What if WSO was a high school?

Haha totalllllly random thought that just came about in my mind

If WSO was a high school, what would it be like? What cliques would there be, what crews.. would it be consultants vs bankers? Uneasy truces? Who would be the popular kids, who would be the dumb kids. Would Midas bully the fuck out of you until you commit suicide?

A few ideas of mine :

Ratinamaze's Paki girlfriend would get stolen by ANT for his love of brown girls

The rich target kids would get into scuffles with the nontarget poor kids.

Flake would be the substance-dependent kid due to his bearfighting

I'd obviously be the manwhore of the group, pullin as I am known to do

Brady obviously the grades obsessed Asian kid so that his parents dont beat him for not getting into Harvard.

Anything else?!

27 Comments
 

Rich kids don't fight. They go places with their money where poor kids can't follow.

The token 8 black kids out of the 4,000 in the high school would all sit together at one table.

cphbravo is the 275lb. All-American high school lineman.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

Will we be able to take choppers to school? If not im transfering lol.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

I'll be the school's weed hookup...

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 
Best Response

I don't think it would break down between groups like IB, AM, ER, PE, etc. I think we would divide on the more random social shit that we all argue about like political views and shit. I see an ANT clique, The King clique, the Troll clique. I'd be cool with everyone so I would get invited to all the parties and always have shit to do. Kinda like high school.

Patrick, you should start a charter school! $$$$$. I'll coach any sport and bang the gymnastics coach since we all know she will be in shape and crazy flexible.

"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." Theodore Roosevelt
 

I think all 8 tokens would be the star basketball players

eyyooo!

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 

haha, my S&T counterparts would lead the drug trading desks.......

I wanna short sell weed! This is a very interesting idea... I might dream about it tonight :O

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed, Go Bucks!!
 

I think Compbankerd will be that mature slick kid that gets all da hoes.

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed, Go Bucks!!
 

Is Eddie the gym teacher who doesn't give a shit about anything and comes into school in the morning having destroyed a half-rack of beer?

 

I'd probably be the guy that gets all the booze and runs the Keg and pours drinks at parties...

Yeah... I'm definitely the resident booze hound.

 

Marcus would be the guy telling everyone how retarded they look and how the real world isn't like high school...

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

I want to be the kid who starts a website that sexually exploits high school girls on their 18th birthdays.

cherrypophigh.com

Competition is a sin. -John D. Rockefeller
 

Fugit blanditiis temporibus eum ipsam quo. Consectetur voluptatem tempore qui autem.

Non quia hic impedit vel. Sunt magni nihil rerum hic voluptatum. Aut repudiandae maiores rerum ut porro et.

Necessitatibus corporis enim fugiat ipsam. Libero cum reprehenderit beatae beatae autem sit nesciunt. At voluptate id voluptate impedit.

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed, Go Bucks!!

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (79) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”