Patek vs. Charity: GF Threatening to Break Up, Need Perspective
Been grinding hard, saving for years, and finally hit the goal to cop a Patek (always been the dream). Now my girlfriend is flipping out, saying I should drop the cash on charity instead. Like, I get it—people are struggling—but I’ve worked insane hours to get here. Feels like I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor, no?
Now she’s saying if I go through with the watch, she’s out. Claims I’m selfish and out of touch, but honestly, I don’t even know if charity money actually makes a difference. Plus, isn’t this kind of an investment? These things hold value, and I’m not exactly blowing it on bottle service or something dumb.
Am I in the wrong here? Anyone else been in a situation like this? I feel like I’m losing it trying to reconcile treating myself with her guilt-tripping me.
Find another girlfriend.
may (jokingly) have to revise my first comment. this guy was a summer analyst 6 months ago.
why the fuck are you buying at patek when your linkedin bio still says "incoming investment banking analyst at..."
Like bro, maybe ur girl is right
She's a leftist and shit-testing you. I don't even understand why you're asking on WSO, you should have shut her down the second she formulated that thought. This is your hard-earned cash, go buy yourself a nice watch. This isn't even a question of whether a Patek is an investment or not - this is your money, so spend it on what YOU want. If she wants to give to charity so bad, tell her to do it on her own dime. You absolutely cannot let that shit fly, it's a question of honor and setting strict boundaries. You're the man in the relationship, she should not even dare to question what you do with your money. If you give in now, next time she's going to ask you to have an open relationship.
Seconding this.
That first sentence is quite the generalization.
.
The second you start letting her tell you what to do with your hard-earned & saved money is the second your balls fall off and you throw out your self-respect. The idea of saving up for years and finally reaching your goal just to give it away to some random charity (that's what it is if it's not something you were actively thinking about) just because your GF is irrationally pissy is fucking retarded. Get the watch on your wrist and give her the gift of the street. She can be some other sucker's charity case.
without knowing anything....big RED FLAG.
That is selfish of her to give you an ultimatum with what to do with your money. It will only get worse.
I am recommending you but the watch.
You were a summer intern 6 months ago and you’re buying a Patek now? Why?
Dump her first and then get the patek.
I always wonder if these posts are high level trolling similar to what I do here and on Reddit. But this is such a funny and interesting dilemma, I’ll assume it’s real and you’re just a young kid who doesn’t have a fatherly figure to guide him.
You worked hard for your money, and since you mention you’ve never made one extravagant purchase before, there’s nothing wrong with getting a great watch. You mention that watches can hold value, but I wouldn’t consider that a reason to get the watch. You could damage it or lose it, etc.
I hate spending money and never buy anything super nice typically. When I want to waste my money, it’s not on jewelry or clothes for myself, it’s typically gambling or luxury meals. But I was once gifted a 50k watch, and it still brings me lots of pleasure to wear it. For someone who’s actually coveted a great watch, I’m sure you’ll get even more pleasure wearing it.
So the first point is that it’s your money and life is short and depriving yourself when you’ve earned a reward is borderline retarded.
Second point, is charity itself. Do you know how inefficient giving to charities are? Half are scams outright. Like literally scams. The one charity I always liked was wounded warriors, and then it came out it was a scam and the executives were stealing most of the money. And the other half that are not scams are so inefficient with the money and lose most of it to middle men. To me, giving money directly to a charity is like lighting cash on fire. If you truly want to perform acts of charity, donate food or your time.
Also, you earn a lot. Do you pay your taxes? I imagine if you’re a finance professional in New York, your effective tax rate is or will soon be close to 50%. That’s freaking charity right there. The super rich, corporations and the super poor certainly don’t pay their fair share. People like me and you are the only ones paying proper tax, so remember that. Earning alot and being honest on your taxes is enough charity in my opinion.
Final point should be obvious. Sounds like you are dating a “woke” woman. What I mean is, someone who likes crusading for justice and railing on the evils of society, while sipping cocktails and eating sushi.
She thinks buying jewelry is bad? Your money should be given away? Then why exactly is she even dating a banker? Why isn’t she overseas on the peace corps dating a villager?
