When do I get to be happy?

Congrats you got an offer , as someone who didn’t get one be happy that the journey is just beginning for you while I might not have a chance .Even if you don’t get full time you could always lateral

Most banking jobs are going to disappear anyway in the next 5-10 years so I wouldn't sweat it too much.

Happiness starts when you have work life balance. I'm not talking any of that 40 hours a week bs. I'm just saying that having time to sleep, time for friends, but also being able to work hard when you need to. That is the thing that I think is the most important thing for me. 

I hated banking, and I would rather go and do a marketing job than do banking again, but I can't say it wasn't worth it. You kind of have to embrace the suck until you find yourself on the other hand.

When you stop comparing yourself to others and live life on your own terms. Comparison is the thief of joy. It is a grind, one you choose to do. Our lives are the consequences of our choices

Happiness is neither a privilege nor a right. It is a choice. And only you can try to rebuild and make it right.

you don't really. if you get a great job you are worried about next one. if you work in IBD, you worry about PE recruiting. then worry about getting promoted to VP/Director. Then worry about making partner (most don't, so are you SOL then?). if make partner, worry about deals/fund and high leverage of lifestyle (need to spend money to keep up with jones). then worry about your kids and their ability to get into hs/college (and then IBD/PE, where cycle repeats all over again).

if anything the worry/dread gets worse as you get older into 40s and 50s

^^ this is many many people who are in finance. you need mindset to NOT get into trap but it is internal not external one. know 9-figure net worth finance execs who are unhappy because their close circle of friends are worth >$2bn and they feel they are the least accomplished of grp

hell, the founder of THL committed suicide and there was a WSJ article implying he did it because the KKR/BX founders eclipsed him (completely dumb implication, but you get the mindset):

https://www.wsj.com/articles/thomas-lee-private-equity-pioneer-struggled-to-reprise-early-successes-1f551b30?reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

alternatively, you can recognize that you are so lucky to even be in a position to think about IB/PE careers and your downside case is a pretty good upper middle class life in the most prosperous time ever lived, but you have to fly coach instead of private/biz

You’re doing better than you think. Happiness isn’t a milestone — it’s moments. Find them, protect them.

As a man, your happiness will happen when you achieve success in your field . 

Keeping in mind that may take 20 years you need to be able to live a lifestyle that you enjoy on the way up or you’ll never make it 

Get into a geo you like, work you are good at, with decent pay and the rest will work out 

I''m going to take a different view than the individuals below and ask some questions. Do you want to be a billionaire? Do you want to have a loving family with a wife and a few kids? Do you want to reach the top of the food chain (Fortune 500 CEO, founder in HF/PE) ? Well, if you want the first and the third thing, you're not even close and you're going to have to work your ass off. Some kids may have gotten internships at GS, but what about after? Many wealthy people I know do not have the best marriages and are not very close with their children because of how much time they've opted to spend at work. I also know rich people with family lives that are enviable. There are trade offs and everyone is different. I personally am happy with my role today, but I know I am going to have to work my ass off to be a PM or CIO. The grind never stops if you're an ambitious person (e.g. Warren & Charlie), but it is all about enjoying the little moments with friends, romantic partners, & family to the best of your ability while also pursuing your professional goals. It may be tough to see the road to success when you're barely a junior in college, but the best thing you can do for yourself is focus on your work product and try to drown out the noise of a linkedin post saying some kid got BX or KKR or Citadel. 

Honestly feel the same and feel as if this prestige obsession completely destroyed my life. I was once a really non-caring happy kid. That is, I walked around however I liked, I did not care if I would look/come off goofy/non wealthy/whatever. Also did not care at all about prestige in any kind of way. Was just living my life.

Then University started and slowly got dragged into it via the student clubs. I felt like if I crack a internship at a Big 4 firm or big name corporate that would be really good! I went on and did that but the minute I started I was dead unhappy because so many other people were at better firms and the whole prestige trap / bubble started where you only look to the few % up and not how far you've come. I went to great BBs and even worked at MBB but I always was extremely insecure and unhappy. It is a complete prestige trap. Once you associate yourself with a higher social circle working at a MBB or BB becomes normal. YOU want to be the one working at a hedge fund or MF, not just at a MBB / top Bank.

I feel like my brain is completely cooked. Like I can't evaluate or talk to people normally anymore. I always feel like "what are they going to think about my occupation?" or I implicitly feel bad for people who just work a normal corporate job. Like if I am a totally different class of human. 

I am reflected enough to realize that this is toxic as hell and not normal behavior but my mind unconditionally was trained to it by years of being in these target school environments + linkedin + this page etc. I want to be "normal" so badly and not care so much what people might think but I just can't go back anymore. 

