Removed

1) Losing people as you get older has to be the hardest part of growing up. No one tells you or prepares you for it. It just happens and you have to manage.

2) The wide variety of ways that life can fall apart only to come back together in strange and possibly better ways.

not yet 40, married, no kids (yet), what I didn't expect and how I'd advise the younger me

1. to still be in this good of shape with this kind of metabolism. consistency in the gym is key kiddies, don't try to be a hero with hitting new maxes in big lifts, aim for 5 training sessions a week, don't be afraid of cardio
   1. more on this, I didn't expect to ever enjoy cardio, but I've come to love rounds on the bag, a long run/swim, etc., it's very meditative
2. to have my friend circle shrink this much and not give a fuck. plenty of people I saw near daily in college have just faded by the wayside, not because of any incident, but because I no longer have the room for 10 really close friends, I've got room for 2, and I keep those guys very close. no advice I'd really give myself, just try your best. everybody's busy, but if you make even a tiny bit of effort, it can go a long way
3. how quickly old friends' lives can fall apart. drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, obesity, crime. if someone needs help, offer but don't insist (hippocrates: Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that make him sick), but be very careful of who you surround yourself with. your old college buddy who's spending every thursday-sunday doing blow and chasing dumb 22-24 year olds while you're trying to build relationships? don't alienate yourself entirely, but don't waste your time there.
4. health scares. I heard "you almost died" when I was in my mid 20's. long story short a medical issue that I'd had my entire life presented itself in such a way that a seemingly benign injury nearly turned fatal. don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel off. you won't miss the money, you could miss an opp to save your life. countless other things with friends who both neglected their health and who did triathlons. you have control over what you do in the gym and in the grocery store, but not the genetic cards you're dealt. treasure every moment, you never know when your last one will be
5. how quickly time flies. it's still hard to believe I'm 3X years old and have been out of college 1X years, your mind is definitely rooted in the glory days for a very long time. I'd just tell myself the same cliche stuff I heard in my teens and 20's, don't worry about shit. I don't remember any arguments I've gotten into from years' past, stupid purchases I've made (unless they were large dollar), things that pissed me off on social media or in politics, just let it be like water off a duck's back, whatever it is, you won't care about it in the future, so why give it attention now. that said, you will remember all of the trips you take, the guys weekends you did, the visit with family you do, and since you won't remember the cost of the plane ticket, the lost sleep you won't ever get back, and so on, just go out and try to DO as much as possible with the people you care about.
6. how my political views have evolved and dissolved. I was a borderline anarcho-libertarian in college, and while I still lean that way, I don't really give a fuck. you'll come to learn that your day to day is much more impacted by things like the speed limit in your neighborhood, the quality of the nearest high school, zoning rules, and your local economy than what's happening in washington. I've since shifted my attention to be mostly apolitical. I still vote in every election, but I don't allow victory or defeat of the people for whom I voted dictate my mood. I will also say that in general, as I've aged, my views have gotten softer. things I used to be hardline on, not anymore. there's a lot of grey area out there, and while I believe there are some absolute truths, very little in politics is actually black and white
7. how I view money. when I didn't make or have money, it was all I thought about. and while I'd consider myself a henry (google it), I don't think about it much. it's a means to an end - to provide for the people I care about, pay my bills, and provide me with the means to experience the things I want to experience. and yes, while I do have a thoughtful approach to money management (it is what I do for a living), I rarely think about it which has led me to be way less stressed about it. I've noticed the ones who always think about money seem to be the most stressed, even if they have it together
8. how much benefit I'd get from hardship. I've had a relatively easy life. sure, growing up lower middle class as a biracial minority wasn't silver spoon but I grew up in a safe suburb (crime mostly happened in the downtown of where I lived), had loving parents, had no health issues as a kid, and was in the USA, that's pretty fucking lucky. for years, all the way through my mid 20s, I never really pushed myself, but once I tried to build a business, I found out real quickly what grit was. I intentionally had to push myself beyond what I was comfortable doing, and have since determined that all personal growth comes not from victory, but from struggle. I encourage everyone to put themselves through hardship because life will give you plenty of it eventually, if you're not prepared for it, you will suffer more. also, through hardship comes growth. I look back on every hard thing I've ever done with fondness because I got something out of that experience, so try hard things, get out of your comfort zone. instead of being the guy that asks why, be the guy that asks why not

EDIT: since so many others have mentioned lifestyle creep, I feel compelled to comment. I've not experienced lifestyle creep robbing me of savings, my lifestyle has not grown in proportion to my income, and it's definitely avoidable. I take nicer vacations now and do so more frequently, go out to eat more, but right now my mortgage is about the same as the rent on my last apartment. a big part of this is in who you choose to marry. if your partner wants to upgrade their lifestyle with things that have high fixed costs, lifestyle creep is unavoidable. if you're happy with the simpler things and so is your spouse, it's not that difficult once you're aware it exists. I could be eating my words once I enter my 50's with kids, but for now this is what I believe and practice

In my 20s, I never thought I would be that close to my parents. But, that all changed in my 30s when they started having health issues and I jumped in to help and now our relationship is very strong. 

