Where does your satisfaction in life come from?

I always have to be doing something. Whether it is hitting the gym, working on learning a new skill or cultivating a new social circle. Even during the vacation, my daily schedule has involved waking up at the crack of dawn to hit the gym and then the library. 
 

I'm also paradoxically never fully satisfied. Managed to secure an SA offer for a top BB recently and thought I'd be over the moon. Ended up feeling incredibly underwhelming. My parents were more happy than anything. I didn't even bother telling most my friends or anyone I was seeing.
 

I attribute this to growing up in a very asian household alongside being a relatively late bloomer. Feels like I'm sort of a virus, endless growth without a clear purpose. Anyone feel similarly? Does this go away with maturity and age?

61 Comments
 

Helping others.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Most men don't take care of their mental health. Go talk to a professional.

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
Most Helpful

Nah that's what I'm talking about though. You're what - 20? 21? You have a top BB internship, you work out, you are motivated to learn new hobbies and meet new people, but what? You can't chill on a vacation? You can't be happy with your accomplishments? 

You're in the 0.01% or whatever of people for your age. You're about to be in the 0.00001% of income for your age in a year or two. You can't take stock of your situation and think "this is fucking king shit, I'm going to make it?" 

That's mental health right there. You need to talk to someone. Get your mind right early. You can't find your purpose if you're not at peace. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

I’m your age and in the same boat as you. It’s mental health related.

 
TaxHavenFTW

Life is about suffering.

Suffering leads to truth.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Learn to stop and smell the roses. It’s ok to not be productive ALL the time - in fact it’s healthy. Some Asian parents (like mine) ingrain in their kids a sense of guilt whenever they’re not doing “something” but u need to get that shit out of ur head. At least take an hour or 2 a day to just relax, listen to some music or take a walk if you need to, reflect on where you’re at in life and where you want to go. Think about the people and experiences in ur life. Do some introspection. Last thing you wanna do is make all that progress and never stop to think if you’re actually going the right way

 

Thanks man, asian upbringing can be rough lmao. Partly why I wanted to get away from the culture - felt like a big high school where everyone was comparing achievements where I came from. Figure I need to get in touch with my own values rather than the ones hoisted on me since young. 

 
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
The important thing is never to let oneself be guided by the opinion of one's contemporaries; to continue steadfastly on one's way without letting oneself be either defeated by failure or diverted by applause.
 

I've tried to answer that question and found different answers during phases of my life. I'm still in my mid 20s, but what I found is my satisfaction lies in the fact that tomorrow isn't promised. Every day is a new canvas and we can choose how to color that picture. I think that we should never stop searching even when we've found our people or hobbies that make life worthwhile in that moment. I found hobbies that I love and will dedicate my life to, but that doesn't mean it's forever and that is liberating to me. I can see how my actions, thoughts, and energy invested compound on a granular scale after appreciating the present and constant flux of time. I appreciate that moment of clarity and all it takes is one thought or moment. 

I enjoy racing and pour most of my income into it, it showed me that nobody is going to paint the picture but me and everything counts but you can always paint a different picture tomorrow.

 
Controversial

"The most spiritual men, as the strongest, find their happiness where others would find their destruction: in the labyrinth, in hardness against themselves and others, in experiments. Their joy is self-conquest: asceticism becomes in them nature, need, and instinct. Difficult tasks are a privilege to them; to play with burdens that crush others, a recreation" - Nietzsche

and let me tell you that mental health is a fucking scam, let me tell you that wanting to simply enjoy life is also a fucking scam. Mediocrity is not even the word for people that push those ideas, but they're the consequences of being brain-washed. Because the true meaning of life is something that can be seen repeatedly through centuries done by extraordinary people, and not something that became mainstream 10-20 years ago. The fact that mental health and family values is something pushed in the last years is malleable, it was never there, and it's just a consequence of living in an economy that pushes this type of behavior because it fits the political agenda and social order that we live in nowadays, but they're not fit to your biological ego.

So don't seek mental health, embrace your dark side as Jung said and you'll become way more successful than trying all your life to focus on annihilating a part from you, for what, to settle down? McGregor didn't have a fuck about his insanity and that's what pushed him to be a champion. In fact, every great human out there embraced his dark side and didn't spend years trying to kill what makes him be him.

People have no fucking idea what they're talking about because everybody just eats from the same bullshit teaspoon. Find enlightened people that read maybe 50-100 books a year, change your social circles, and you'll see that those insecurities/doubts will disappear. They are there because you think you need to fit certain traits that a shitty society expects from its citizens. Just live how you see fit and never think that you're not ok for not being like some mediocre ideals that to accomplish them would require you to step down and not strive up.

incentives trumph ethics
 
Funniest
Restless

let me tell you that mental health is a fucking scam, let me tell you that wanting to simply enjoy life is also a fucking scam.

