What Are the Most Important Ratios to Use When Valuing a Girlfriend?

I have spent all my life plugging numbers in excel and have recently gotten my ting-ting touched by a real life potential gf. I #REF’d myself early and need to be better prepared next time. How shall I value this specimen to be more prepared next time?

30 Comments
 
Most Helpful

I tend to use the standard ifhappy= function. No need to boil the ocean.

If we're talking wife material, use the full suite of valuation options: 

  • DCF projecting cash flows for 5-10 years and NPV inheritance - certain considerations include streaming services paid for, memberships to country/social clubs, etc.
  • Precedents: her Mom
  • Comps: her friends/sorority sisters - multiples are on you
  • LBO if you're looking for an exit, otherwise a waste of time
 

I tend to use the standard ifhappy= function. No need to boil the ocean.

If we're talking wife material, use the full suite of valuation options: 

  • DCF projecting cash flows for 5-10 years and NPV inheritance - certain considerations include streaming services paid for, memberships to country/social clubs, etc.
  • Precedents: her Mom
  • Comps: her friends/sorority sisters - multiples are on you
  • LBO if you're looking for an exit, otherwise a waste of time

This is pretty comprehensive. Include div BJ recaps to juice happiness prior to an exit. It's a better return if you consider time value of BJs vs. just getting one massive BJ all at the end when you exit.

 

BumbleBee45

not ratios but

- is she pleasant to be around

- do you think you can trust her long-term

- is she healthy/pursues healthy habits (not overweight, doesn't smoke cigs)

- will she be a good parent

- is she attractive to you

- does she put out for you

if she meets 5/6 she's a keeper

Miss me with that gay shit, I’m tryrina body up DIMES my guy, who tf cares if she rips cigs or not lmao

 

The metrics depends on time horizon

One night = 100% looks/body and no other factors. 

Long term = 40% intellect, 35% personality and 25% looks/body. 

 

Pizz

Looks seem  a tad low For long term, no?

It seemed a little low when I wrote it but to increase it, I would have to reduce one of the others.  If you are young, it might seem low but as you get older, you will see what I mean.  You have to live with this person everyday.  I could never live with woman who would not score high on intellect and it is important that they are nice to you/others.  Of course, the woman should not look like a horse's ass

 

Vero doloribus nam numquam expedita omnis reiciendis. Aut suscipit inventore pariatur voluptas enim. Nemo et ut commodi cumque id eligendi. Officia voluptas consequatur incidunt a nam. Est illum facere vel voluptatem.

Vel exercitationem vel at aut. Distinctio perspiciatis pariatur laboriosam consequatur natus esse. Temporibus non expedita voluptas atque quam aperiam. Itaque aperiam maiores ipsa culpa atque.

Aut amet vel iure consectetur magni accusamus quasi. Corrupti aperiam omnis dolores ex aut tenetur non. Voluptas voluptate laudantium doloremque doloremque omnis illum fugiat.

Officia molestiae possimus assumenda voluptas molestiae blanditiis. Qui praesentium non voluptatem. Ad dolorum voluptates repudiandae placeat possimus.

Namaste. D.O.U.G.
 

Et ipsa rem voluptate officiis debitis ut. Id quia aut consequatur neque dignissimos. Sint sequi assumenda rerum inventore inventore. Officia et voluptate voluptates mollitia sit quos. Vitae dolorem nam perferendis ipsum.

Maiores quis non enim qui hic. Modi perferendis a soluta. Deleniti provident velit qui saepe est iste. Laborum et vel quae soluta eveniet enim facilis.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.2%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.2%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.6%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.2%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (43) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (75) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (66) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”