You are burning out before having started ?

You have a choice. You can either think "I didn't get a BB/EB offer. Woe is me." or you can think "I am so grateful I get to work in investment banking. There are thousands of students that would kill for my spot. I will not waste this opportunity. I am going to learn all I can, continually improve myself in all areas, make great friends, build my network, and see where life takes me. I trust I have the motivation and capability to figure the next steps out along the way. At 22, the adventure is all ahead of me." It's up to you.

Retirement.

who the fuck cares

are you in finance because you like it? good, then do the fucking work and become a beast at it which will open hundreds of doors down the road

are you in for the prestige? seek therapy, it's often because of undealt insecurities/self-worth/coping reasons you need this prestige, which at the end of the day is just a validation mechanism 

no one who has a direction in life cares about prestige, prestige only fills the mind of those who are aimless. 

So if you don't sit down and do the real hard work i.e., self-discovery, reflection, and understanding what path in life is yours, how can you ever become happy? you're avoiding the exact thing that will lead to happiness, so what even was the expectation?

don't you see how fucking packed is WSO of people in highly prestigious firms tha taren't still happy despite having something sooo sought after here? many wonder why, but there's nothing to wonder. following the herd, into something which isn't your call, will lead you to the tomb still unhappy

for myself, I fucking love finance, not for the fucking cell formating that is required day to day, but for the overall mental model that is built in a job that at the end of the day you do what many realize that the whole point of working is - once the idealism fades away - which is just making money

plenty of lawyers, doctors, engineers, who aspired to those jobs in their youth just wake up after some years and realize that at the end of the day what drives their entire industry is money and the only thing everyone cares is money and the reason they wake up at 7am is money. So how you can't you enjoy seeing the game as an insider and dominate the language and entire math that goes behind such a desired commodity?

but of course, how could you, if you just want "Goldman Sachs" and not finance

There are some great points above, but if you are a striver that will never go away. I had a ton of fun in my 20s and worked a ton of hours, but I liked it to some degree. I founded a company, and that was even worse. I liked a goal driven output and clear timelines, even when I had to work all night. When I had kids that all changed more rapidly than I'd expected. That finally forced me to grow up in many ways in my early 30s. I couldn't stay out late anymore, and there are constant obligations that pop up that you don't know about until day-of. Rest becomes the key for sanity. It's less fun but the reality most of us are faced with if you ever want kids. 

Comparison is the thief of joy, my friend. 

So many people on here define themselves by what career they have. Then they ask, "well if I switch from X to Y career, will I be happy?" When they are really talking about switching from Desk A to Desk B. Different building, same shit. 

What really needs to happen is you have to challenge yourself every day. Go cycling, do triathlons, join an MMA, BJJ, or Muay Thai gym. Be fearless in meeting new people and talking to new chicks. Design the life you deserve. If you just clock in and clock out of work and have nothing else, well yeah you're not going to be happy.

Comparison is the thief of joy

There is a difference between being content with yourself and content with your job. Being contented as a man of virtue who does the best the can in anything he does is what really leads you to being happy, not landing more prestigious job. You should be just as happy as a CEO as you would be as a janitor. It's not really the career you choose but how and why you do it. If you do it for love of God and family then you'll be happy. If you do it just because you want to have more money than other people then you'll die with nothing to take with you. Work hard to get an offer you'd be proud of, but remember that that's not what makes your short short life worth living. 

On top of that, you have to think about it from another persons perspective. There are people from your school who would kill to have any offers at all. I've been successful in class and in clubs at my college and landed a decent internship, but sometimes I still feel down because my Gpa is a 3.6 instead of a 3.8 or cause an upperclassman landed KKR while I'm at my investment bank. But then I think about my roommates who don't have anything lined up and view me as a huge success even though I think I'm a total fuck up. 

The truth is you're doing better than 99.9999% of humans who have ever lived. I have friends from my hometown who are on probation for trying to hit a baby with a baseball bat in a Walmart (Yes, you read that correctly). Compared to them I like to think I've done pretty well for myself.

Someone will always have a better offer, go to a better school, have a badder bitch, and have more motion than you. But that comparison doesn't matter at all if you can be content with who you are as a man and allow yourself to be happy.

Pray about it too

Also have you ever heard of Busch Apple?

One trick to be happy today: 

You need to be a bit delusional to trick your mind that you’re on plan - playing your own game.  You need to have unique and authentically you type of career goals.   These goals should be way out into the future with milestones along the way.  You have to believe that if you’re good at what you’re doing and enjoy it, that the money will eventually come.  

Now carry on with what you’re doing now.