WSO Caption Contest - August 13th... Collect Silver Bananas and Win a Free WSO T-Shirt

You guys know the drill, all you have to do is leave a comment in this post with a caption you think is most fitting for the cartoon posted below. The winner will be determined by the community based on the number of Silver Bananas awarded to each comment. In the event of a tie, the admins of the site will decide the winner or send out multiple free shirts if we can't decide. Wall Street jokes welcomed and encouraged!


Photo

Rules: caption must be posted before 11:59pm ET this Sunday, winner will be announced on Monday

21 Comments
 

Monkey at bottom of screen: "Why are the pages in this book blank?"

I would... but the truth is I can't sell my soul to myself... http://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/blackknight.asp
 

"Sigh... I wish the Wharton monkeys would leave us University of Phoenix grads alone!!"

I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things
 

Background: Crushed internship - full time offer accepted Foreground: Did not crush internship - the fall is going to suck

The error of confirmation: we confirm our knowledge and scorn our ignorance.
 

Meanwhile at a non-target uni somewhere in the monkey galaxy

2 ignorant monkeys with Big4 Audit offers celebrating because they think they hit the jackpot in life and they are looking forward to great learning curve and structured promotions at KPMG that HR sold em

the rest of the monkeys learned about IB, PE, S&T, BBs, HFs just before it is too late and they are boosting their knowledge trying to make up for the years they spent fucking around and break in with that 3.2 GPA

 

Et suscipit dolor explicabo. Ut numquam consequatur odio delectus. Repudiandae recusandae ipsam ea quia illum a. Laudantium et eaque velit beatae ex perferendis delectus. Consequatur quam est quos et aut.

Ullam dolores fugit id laudantium. Minus qui nihil vel vel.

Career Advancement Opportunities

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 08 97.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 02 97.3%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Evercore No 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.8%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.3%

Professional Growth Opportunities

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.3%

Total Avg Compensation

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (48) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (25) $178
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (83) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (75) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”