I'm only in my low 30s, so I may not have as much experiential tenure as some here. I can confidently say, however, that where I am now is nowhere on the spectrum of where I thought I'd be in my late 20s. Early 20s. Late teens, early teens. Life will always continually grow and evolve in a series of nonlinear experiences that you come to love and hate. If you're 22 years old and reading this, know that you genuinely just don't have an idea of where you'll be when you're 32. You can think I'm wrong, laugh me off, or anything of the sort - but trust me, I've had enough personal experience and anecdotal evidence from observing people around me to know that it's true. It's not necessarily a bad thing either.

As mentioned above, the way you interact with your friends and family will change. The quantity will go down, but the quality will continue to rise. In college, I had hundreds of acquaintances - people I'd run into at the bar or in between classes, say what up, ask how their summer was, and keep going. That was the extent of our friendships. Nowadays, I can think of 5-6 people with who I still have meaningful relationships. And can I tell ya something? Man, it's SO much better. 

I know everything about those people. They know everything about me. I've been in three of their weddings, all six of 'em have been in mine. I've watched them go through promotions, cross-country moves, divorces, childbirth, winning the lottery (yes, true story), and so much more. I've seen these things because we've just been around so long and have so many experiences together. Life is beautiful in that notion. But if you asked me in college if I'd be content with having six total friends, I probably would have been a little upset. Not anymore. 

My twenties both went by in a month and a hundred years. I struggled a lot mentally and financially in the earlier years, think 23 to 25 or so. I've spoken about this before - I was severely addicted to Adderall & cocaine, didn't work out or take care of myself, all that stuff. I'm at heightened risk for a cardiac event when I reach my 50s, even with all the work I've done to reverse the toll on my body. Those moments seemed like they lasted forever and not at all, as pretty much everything I owe to my current life (both good and bad) happened from age 20-29. While the later years were much better and I found success with my mental state, fitness levels, and career promotion, still seems like it went by in the blink of an eye. It's just wild how FAST it moves sometimes, as noted by both thebrofessor and jackstraw001's great comments. Enjoy what you can, while you can. Can sure as shit tell you I've taken so many things and people for granted, not understanding the positive impact they had until they were gone. 

One thing that I saw that may have been slightly touched upon that I want to expand on is how your priorities will change. I'm actually laughing while writing this now, recollecting my definitions of 'success' and 'making it' that I had early on. There was a thread a couple of days ago asking something like "How many of you all made it?" and I was reading the replies - all I could think of was my former self. WolfofWSO, as usual, provided the one comment that resonated with me more than anything, moving the question completely away from a financial marker and onto what matters more. When you get older, money doesn't interact with you the same way it does when you're younger. Your priorities shift almost completely away from it, and more to what you care about and love - I love my wife. I love my family. I love my friends, my dog, and my old coworkers who I can catch up with. I love my personal trainer, my old MMA coach, and my sweet old neighbor who takes care of our dog. I would give up every penny I've ever made if it meant that I could help them out in a way, and for anyone who has a family and people they hold near and dear, you know what I'm talking about.

As privileged of a remark as this may seem, I'll just come out and say it: I genuinely do not give a shit about money anymore. The salary doesn't matter to me, the bonus doesn't matter, nor does the carry. I recognize how fortunate I am to be able to say this, and can also see how it'd be construed as narcissistic. I'm lucky in the notion that I've worked hard in my career to obtain the financial cushion I have. It doesn't even come close to the number that I've seen others have on this forum and doesn't even tickle the ankles of some HNWIs that I've met on the job. But it's enough for me. If more comes, I'll take it. I'll take the promotion, I'll take the bonus, I'll take the invitation to the equity pool. But it's just no longer my priority anymore. As you grow older, it very well may no longer be yours.

