The Imaginary Hedge Fund

Wouldn't it be great if we could go back to being kids? Or at least, if we could bring the wild imaginations we all had. You remember how it was. Picking up a water gun made you a cop, a blanket around your neck made you a superhero and some chocolate smeared all over your grill qualified you for the toilet inspector, but all of that changed. You grew up.

Luckily, some people are still dreaming big. A great example is our buddy, John Mattera, the Fort Lauderdale man who ran a fake hedge fund. John is proof that Democracy still exists in America and that you don't need to be a Wall Street insider to Madoff the shit out of people.

John had a great strategy. He sold Groupon and Facebook IPO promises, while not having any access to them. It was a wonderful concept. Like selling real estate on the moon, or constellations for naming rights.

The problem is when you spend all of your investors' dollars on a luxurious lifestyle the Feds tend to notice. At least John used some of his bilked loot to pay off some taxes of his own and even settle a law suit.

When I see stories like this I don't who to blame or who to laugh at. Obviously, if you gave money to this jackass you are a bigger one than he is. On the same token, conceptually speaking: did John Mattera really do anything different than what so many legitimate financial institutions do on a daily basis.

John Corzine will soon be perfunctorily questioned and dismissed by his boys in D.C. Though Corzine's robbery was not self serving and can be attributed to well meaning incompetence, isn't this the same sphere?

Should intent really be the overriding factor?

The paper trail of Mattera's clients will be far easier to find and they themselves are the only victims. Corzine, on the other hand is going to walk away having fucked millions of people indirectly. In the end, they are both messy chocolate eating children to me. The only difference is that John Mattera has the decency to take of his draws, whoop like a choo-choo train and loudly yell:

"I eat this kind of shit up!"

While Corzine and the real crooks wipe their face and get a pardon.