Unless you’re a fat nerd who didn’t get any in high school and she’s hot, the woman you’ve chosen to date makes little sense to me. You need to ask yourself if being single is really that scary that you’ve felt the need to date someone who would threaten to dump you over a watch lol.
You were a fatty in high school weren’t you? And she’s the first girl you slept with you right? Be honest.
Exactly. Why date a banker and enjoy the fruits of our labour then treat us like this. Hypocrisy.
Mods really deleting comments over the word r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d now...
She's irrational and naive thinking that giving away money to some random charity is somehow more respectable than saving up for years to buy something that's cool/important to you, not to mention like the above posted said sounds like she's just a stereotypical leftist chick that's shit testing you. Don't put up with it. Never let a GF tell you how to spend your money (wife is a different matter, esp if you had kids), and certainly don't let her dictate that you give it away like some chump. Get yourself the watch and give her the gift of the street. If you've got a Patek I'm sure you won't have trouble finding a hotter, less obstinate one.
how about you guys compromise? donate the money to me and i'll buy a patek with it
How much $$$ are we talking about here for the Patek - which model are you thinking of buying?
It's a Patek. I 'd be surprised if it's less than $30k.
you should tell her you’re getting this one - also the name “Grand Complications” is quite fitting to your situation haha
When did this site become 99% fanfiction?
I would avoid the trap of justifying directing money one way or the other. Your hard work, your choice, your reward.
You should initiate the breakup. This is a huge red flag and will only get worse. This is your money that you earned, you can choose to spend it how you want.
Virtue signaling with other people's money is not it, and is a huge character flaw.
90%+ of the proceeds that most charities recieve go to paying a bunch of people to raise more money. Tell her that charities are more of a scam than even the government is.
You've got to know your charity, it's possibly more effort than researching the Patek. Veterans charities are notoriously scams because of this. Who wouldn't just want to give to veterans? I only give to my high school because I got a full ride, and I know their finances. (I get quarterly reports) When we were getting bought and closing down the donation fund I managed to pull them $42k with the matching gift. I was the #2 guy who graduated this century behind a guy coasting on his wife's money. He only works one night a week, and decided to blow a lot of it on a 60 year old bright orange boat he bought one night while stoned with a friend.
Instead of giving to charity, give $300K to that dude’s girlfriend who lost all her money on crypto futures.
Big brain time
You're a gentleman and a scholar
Homeboy is dating Peter Singer hahaha
Tell her you're sorry, you love her, you don't want to argue, and that you will go buy her a birkin or Kelly rose instead, whatever she wants.
Then when she hugs you, kisses you, goes down on you, finishes giving you A*** (remember to go ass to mouth), finally let go, laugh in her face, call her a stupid hypocritical B**** then break up with her and throw all her stuff out.
Ask her how big of a real diamond ring she wants or if she is ok with having a fake one and donating that money to charity.
Hit her with the
This is just a revelation of clear value misalignment. The fact is that most charities literally light money on fire at the altar of joyful retardation and self congratulation. Buy the watch man, you earned it. Dump her and tell her to go volunteer if she cares so much.
Buy the watch. Red flag on the relationship.
Your money, your decision.
---end---
It would be one thing if she was questioning the expense. But to waste it on something that provides zero value to the OP is a seriously questionable thought process.
Dump her first… then donate the money to charity.
Jk, do what you think is best in this scenario. It’s your money.
She's doing this the completely wrong way.....
My wife and I figure out how much we want to donate to charity at the beginning of every year. Then, over the year, we make contributions as reasons to do so pop up as they always do. Often, we start the year with a few that we know we'll make for sure.
If at the end of the year, we haven't donated our number but we want to buy a Patek, yeah we're kind of assholes as the plan for the money was charity. However, to demand someone make an unplanned large charitable donation over buying something, is a bit psycho.
Maybe, try our way of doing it. Tell her that you've really wanted this for a long time but you're right that you should be giving more to charity and let's think of a reasonable budget to do so in a sustainable way next year while also not living like hermits in a monastary.
Unlike many of the comments above, I think that how you look at the world, life, money and charity is an important conversation for a couple to have, particularly if you're thinking about moving to the next stage and getting married, but her approach is just terrible.