Growing up is a beautiful thing. It's sad in a lot of ways, but I try not to think about it that way. It's just different - life continually evolves, and there's nothing you can do to slow it down. Ending here, my only REAL recommendation is simple: enjoy the ride. 

You’re still the same person, just in a bigger more “adult” body and it makes you realize adults aren’t really that smart, they just act like they know what they’re doing. 
 

I also didn’t expect to slowly become a carbon copy of both of my parents which isn’t a bad thing because they’re both very responsible people, but wow have I just become a boring human being lol. 
 

Grass really is always greener. I thought my life would be amazing once I got X job and made Y money, but humans are extremely adaptable creatures and now I’m once again bored with my current position, yearning for more. 
 

The fact that no one tells you what to do or holds you accountable for anything anymore. In school, you’ve got a strict schedule, and parents + numerous adults who’ll reprimand you if you go even an inch out of line. When you’re an adult, you could technically do cocaine and heroine and no one would really care. 
 

You could miss a week of work, get fired, and that’s completely on you. You could stop going to the gym and get fat, and no one would say a thing. It’s all up to you what kind of man you want to be in this world. And that fact still scares me. 
 

The utter boredom. You need to find hobbies and things to do with your time outside of work. You need to constantly stimulate yourself. Maybe in school it was possible to grind 14 hours a day and be OK, but as an adult, this will nearly kill you. You need some semblance of a healthy work-life-balance. 
 

That’s all I can think of at the moment 

1. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. There's someone who hated his job, worked 80 hours a week only to retire at 55. There's someone who retired at 70 but enjoyed every day at work and found fulfillment in what he/she did. 

2. No point in comparing yourself to others. You can only compete against yourself and work towards becoming the best person you can be. Everybody has different circumstances. 

3. Spirituality and simplicity become more important. 

4. Women come and go. However, they are less likely to walk away at an older age. 

5. Health is wealth. 

6. You try to make the most of everyday as you realize there's limited time on this earth. 

I agree with most of the observations.  I’ll try to think of some different ones:

• Your world gets smaller as you get older (saw what happened to my dad - and you know what me him and my sister - that was enough)
• You learn a lot happens between the zones of the Law of the Jungle and the legal system
• For many, getting older means prioritizing shorter term thinking - usually revolving around money, place in life - which leads to divorces, business breakups, litigation and other negative events 
• The reputation of someone over age 40 is generally true
• Your co-workers and most everyone do not give a shit about you.  Life will go on without you.
• Most of your lasting most influential  memories happen prior to 25 years old
• Macro politics and economics are fun to read but usually doesn’t impact you as an individual 
• You have to reinvent yourself several times to survive over a career; bar is constantly changing; this isn’t a world of life time employment and stability (generally speaking)
• The word Legacy means something different to different people 
• I want to make money mainly to give it away; don’t need a lot of stuff
• Lighting strikes, maybe once, maybe twice (Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac) - that could be interpreted in different ways (love, business, family) and Young man thinks there’s always tomorrow (Justin Bieber “Ghost”) - I’m at that crossroads of “young and old;” I’m in 40’s yet I still have that long term thinking yet know that I only have finite shots left (energy, time being the constraints). 
• personality is a pretty good predictor of the future - study psychology beyond a college.  
• keep your face moisturized 
• insurance can be your best friend
• you will wish you spent more time with your parents once they are gone.  The crazy stat that you spend 90% of your time with you parents Pre-adulthood and then less than 10% once you leave the nest.  Get someone to record their stories (including your grandparents), MemoryVideo.com for example, it’s worth it.
• in your family dynamic, you are generally separated generationally by 30 years.  Grandparents 90 years old.  Parents 65 years old.  You 30 years old.  By the time your become mature enough to care about the older generations (usually after 35), they are dead, have dementia, or if you’re lucky one of them are alive (or both). We live like ships sailing in the night.  Maybe physically we are there, but mentally we might just pass each other by. 
• people sometimes brashly say that they would rather die when they get infirm (old, incapable of taking care of themselves), and I usually don’t believe them because people generally find reasons to live when the time comes.
• prestige is worth less and less 
• Age discrimination and agism will become an issue for you (right now I look young for my age) but I’ve heard it many times.  Examples of Agism: underestimating older people, taking down to them, making them feel worth less, defining people by their condition vs their selves 
• Your desires, if you’re a guy, parallel your dad in a way when he was your age.
• work out more muscle in 30-40’s; plenty of time for cardio later when you can’t build muscle no more (at least that’s what I heard).
• listen to your body.  If something feels wrong or different, self-advocate and get it checked out.  The “C” word is scary (cancer).  Who cares about the money.
• don’t miss weddings.  Maybe you’re unemployed or too busy and you can’t travel to your hometown for the wedding, so you don’t do.  There will be a time when all your friends are married and there are no more weddings to attend and you’ll think about would that $1,000 I saved by not going to my good friend’s wedding, will I miss that?  And the answer is no.

