What do guys mean when they say a girl has no personality?
I see it commented lots on threads that "they were hot but had no personality". What is your definition of someone who is lacking a discernible personality?
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Their interests or passions (if they have any at all) have no substance.
A good example is someone whose primary interest is social media. They live their day-to-day lives in a way that will allow them to contribute to social media, because that is their main passion.
Although I wouldn't go out of my way to ridicule someone's interest in social media, this kind of person would not be interesting to talk to because all they can share is what they've read about other people doing. i.e. no personality.
Someone with a personality will have a balance of humor, interesting experiences to share (outside of their social media content consumption), and overall passion about substantive things like their future/career goals.
Social media especially TikTok are ruining everything right now.
You sound like my grumpy aunt
Good
I’d go out of my way to ridicule that. It’s getting out of control tbh
Maybe whatever makes them “them” and distinct from other people. If they just copy other people then it’s kinda like they don’t have their own personality
That's all any of us do, copy other people. We all copy what we like and when we get bored go to something new, La Vie Dansant.
Pizz thoughts ?
get in here pizz
To me it’s someone who just goes along with whatever the last person said and doesn’t appear to have any interests or opinions that are genuinely their own.
Does society actually like people with their own opinions? Or does it just yell at them and say they're wrong?
What they mean is that their personality doesn't intersect with certain women.
Plenty of finance bros "have no personality" in that their entire sense of self is wrapped up in their work lives. We've all met people who only socialize with other Wall Street types, only talk about work, seem to have very little interest in anything that doesn't touch on finance. No difference between them and someone obsessed with social media, or perhaps better to say obsessed with meeting the external social expectations of others.
If a woman, does not have a sense of adventure, cannot carry a conversation, no humor, no real plans for the future. Interested in petty gossip.....
This describes a huge percentage of junior bankers, too.
It's all a matter of perception. For the average person on this forum, gossiping about the latest hires or bonus targets or which firm is winning which deal is something of interest. To the average population, that's some incredibly boring and esoteric shit to listen to. I personally don't give a damn about which celebrity is doing what with who, but the average human would absolutely consider that a more interesting and accessible path of conversation. So... who can't carry on the conversation, in that instance.
I've said this before on this site, but junior bankers in particular get too caught up in the Wall Street bubble and fail to realize that all of your peers won't be laser-focused on the same one or two things for your entire career, so learning how to diversify your interests early can pay dividends later, when advancement has less to do with Excel ability and more to do with connecting with clients.
As for the rest of it, most bankers are too tied to their desks to do much traveling, humor is incredibly subjective and my guess is most people would (rightly) say they have a good sense of humor, and "no real plans for the future" stinks of a kind of elitism. Wanting to be a home maker is an equally valid ambition as wanting to be an MD at Goldman Sachs.
The more accurate answer is that people, be they men or women, who don't have a well rounded personality and aren't curious about things outside their experience, tend to seem to be boring/have no personality because they only people who will connect with them are those with equally narrow worldviews. Given that Wall Street collects those people in a room with like-minded souls and amplifies those interests, it's easy to forget that it's a tiny tiny bubble at the end of the day. I'm sure the Instagram thot community feels equally rewarded and validated when talking to other people within it as you do with your fellow analysts.
When a girls says her hobbies are "shopping and hanging out with friends" or "traveling" but she only has ever gone to tourist traps to post pics on Insta. Girls that are on their phones all day everyday, replying to their millions of DMs from random orbiters telling her she's beautiful. Girls whose highlight of her week is going clubbing and posting pics of it on social media so they can get high off the likes.
These girls are a dime a dozen and I want nothing to do with them.
So you don't like simple fun, got it.
I believe that you are actually asking two questions here. One is "what does it mean for a girl to have no personality" and what does the phrase "they were hot but had no personality" mean. Believe it or not, these are two separate questions with two different answers and I'll adress each.
1) What does it mean for a girl to have no personality?
To me, having a fake personality is one automatic way that would make a girl boring. Fake means, crafting an image on social media that does not represent oneself. This is often done through posting fake photos (ex. pretending to have an interest in fitness by working out at gym but the photos are staged), virtue signaling (pretending to show support cause Y just to be popular among friends when you've done nothing at all in reality to advance that cause), and being very quick to cancel some stranger who has 0 relevance to your life. Come to think of it, we can extend this argument further and say that anyone's life who revolves around traditional social media often has a personality that really isn't their own but one just driven by going with the flow.