I’m actually kinda shocked by the responses here. Your girlfriend is absolutely right, and you should never let go of her. Seems like she’s the only thing keeping you remotely grounded. The point is not that you don’t deserve hard earned money, but that you’d be so materialistic with it to buy one of the fanciest watches. A potential compromise is to buy a less expensive but nice watch and donate the rest to charity (I guarantee that if you donate to a soup kitchen, real hungry people eat dinner that night). Just my two cents
As I noted above, while I agree that you should be giving to charity, it's a conversation that you need to have ahead of time as a couple.
One issue here is where do you draw the line - you need to agree together. As Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎 noted, would she feel the same way about her engagement ring? What about getting an apartment in NYC? Should you rent a tiny studio forever and donate the difference of an extra bedroom to charity?
Also, you can really take it down another notch available to anyone. Should you have spent $25 dollars for lunch today or should you have packed a sandwich and given $20 to starving people in Africa. While getting a Patek versus charity seems like an easier contrast of options to judge (and conveniently one most of us can't afford), the moral conundrum is really not all the different if we are talking about starving people versus us grabbing an unnecessary $25 lunch at a restaurant.
The point I think you’re missing is that each of the other expenses you mentioned is within the realm of a normal expense. By no means is buying a Patek anywhere near the realm of a normal expense. In my opinion it typically screams materialistic and shallow. It’s absolutely you’re right to spend your money on whatever you desire, but you absolutely should lose your girlfriend over it if she’s real and genuine, because evidently you’re not
This seems like an unfair comparison. Buying one of the most expensive watch brands is hardly comparable to a couple extra bucks on lunch.
And for what it's worth, the problem isn't even that OP wants an expensive watch instead of donating his savings. He's perfectly within his rights to spend it on himself. The problem is that his GF is telling him something important about her values and he can't get his head out of his ass to understand that. If he's going to prioritize purchasing expensive luxury goods when she wants to live a more restrained lifestyle and help others, that's simply not a viable relationship.
As I said elsewhere, the entire thread of comments is doubly amusing because of how many people are shitting on the GF, despite the fact that it feels like every week we have a post about how there are no decent women to date and everyone is a gold digger or is too career oriented or whatever. Guys are on here agreeing that the GF can go stuff it, OP should buy the expensive watch, that it's his money and he should spend it how he wants, and don't see that maybe the attitude of prioritizing conspicuous consumption is the reason they only ever meet women who also only care about conspicuous consumption...
bottom bucket vibes detected
Listen to ur gf
Money isnt everything and the relationship worth far more than any watch u could buy (especially if this is your only problem in the relationship)
found the gf
GFs are replaceable, Patek’s are not! You should’ve stuck with the side chick
"You never actually own a Patek Philippe, you merely look after it for the next generation."
I believe that's a form of charity.
dead aid - dambisa moyo, bro
Boring ragebait.
If u gotta save to buy a patek- you cant afford a patek. Get tons of other watches in the 10-40k range that are also cool and not overplayed. If u dont have generational wealth or have acquired the funds working for someone else, you shouldn't buy one. It is a status symbol reserved for the world's elite, who were either born into it or have made so much generational wealth that it is merely a trinket to them.
1. I'd prioritize getting ETFs, not watches, but that's just me
2. If she's threatening to leave at an early stage, I'd dig into the rationale more. Does her value match yours? Is she tryin to help you or sabatoge you here?
3. If anyone threatens to walk, maybe it's not a fit and you should cut loss anyway.
We have one that pays a 5% yield from companies that don't pay dividends, because they're so sh!tty lending income is that high. The 88% drawdown on it was brutal though. My point is that an ETF is a vehicle structure, not an investment, so know what you own.
posts like these are turning this site into Reddit. lmao at Smokefrog's post, go read it.
p.s: donate your Patek and gf to me, solves both problems.
Dump the girl and get the watch. She has 0 right to dictate what you do with your money
Buy the Patek but make sure it goes up in value over time
Who cares about the chick which PP are you buying?
If you cave to her ridiculous demand, she'll be out soon enough. Buy the watch without apologies and see what happens.
“Your money is our money but my money is my money” type goofy ahh shi
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