Divorce happen 60% of times. Don’t get married. The law system is rigged

I’m in my Mid-30s now and I first posted on here I believe during my sophomore year in college 
 

1. Coming to terms my own mortality as well as those of my friends and family. Getting older comes with losing the people dearest to you - sometime in the most traumatizing fashion. I can remember from high school to my early 20s feeling invincible. Now you try to cherish every moment because as cliche as it is time really isn’t guaranteed. Learning to live with loss and trauma and leaning on a support system is essential the older you get

2. Your friend group shrinks tremendously and you have to make a concerted effort to maintain the relationships you care about. Gone is the time of seeing them daily and having a relatively similar routine. You quickly learn which are friendships that are reliable in times of needs and “friendships“ that were purely social with superficial depth. Forming genuine friendships in your late 20s / 30s is substantially harder as you have less time to invest and everyone is at different stages of their lives.

3. It’s crazy how much your priorities change from the immediate post-college period to the 30s. I can remember running through walls and sacrificing opportunities to invest in relationships just for a chance to make an extra buck. Now, while I still enjoy the prospects of making money, there is definitely an inflection point where I’m not willing to sacrifice “me-time”

4. Things like “prestige” matter so much less. It’s why I find the IB forum amusing and nauseating at times. “Where you work, where you went to school, etc.” all of that shit starts to become irrelevant especially when you see how miserable your 30+ / 40+ peers and colleagues are (despite checking all these superficial boxes I admittedly cared a lot about at one point in time). Seeing some of my old posts on here from my college days provides a certain level of amusement and cringe.

I'm anticipating a load of MS for this one, so long anon posting in other forums, but...

I believe there are more posters on WSO earning $300k+/year than there are people earning $300k/year.  I'm not plugged into HR or company payscales, but I did do budgeting at one point and saw the payroll of EVERYONE in a corporate division.  I could likely count on my hands how many people earned more than $300k/year.  My friend just got a VP spot in a market group of a BB in NYC.  Total comp including bonus; barely $200k.  The person who left the spot and went to another BB did so to earn $240k or something all in.  Shy of IB comp, most comp in finance isn't that alluring.  And when you break IB comp down to an hourly rate, that isn't that great either.  There's a reason they say you get 5 years of experience in 2 years.

99% of people can’t think independently/for themselves 

I'll answer differently - which is what would I alter if I could do it again.

I'd say stick with each opportunity and phase in life until you really get all there is to it, rather than jump. Stay in university longer if you need to, stay in the jobs that are teaching you, and don't be in such a hurry to jump to the new new thing. Really get everything out of every experience that you can before you move on. And keep an eye on the big picture. When I was an associate I should have spent less time focused on the 'suck' of the job and devote more of my mindshare to enjoying time with my associate classmates and having friendly drinks with the seniors at the firm, rather than focusing on the sucky parts of the job. In hindsight I was depriving myself of the fun parts of being at the platform, and I made my own experience worse for it.

Despite my username, as I get older I'm starting to realize material possessions aren't as important as I thought. I used to daydream about things I could buy and then when you buy the actual thing it loses it's importance or the gratification dissipates quickly. It's a pretty empty pursuit.  

I also used to always wonder how well off people I knew would drive beaters or not upgrade to the best item they could. It didn't make sense to me, but as I get older I started to realize that stuff doesn't matter and it hardly will improve your life purposefully. Also some people just don't put any value on stuff like that. 

I see the appeal to be a minimalist at times. Overall I'd say I'm pretty minimalistic except for certain things like (liquor, clothes, eating out), but part of me almost wants to forgo it all as I age. 

Basically what everyone said above, what I would add:

1. You see how other people live their lives, and how other people develop. For example, I went to a small catholic school growing up until 8th grade, less than 60 students, so you kind of know where everyone stands/ended up. Hate to say it, but if you had to bet on kids in 8th grade on how "successful" (job, relationships, life) they'd be, you'd probably get a high percentage correct. 

2. You understand a little more why people make the decisions they make. Meaning, you see different theories on life. Some people would rather do what they want and die at 65 (drinking, smoking, bad eating), than live to 90 doing things they don't want to do. I can see it both ways, not saying one is right and one is wrong. 

