Parents Don’t Understand the Grind
Went home for the holidays and have heard nothing but constant nagging from my parents.
Since coming home, I’ve been locked in for IB, sending dozens of emails, brushing up on my technicals, and doing mock interviews with my friends. My parents noticed this, and instead of acknowledging my dedication or supporting me, they’ve been complaining about how I’m more distant. I told them I would spend as much time with them as they want once I was done recruiting, but they didn’t listen. I was able to keep my composure initially, but I found it annoying that they were dismissing my ambitions.
During our Christmas dinner, my parents were lecturing me on how I should be relaxing and spending all this time with them, which made me snap. They don’t understand the recruiting landscape for IB, and they thought they were qualified to give me advice and tell me to take it easy.
I guess the journey to the top is a lonely one. Any ideas on how I can approach the situation and get them to finally understand?
You aren’t in a role yet? Many analysts in IB would love to spend more time with their families over the holidays. No recruiter is answering emails from the 24-25. You should’ve put the work down and continued after Christmas. You will miss that time when you no longer have the option.
Just wanted to get ahead of the competition while I still can. Parents said the same thing, but I can easily chill and spend time with them for the next ~2 years when I get the offer.
If you still feel unprepared after prepping the other 364 days this year you need to work on time management rather than technicals.
If I got an email from you on Christmas Eve or Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter, not only would I not respond to you, but I'd think you're an idiot when no one wants to read emails or talk about work then. Just schedule emails to be sent after.
don't listen to this man. hes not a true hardo like us #sigmamalegrindset
Honestly your parents are right man. I get that it’s a grind, and that you want to put in as much effort as you can, but some of these days you’ll miss after graduation. If you make it into IB you’re prone to being distant then (or at least will not have any control over your time during the holidays), whereas now you do. Take these 2-3 days off. Spend and enjoy the time with your family. Talk to them about your ambitions, and show them why / what you are doing this for. There are 363 other days in the year (-nye perhaps), where - if you wanted to - you can work on recruitment. Either way, it’s your life and your decision, but to answer your question: There’s no need to work hard on the holidays - plenty of other days throughout the year to take care of business. Good luck.
How can I achieve what others also want? Do what they’re too uncomfortable to do.
I’ve tried telling my parents that I’m working towards financial security, but they just say I’m money hungry. I’ll try explaining myself from the exit opps/prestige angle, and hopefully they’ll understand.
Don't worry bro your parents are boomers who don't understand that you need to be in high finance to even hope to be middle-class these days. Just focus on the grind.
Do what they’re too uncomfortable to do does not mean studying on Christmas morning.
It means establishing habits during your normal course of life that others won’t, such as waking up at 7:00am for instance, and adding 30-60min of studying technicals to your morning routine. Or updating your out-reach tracker. Or prepping for a networking call. You name it. So that by the time your first class starts (say 10am), you’re already ahead.
It’s to carve out time, when others won’t. That doesn’t have to be during the holidays.
Also in regards to your parents, try to come up with a real reason for IB. They just want what’s good for you, and should be supporting you along the way, as long as you explain to them the why, and bring them along during your pursuit.
being in ib does not make you better than other people or superior to those around you. get off your high horse and learn to value those around you. if you can't learn to juggle being present with your family during the holidays when you aren't even in an ib role yet and you're just prepping, maybe you're not built for a high-stress long-hours industry. someday you will wish you had spent the time with them. just my two cents.
Never said or implied that I was better than my parents. Just said that I wished they understood what I’m going through instead of dismissing my goals. And I spent the past two decades with them, one year isn’t gonna hurt.
As someone further down the line from you, if you’re able to get an IB job, it won’t be because you spent Christmas Eve doing mock interviews and checking email Christmas Day. If I had ever received a networking email any later than the 22nd then there’s no chance I’d respond - you come off as a super hardo and desperate and that’s a bad look. NO ONE wants to work on/around a major holiday and though it happens (I worked on Christmas, TG, NYE, NYD, 4th, Easter, etc. in IB), the last thing an overworked analyst or associate wants to see is a note from some ass-sniffing kid asking for a call.
Life will only accelerate from here - job, second job, GF, illness, engagement, marriage, mortgage, kids, family/friend deaths, kid sickness, you or your wife sick, job stress, etc. If at the age of 19-20 you’re already panicking about taking off a few days to slow down, be around family, and appreciate the blessings you’ve been given then that’s incredibly sad dude.
It sounds like your folks love you. They could be out shopping tomorrow and get hit by a truck and you might never get to see them again. Or your dad could be taking down the lights and slip and fall and break his neck and you’ll be left asking yourself why you didn’t just take a few days to hang out. Just stop for a day or two, enjoy those close by and trust that those extra emails and mock interviews aren’t the difference in you getting the job and not getting it. Either you’re at the right school, have a good GPA, in the right clubs, know the right people, etc and you’re a shoe in or you do need to work hard to create the opportunity to even get an interview - in either case it’s still not going to impacted by spending time with the people they care about you.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, I really appreciate it. But unfortunately for me, I’m not in the right clubs and and I don’t know the right people, so I have to work 100x harder than my peers just to get a shot at the same opportunities.
Your comment has given me a new perspective though, and I do regret yelling at my parents and not apologizing. Happy holidays, and thanks for the advice.
More rage bait from this kid lol this one’s less subtle.
Is everything I say just rage bait to you? You’re odd.
Remember that post asking why IB has become nerdy? Go tell your mom you love her, and go touch some grass (or snow).
You people are funny. One minute you tell me to work harder and do what others won’t if I want to stand out, and when I actually do that, I get told to touch grass. Strange. It’s like people will hate on you no matter what you try to do.
lowest quality rage bait I've seen in a while. In the very slim case this is actually real, nobody is gonna chat you during Christmas day of all times lmfao.
I know people won’t chat me on Christmas day, thanks for the obvious advice. “Sending emails” as in I’ve sent emails last week and I’m schedule sending emails this week.
Tism alert 🚨
Sorry I have the dedication you lack. Instead of projecting your insecurities onto me, you should begin to look inwards.
Thanks for the advice prospective intern. Will certainly bring it to my already developed career in private equity lol
I thought "the grind" meant working, not applying.
Yeah, I’m working towards my dream. Would you also dismiss entrepreneurs who just started their business and are grinding? Would you dismiss law students who are studying because they haven’t worked yet?
I’m not dismissing your hard work, just thought the verbiage was off.
Dude who fucking cares? Why are we all reading about it?
Then why leave a comment smart ass?
NGL saying journey to the top is a lonely one for Big 5 Toronto SA recruiting is kinda wild LOL. Idk man I went to a worse school, no connections, no clubs, and still managed to land an EB FT without having to do all this extra shit. It's just an internship bro not that deep. If you are gonna give everything up at least make the target worthwhile.
Congrats man, I’m happy for you, but there’s no need to put others down to up lift yourself. For you, big 5 might seem like nothing but it means a lot to me; we’re all on different paths.
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