Settling Into College
I'm majoring in Maths at a target in Europe, started a month ago.
I'm struggling to fit in at college. I miss my friends and family from home, and I miss the more quiet nature of my home town. I don't enjoy clubbing, and that's pretty much formed the basis of the first few weeks. I feel like I'm only 'friends' with people because we are at the same institution and I would never contact them if we don't meet again. I've been having eating problems since starting, and am suspecting it's to do with this.
I don't like the university teaching style (glorified slide show on a cinema screen) and have a very 'uncomfortable' timetable.
I've noticed I don't really know who I am. I am naturally more introverted, but enjoy spending time with my friends and working with others on projects. But when talking with others I just don't feel like I can relate much to what they are saying.
Is it normal to feel like this at this stage? I would have thought a month would have been enough to 'settle in', but currently, I really want to move home and either just watch lectures online (and chill with my hometown friends) or drop out entirely and work.
Sounds really boring, bruh. I think you should frequently tell yourself: "self, do something badass." And then do it. You sound very blah with your life. Maybe smoke some 420 to help with the appetite. Study interesting things at an institution you love. Make big moves in the gym or at a martial arts training center. Get a 4.0, get good internships. Realize where you want to go and how to get there.
I do go to the gym, train BJJ and play basketball. I'm pretty sure I do enjoy my course, but perhaps too much. I have self-taught lots of my degree already and feel strange studying in my room when everyone is so active.
Do you suggest doing said badass stuff by myself or with buddies?
BJJ is badass. Basketball is cool too. You seem to be doing the right things, you could have a chemical imbalance in your brain and might think about seeing a psychiatrist. Also, chasing tail is a big part of college.
You sound like Liam Neeson from The Last Three Days
I think you’re hesitating to leave your comfort zone and it sounds like you’re shutting down due to being forced to with your move.
I believe you will strongly regret being how you currently are in the future. No freshman is college knows who they are or what their “mission” in life is.
I relate to you because i had no friends at my university and wasn’t huge into partying or clubbing. If I were you I’d join student organizations. This will help you meet and interact with more people whom you’ll see often to develop a friendship with or to create your network. You can also learn about more prospective career outcomes which can assist u in finding what you’re passionate about and what internships you should search for.
Also do any social events your school hosts, there are always a decent amount of freshman events. It might be hard to put yourself out there but your future self will regret it deeply if you do not.
Like Isaiah said as well, make sure to keep ur grades up and continue to professionally develop, however it sounds like your issue is strictly social and being too shy, introverted and afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
TLDR: Join student orgs, stay healthy, go to school events, get good grades, get out of your comfort zone and go find out who you are.
Best of luck sir,
Cheers
Thank you very much for the advice.
Regarding 'leaving my comfort zone', how far should I take it? I have gone out to around half of the clubbing events because friends are going, but usually get bored (even when sloshed) and leave lowkey. I don't know if I want to keep it up, not necessarily from a social point of view, but from a health / education point of view (waking up with 2 hours of sleep hangover).
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