3. You realize that most people create their own problems and not doing well at things they can control. Similar to as mentioned by others above, most people know what they need to do, just fail to do them, in terms of managing their money correctly, or not eating poorly. For example, if someone complains about how their job sucks, they rarely try to change jobs, or most likely aren't doing a good job to begin with; they could change that but don't. 

4. I'd also add, it kind of wild how many people as they get older don't get better at things. For example, I know plenty of friends and relatives who have no idea about their money. If they learned one thing a day for ~2 minutes about money, they'd be set. However, they don't. 

5. You realize that age is truly just a number. I know people who are 80 and still young, I know people who are 35 and old. 

At some point (I don't know, maybe age 30 or so) people who've been ambitious to that point start splitting into the ambitious-for-life crowd and the settling-down crowd.  I'm not referring to marriage or kids.  Whether family or not, it's like some people keep looking at life as a challenge to be conquered, and others see it as a finite thing to be enjoyed while it lasts.

What's been surprising:

1. How quickly it changes people.  10th college reunion, everyone is the same.  Some w kids, some not, but all feeling like the same rough chapter of life.  15th reunion, everyone is different.  One group of guys wants to talk about what Elon is doing at Twitter, or (after a few drinks) what their next big move is.  Other group of guys wants to talk about golf shoes.  Both groups equally inclined to talk about family, but very different interests outside of that.

2. How much it changes their view of society and world.  Ambitious group gets really curious about where the world is going.  Economics, technology, etc.  Less ambitious group is more into local politics, "can you believe what Trump said" that sort of thing.

3. How much it changes goals.  One group sets personal goals and the other sets "bucket list" type goals especially travel, and is really good at getting through Netflix seasons fast.

Between this, and the ability to meet new people easier than ever, its caused me to change my friend group in a way I never thought would happen.  It's like late 30's is a re-shuffle.

Growing up, I thought money was important and resulted in happiness...

Now I know its true. People may not like hearing that, but that's been my experience. Healthcare? Covered. Kids' education? Covered. Laid off or fired? No problem. 

Over the years, I've done my own informal social experiments, and let's just say tailored suits, exotic cars and expensive watches always seem to win people over, whether for business, romance, socializing, etc.

Fantastic thread - absolutely amazing comments on here, 100% agree with all of them (as a guy in his early 30s). Would just echo what others have said about money and prestige becoming much less meaningful as you get older. Particularly prestige - like others said, it's amusing for me now to look at posts on here by college kids asking about the most prestigious BBs, PE firms etc. Whilst of course you want to go to a good firm - trust me, in 5-10 years' time your friends and family will not give a sh*t if you make $150k or $300k at Wells Fargo, or at Goldman, or through running your own chain of Subway franchises lol. When I meet my friends now we barely talk about work - there are so much more important things to discuss, i.e. relationships, kids (I don't have any but some of my friends do), upcoming vacations etc.

Equally with money - whilst obviously you need a decent amount of money to give yourself and your family/future family a good lifestyle, the extra value you get from it over time really does fade. As a personal example, I work in MM PE making $300k - if I got an offer from a MF (not that they would want me) for $600k but I'd have to work the majority of weekends for the next year, would I do it? Myself ten years ago would have immediately said "hell yes!" without a second thought. Me now though - I have to say I wouldn't.

I realize that's a fortunate/privileged position to be in. But here's something else you realize as you get older - the value of material things/stuff really starts to fade. When I was 23 I thought owning a Ferrari and a Rolex would mean a life of eternal bliss. I still don't own a Ferrari or a Rolex, but having a Porsche Boxster (not the same I know) and a Tag watch - they're nice for a bit, but really your life doesn't meaningfully change. The novelty really wears off fast - your friends and family might be interested briefly, but they'll quickly refocus their attention back to their own lives. So whilst I could probably afford to lease a Ferrari comfortably now (and certainly could buy a Rolex if I could stomach the wait times), it just doesn't appeal to me anymore. Creating memories for yourself and with other people is much more important (so I do still enjoy splashing out on luxury vacations).

I did not expect to be less employable as I got older. I thought with hard work and dedication to my profession I would get more employable. Nope. I get told "we can hire a 30 y.o. to do this and it would be cheaper and their capabilities and network would be similar". It's beyond depressing. Whenever I had trouble getting jobs when I was younger it was stressful. Not being able to get a job due to ageism is terrifying.I now am responsible for a stay at home wife, two kids and her in laws who are staying with us. Wife refuses to get a job over past 14 years of marriage which stresses and infuriates me.It's quite terrifying and frustrating. I often get suicidal ideation but of course would never act on it because I have responsibilities to these kids. But without a proper career it's beyond bad.

lower back problems. it fucking sucks.