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

Ancient Greece had no clue what was mental health and it was probably one of the most prosperous, intellectual, and physically fit societies in history

so mental health is just a consequence of a sick society. Staying all day in an office and a lack of Sun increases chances of depression. Is the solution a therapist? No, the solution is to move and do something else that allows you to be at the top of your game. 

enjoying life = comfort/happiness =/= satisfied life, I can be more satisfied with a hard day of work than with a full day of looking at Netflix or doing some dumb shit

incentives trumph ethics
 
CRE
Restless

let me tell you that mental health is a fucking scam, let me tell you that wanting to simply enjoy life is also a fucking scam.

riiiight 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Restless

"The most spiritual men, as the strongest, find their happiness where others would find their destruction: in the labyrinth, in hardness against themselves and others, in experiments. Their joy is self-conquest: asceticism becomes in them nature, need, and instinct. Difficult tasks are a privilege to them; to play with burdens that crush others, a recreation" - Nietzsche

and let me tell you that mental health is a fucking scam, let me tell you that wanting to simply enjoy life is also a fucking scam. Mediocrity is not even the word for people that push those ideas, but they're the consequences of being brain-washed. Because the true meaning of life is something that can be seen repeatedly through centuries done by extraordinary people, and not something that became mainstream 10-20 years ago. The fact that mental health and family values is something pushed in the last years is malleable, it was never there, and it's just a consequence of living in an economy that pushes this type of behavior because it fits the political agenda and social order that we live in nowadays, but they're not fit to your biological ego.

So don't seek mental health, embrace your dark side as Jung said and you'll become way more successful than trying all your life to focus on annihilating a part from you, for what, to settle down? McGregor didn't have a fuck about his insanity and that's what pushed him to be a champion. In fact, every great human out there embraced his dark side and didn't spend years trying to kill what makes him be him.

People have no fucking idea what they're talking about because everybody just eats from the same bullshit teaspoon. Find enlightened people that read maybe 50-100 books a year, change your social circles, and you'll see that those insecurities/doubts will disappear. They are there because you think you need to fit certain traits that a shitty society expects from its citizens. Just live how you see fit and never think that you're not ok for not being like some mediocre ideals that to accomplish them would require you to step down and not strive up.

Good quote, but not seeking out mental health when needed is a recipe for disaster. Modern psychiatry and psychology is a relatively new, but effective science. Chemical therapy (medication) is an absolute necessity for some people. Are you trying to tell a schizo person to live with the voices in their head? We have come far as a society in mental health and there is no need to belittle it as it has helped millions. Many veterans are plagued by PTSD and mental health professionals do wonders for them. Have you ever encountered a person with severe ADHD who is off their medicine? It’s a disaster. Are you implying for them to not seek help and medication like Vivanse, which helps greatly?

We can go through life facing our battles in tandem with effective mental health. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Restless is right, and he’s probably going to get monkey shit for it. I wasn’t able to find satisfaction, real satisfaction and not contrived contentedness that permeates our society today, when I gave myself up to serve an ideal. The only reason that people are able to have this discussion on this forum, and debate the efficacies of psychiatric drugs versus a hard day’s work in the sun, is because the American ideal gives us this freedom to pursue whatever we desire. I’m sure I’m going to have some people think I’m a military shill, but I’m a true believer, a true patriot. And when I come home from a grueling exercise or an unexpected mission demand and I’m exhausted, barely standing, and waiting to pick up my phone to call my family that I haven’t talked to in a month, I feel more satisfied than I ever did chasing tail in college, getting drunk at a house party, or seeking “enlightenment” in the Central American jungle. I serve a purpose, an ideal, that is greater than myself and it will persist long after I’m gone.

Finding satisfaction is not about finding comfort it’s about finding purpose, and waking up every day to pursue that purpose with every ounce of will power you have.

 
coorslight

Drinking a nice can of coors and watching baseball

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I'm in "semi-retirement" so the money thing is pretty much taken care of.

I'm working (teaching at local U) because I like the mental stimulation of it whilst swatting away megabuck offers to return to the grind.
My satisfaction comes from helping students get a start/foothold in the biz, from proving myself insanely capable every day, and doing it the way that pleases me the most.

 

I try (emphasis on try) to find satisfaction in the mundane.

Pursuing a new strength goal in the gym - currently revisiting the turkish getup and working towards multiple consecutive reps with 50% body weight.

Cooking dinner for my wife - I love to cook. 

Taking the dog for a hike.

Working on a house project - about to put in new flooring. I'll curse my way through the project, but I'll be satisfied once complete. 

IMO, waiting for big life events to occur in order to be satisfied sets you up for a generally unsatisfactory life. You wait for the event to occur, it comes, you are happy/satisfied, then that feeling fades and you are waiting for the next thing. My goal is to really enjoy and be satisfied with my day-to-day. It doesn't always happen, but that's what I strive for. 

 

Contentment - This is the only word you need to know.  Be content in your situation in life, there will always be people doing better or worse than you in some facet of life.  The earlier you learn that the better off you are.  

 

Completely agree - but this is such a different concept to live by. For me it works for a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, but can never really get it to linger on my view on life for the long-term. Any tips on how to make it stick? 

 

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