Positive Self Talk?

Curious if anyone has any experience with any habitual practice of positive self talk and can speak to their experiences. I struggle with confidence, and I know that a big part of that is because my self talk is neutral or negative. I know that this is touted as an incredibly valuable tool for self development, but I'd love to hear from folks here about any resources and experiences. 


Thanks! 

 

I think the most important thing you can remind yourself on a regular basis is that nobody really cares about you or is paying attention to the way in which you carry on. That's been more effective for me in getting over bouts of social anxiety than any sort of positive self talk ever has. 

 

I always start my mornings off appreciating everything I have. That’s important because it puts things in perspective. not sure about your situation, but if you’re an Associate in Corpfin working in the US, you’re probably better off than 98% of people on this planet. Also, make sure to cut negative people from your life, it helps more than you would think. Being grateful helps you to refrain from worrying about how shitty you think your life is.

Also, confidence in general, is keeping and following through on the promises youve made to yourself. If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, you better do it because if you don’t it will subconsciously make you feel like a pussy. Confidence is also rooted in discipline. Make sure you are on your shit don’t be a slacker.

In terms of positivity, don’t be too hard on yourself. People get down on themselves way too much and it does not help at all. Appreciate how far you’ve come and use that to keep moving forward and stay positive. I always say the words “what would I gain from being negative right now”. Negativity is toxic af. At the end of the day though, no few words will help your confidence much. It’s a combination of things that you do to help you belief in yourself completely.

 

In my experience the healthy way to look at positive thinking is that you train your brain to manage your thoughts/inner voice.

I love this quote from Seneca: Man is affected not by events but by the view he takes of them.

I tended to irritated rather quickly by people and beat myself up if something didn't work out the way i wanted it to which affected my confidence sometimes.

Some recources I found helpfull to gain some perspective on these subjects and actionable advice:

- Meditations by marcus aurelius

- Stoicism and the Art of Happiness by donald robertson

- Practising stoic by farnsworth

- The gap and the gain by Benjamin Hardy

- What to say when you talk to yourself by helmshetter

- Naval ravikant on happiness (youtube)

Hope this helps

 

Confidence comes from within. From an appreciation of your soul and who you are at the very inner core. Try to feel that appreciation for who you are because that is the value you bring to the world. We all are incredibly valuable if we amplify our positive attributes and bring them forward. If you find you can't feel that appreciation for your soul, that's a good place to start. Begin reflecting on all of the positive things you've brought forward in the past and try to really feel that appreciation.Another thing that's helped me in my adolescent years and still is a rule I follow for the most part these days, even if it may lead to embarrassment, is if you feel you want to speak up (whether it be to say hello to good looking woman next to you or in a professional setting) just do it. Don't be a lunatic but as soon as you feel the slightest nerves or hesitation, cut that hesitation short and interject. Now at first your landings might be a bit rough and what you say may not be as affective if you were in flow state but that's not the point when you're just getting started. The point is to create and condition that confidence muscle that speaking up becomes natural. Slowly you will build and build and before you know it, you'll start to notice people noticing you just by the way you walk and talk. That's your reward. And by the way, every human goes through this stage (I believe) in their life. Some earlier than others but we all do. And sometimes we fall off due to having to adjust to covid and everything being on a webcam or whatever it may be but we get back on the wagon and keep the wheel spinning. You'll get there. Don't be scared.

 

its dumb yuppie talk don't waste your time on this new age shit

see challenge -> prepare -> execute plan -> fail -> repeat and eventually succeed = confidence 

if you can't find a way or are too pussy to face the challenge remember that to be timid is to die a death by thousand cuts 

 

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