Another example, is the "corporate professionial" image (and this is true for both guys and girls). Just to add some context I've seen some users suggest on this site say that everything you say in writing, speak out loud, or do in public should be done in accordance with the idea that one day your boss may see it. I'm not going to argue about the merit of the advice itself, but I will just say that if you follow or try to follow this advice (and people actually do) I am going to see you as a boring person, period.
2) What does the phrase "they were hot but had no personality" mean?
In his response Ozymandia brings up an excellent point about Wall Street bankers and how they can easily be perceived as boring that I'm going to generalize. People on the extreme ends of any spectrum are generally seen as "boring" or "lacking personality" by society. The Wall Street banker who works 80+ hours a week, on call 24/7 and spends what little spare time he has practicing for PE recruiting would be seen as lacking personality because he is on the extreme end of the spectrum when it comes to career focus and dedication in an industry that is one of the least understood out of the well paying ones.
How this specifically relates to the question is that hot girls and especially the ones you would rate as 9.5+ are on the extreme end of the spectrum and have to put an unusual amount of effort, like the banker, to keep up that appearance.. Proper dieting, routine exercise, skin/hair maintanence, jewelery, lipstick, mascara, fashion (especially true in NYC) are aspects that have to be worked on and maintained on a regular basis. All of this takes time and for those who have a genuine interest can easily extend into the weekends (such as fitness expos and competitions, shopping for clothes at malls, etc.). On top of that, such girls may avoid restaurants you like and not drink much due to health reasons (some people consider even eating a slice of pizza as a "cheat meal"). What this means is that when you speak to such a girl a disproportional amount of the conversation will be on the topics I mentioned above and a disproportional amount of her time is spent on things you have no interest in and most people in society have no interst in. It's easy to see how if you have no interest in these things, you'd write the girl off as boring. Of course, I'd make a strong argument that she has a personality, but it's on an extreme end of the spectrum that deviates from the "well balanced" person that many strive for.
Why was my comment removed? Nothing wrong with it and it answers OP's question...
No tits
Real answer? It's generally a coping mechanism used by insecure guys who are likely lower value themselves in some way (yes, even if they work in finance) to make a hot girl they are intimidated by seem inferior. Thus, a 'you cant turn me down, if I turn you down first'. Even more ironic if the guy lives his job like many here or is a typical bro who spends his free time watching sports, reading barstool, on draft kings, etc. (probably less applicable here)
Vapid individuals for sure exist. But more time than not it's pot calling kettle black.
Some girls don't find the stories about me passing out on my bathroom floor in Portugal, while my friends had to climb from one resort to another to get in funny. Not my fault.
Most of the threads on WSO are posted by people with no personalities.
deleted
Other commenters have pointed it out, but lack of substance and no defining characteristics are indicators.
I’ll give an example in male terms: in my main circle of male friends, each person has some kind of unique hobby, passion, interest, etc. Could be outdoors, art, making their own music, etc.
In woman with no personality terms, I can create the opposite. Wakes up, gets Starbucks, goes to work, free time devoted to playing on social media, watching bachelorette, and have nothing going on beyond that. Unfortunately there are plenty of guys that fall into this as well. But, a good indicator of someone with a personality is someone that can put down their phone, doesn’t document every single thing they do when they travel or hang out with friends, and being “present”.
Kind of rambled along there, but my main point is “no personality” is someone with no unique aspects to who they are as a person and largely lives a meaningless life with no ambition or “purpose”.
Attraction was only skin deep, they aren’t interesting and likely was borderline rude on a date or in conversation.
If you were a guy would you rather come home after a long days work to a wife who discusses recent political news, the non-profit initiative she's currently working on and the book club she goes to. Or would you rather come home to a wife gossiping about her friend who painted their nails the wrong colour
Both of those options sound equally awful.
If “discussing the latest political news” equals regurgitating whatever hand to mouth viewpoints you received from your source of choice (WSJ, CNN, NPR, etc) then sorry, you fall into the “no personality” bucket
Regularly talking politics, or worse - making it a key part of your personality, is one of the surest signs of an unoriginal dolt who thinks themselves as enlightened. It’s the easiest way to cut a corner on a topic and seem intelligent/sophisticated when you truly have no idea what you’re talking about.
This is a real Sophie's choice
When she says her primary interests are travel and food, she has no personality.
An interesting woman has 3 or more real hobbies (could be fly fishing, hiking, singing, basket weaving, etc.), can see other perspectives even if she disagrees, kind and will stay with you even in your toughest times.
A girl like this is by definition not career-oriented and isn’t going to be going after a man who works 80+ hour weeks with no hobbies except drinking and sports.
Be real with yourself and quit dreaming buddy.
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