What Bank Has the Most Fresh Faced and Moist / Succulent Analysts?

One thing I've noticed with banks recruiting more non-targets and DEI bankers is that the bull pen looks a lot messier these days than it used to. Investment Bankers used to be immediately identifiable by their clean shave, freshly pressed suits, tailored shirts and clean-cut hair. Nowadays half of the Analysts in the bull pen look like unshaven, slovenly schmucks who wouldn't know to put their napkin on their lap if they were eating at a 5-star restaurant. Horrible facial hair, red eyes, overgrown nose hair, bed head, body odor, beer guts, etc. 

It's frankly kind of disappointing as I like being surrounded by other high-achievers, from good backgrounds who keep their faces fresh and their bodies taught and malleable. I miss the warm soft target boy archetype. Are there any banks out there that are known for not buying into non-target / DEI bullshit and still consistently hire the most fresh-faced, moist & succulent juniors of the pack?  

11 Comments
 

Moist…. bankers?

For sure thought this was a LowCaliberTalent post

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Yes, nice and tight & wet bankers. Guys whose clothes fit them, who are clear eyed, clean shaved, don't vape, don't wear inappropriate Jordans to the office, etc. Non-target kids have zero couth and it degrades the atmosphere of prestige & high finance. I don't want to work with with a bunch of dry & crusty non-target kids with neck beards who wear fake AE bit loafers that look plastic. 

 

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