Did not expect that one’s body could no longer handle work for mental or physical reasons.  And how so much basic knowledge to address this is skipped over in formal education.  How to to handle stress and worry.  How to prioritize and find discipline.  How to eat healthy and feel better.  Have gotten a lot more value from podcasts and self help books than many years of school combined (some dumb ones, but those like Atomic Habits or the Stoic philosophy ones are awesome).

Did not expect to find more meaning in doing small things well than being a big shot with a huge title.  So many jobs in a capitalist economy could actually be useless or held by incompetent people.  If a company makes money, often no one notices about pointless cost centers and high ups often pursue personal empire building without tangible merit.

Did not expect how much it takes to raise kids.  Still early on and between the first few months where they wake up every 2 hours to the weekends where you must entertain an impatient toddler for 2 days without a nanny or daycare to help, expect to spend about half a job’s worth of effort on small kids.  Still wouldn’t trade it for anything though.

I have absolutely loved it and didn’t expect to enjoy my 30’s (and almost 40 now) more than my 20’s. 

Things that have been surprising:

1)  I’ve been able to stay in shape (arguably best shape of my life) even in my late 30’s

2) how rewarding having a kid has been. Being able to spend time with them has been great. While it’s a lot of work, it is easier than I expected (granted have a nanny etc)

3) the people who I’ve stayed close with. Still being best friends with childhood friends and going on trips every year. I always thought these relationships would just go away over time

4) how you still feel young and occasionally do stupid things even though you are suppose to be “mature”

5) that all the annoying stuff at work still sticks around. Office politics, not feeling fully appreciated, etc doesn’t go away as you are more senior. The MDs fight with each other just as much as the junior folks 

l’m personally loving it. While I miss the amount of free time I had when I was younger, the freedom now (especially after a successful career so far) is amazing. Traveling a lot, spending time with friends and family, having lots of cool experiences. I didn’t realize it would be this fun. 

Thought cranking 70 hour weeks would be way worse than it is

Existential crisis that hit me when I turned 35. 

When you're 35, you're at the halfway point between 20 and 50 - but the thing is that you remember 15 years ago like it was yesterday. Then it hits you that time goes by even faster as you get older, and before you know it, you'll be a 50 year old dude. 

And I guess if you ask a 50 year old, they'll say the same. They feel young, and that 50 isn't really old - 70 is old. 

By my early 20s my metabolism had sharply slowed down and now I'm struggling to balance a healthy diet with a stressful job that often makes it hard to make good homemade meals. 

By my mid 20s my lower back started to hurt more and I have to spend extra time stretching and going to chiro to manage it

In my late 20s I'm now having an existential crisis. I used to think that finance was at the intersection of what kind of work I could semi-enjoy while not hating my life. However, after a line of several unfulfilling finance jobs I'm not sure that's still true. 

Tons of good points above. Guess I'd sum my thoughts into this: a comfortable apathy towards most things people have generally gotten worked up towards. What I include in this:

- Politics: whether you care or don't give a shit about politics, you learn to just live and let live as it relates to your political views. I have developed a real meaty intolerance towards overly staunch political folks who were drawing relationships and fencing friendships based on political views

- Prestige: having worked at non-prestigious and prestigious firms, I promptly realized early on that none of that matters in the grand scheme. The loser running a meme account who is trashing certain banks at random behind the veil of anonymity should certainly not be the gauge of how you measure the success of your firm and certainly not prop your self-worth up behind it

- Socializing: I know I read this above and it was articulated really well, but I gotta reemphasize - you just will cut down on the size of your social circle to only accommodate those who are real friends whose company you genuinely enjoy. If you're like me, you started cutting people out early on who you didn't like spending time with but I've found it becomes much more defined as you grow older

- Money: this one I have a hard time with. It's easy for many to find a good gig and say they wouldn't take a substantially higher salary now if it meant sacrificing some freedom they've found in their current, but I think it's difficult to make this claim unless you're really faced with it. Was faced with this once and took the opportunity and frankly it was the wrong decision as it decimated my mental and physical health but I can't say it would be easy to make the other choice given how little money I had grown up on and how much the opportunity was paying (always kept that far too in perspective, which was the wrong thing to do)