When your girlfriend is actually killing it in IB…feeling inferior
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years. We met working in the same bank but in different groups and she ended up moving to a BB and getting promoted. She is literally killing it career-wise. She is also the whole package. Smart, gorgeous, fun, and personable. I am glad for her but maybe I am jealous by her success. Who the fuck knows. Or maybe she is moving on to bigger things and leaving me behind. It feels like our roles are now reversed and it’s a tough realization that her career trajectory is outpacing mine. I don’t want to screw up our relationship. Looking for advice here. Please don’t just tell me to man up and stop being a simp. I need to get my head straight before I fuck things up.
>this post definitely wasn't written by a female banker, promise
I’m pressed for time but can add more later.
Quite simply:
Careers are not linear. There will be ups and downs, success and setbacks over an extended period. You need to be her biggest cheerleader throughout that and vice-versa. If she’s that awesome, do not allow your insecurities to poison that relationship. It’s rare to find a partner that can both have a high powered career and be nurturing.
For you, be critical in what you think is going “wrong” career-wise. Do you enjoy IB or are you going through the motions? Does she enjoy it and as such she’s more wired to push herself to succeed? Ask yourself what the hell do you want out of life career-wise. Long-term success in most careers requires some baseline level of “passion” - as corny as that may sound. If she’s just simply outpacing you right now, so the fuck what? Insecurity has got to be the most unattractive thing to a woman but self-improvement is not.
Look dude. At the end of the day, it’s just a job (a high paying one sure) and as you get older and experience how shitty life can be you’ll smile knowing you’ve got an awesome girl in your corner.
hopefully not hitting you with a bunch of platitudes
Appreciate the comment man. You make some good points.
You guys are a team. Be happy for her?
Dude women will date broke ass bums if they’re hot enough
So make sure you stay in shape #1, and dont mope around. You still make great money yourself. Marketing girls would gladly trade up and take her place
In my experience, finance girls and marketing girls alike are allergic to broke ass bums, regardless of the shape they’re in. You’ve got a good one OP, just relax and enjoy.
What is this simp week at WSO?
I agree with the top commenter and he hit the nail on the head. You don't want to have a mindset of "you vs. her" rather "both of you vs. obstacles". This shift will allow you to celebrate in her success without letting your insecurities or envy take over.
Taking on some introspection and looking inward can help you determine what you want out of life both professionally and personally. Some folks, myself included, dive headfirst into these careers with some vague sense of understanding the work or what we're getting into. For some, they realize immediately they dislike it for a number of reasons, the culture, the hours, the monotony, and others, they enjoy it for a number of reasons, the satisfaction, the research, the ecosystem. I'd say take a look and see where you fall in that scale.
On a side note, contrary to popular belief, finding someone who's company you enjoy, and someone you can have an understanding with on a deeper level is a great thing to have.
That's a lie. Couple makes even money, fine that money goes into 1 account. Guy makes more money, they split up to her salary then guy pays. Third, girl makes more money, she spends up to guys salary, then her money is hers and not shared.
That's great for her, and if you feel she's in it for the long haul, that's even better. I'd try to put a ring on it by 28 before PE/HF & generational wealth 6'4" chad makes his way into the picture
Yes. Better yet, pool your resources and collaborate, ensure generational wealth for the future.
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