over yourself. You aren’t as cool or impressive as you think- I promise :)
This guy sounds great. I love strange people.
Would be great to have more people like this in my office. Who cares about being a cookie cutter drone
Why are you so mean
The tea and the decorations are fine, good for him. But giving a generalized, introductory book that is literally titled "for dummies" to people with decades of experience is so fucking embarrassing.
If this guy produces good work, so be it. I know you young lemmings don’t get it now, but it’s super refreshing to work with people who are similarly intellectually capable yet unique. The whole models and bottles attitude and measuring dicks for the sake of trash talking gets old quick. And I bet he’s getting far more action than you guys from a woman that actually likes him as a person.
But in all seriousness, don’t pile on making fun of him gossiping with your colleagues. This is a good time to be mature and take a leadership position to say “I know he’s got some quirks, but he’s clearly super grateful for opportunity… let’s see what he’s made off work-wise. If he can work his tail off, he good in my book.” Stuff like this can help distinguish you from analyst/assoc material vs VP and above.
Bullish Zyn Tea Emerging Market
In my group, we have an analyst who is always bring donut snack into office every month. He has done this since completed his analyst training.
Would love to be friends with this guy.
Anyway, how did the MD react?
>complaining about free zyn
Zyn tea lmfaooooo fuck I wish I had this guy at my firm, it'd keep shit interesting
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