Boss always negative and critical
Hi all - I moved from consulting to PE this time last year.
My overall performance (imo) is solid and my boss gave me great reviews at the 6 months probation meeting. Since then, they have been very very critical and negative about my performance and every feedback session it’s them picking out small details about what I do and complaining. Never anything tangible but small things like “last week week we spent 5 mins longer on this deck than we needed” or “we changed X a few times”. There has been no instances of any serious errors or issues.
They gave me very critical feedback last year and in the most recent meeting I said that I have been paying attention to work on those things and have sensed improvements on my end. They said they don’t know if that is true as we haven’t been busy (we have been busy).. their biggest complain now is that I still run things by them but they will be the first to call if I email anyone without discussing with them first…
What are you thoughts on this? Just the normal bs to get you work more or do I need to worry?
Found the main problem when you said "she" instead of they. 1 Timothy 2:11-12
Jordan Peterson highlights this perfectly - the problem with this societal phenomenon is that women are exacting the energy of the "overbearing mother" archetype not onto their children, but rather in their little corporate roles
Is your fund/team doing well? Don't want to sound the alarm but perhaps they are marking you for a PIP and doing the groundwork ahead of time
Fund is doing fine from what I know. Comp was fine too for last year, more or less in line with the average and as I expected. It is a lean team with just the two of us and the day to day seems ok at least from my end
They seem to just want to complain about every single minor thing that has happened during feedback and reviews… they want to manage most things and freaks out sometimes when I email teams without going through them but also complains that I don’t get enough done without their input. The latest complaint this week was that “it seemed like we were working together” on something rather than me just getting it all done.
Not in PE, but having a very similar problem with my male boss. Everything was great, and then suddenly started complaining and coming up with BS reasons. I could literally write a whole book on that. I started looking to lateral, because I won't convince him to like me. I didn't do anything wrong or weird, but I assume that unexpected change in attidute may stem from being preparing for PIP or something, dunno
If you're in a senior role, my advice is to be completely honest and assertive. It's crucial to stand up for yourself and your work—don't let anyone push you around, as it could continue if you let it slide. I faced a similar situation recently, and when I spoke up honestly, it hasn't happened again since. Once again this is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.
what role you define as senior? analyst level, or from associate onwards, or higher like VP etc?
Yep. I think it garners more respect for you from your / your seniors’ seniors too.
This isn’t high school, this is real life and your livelihood. You gotta stand up for yourself if someone is misrepresenting you.
They also went through a phase (between 6-12 months before the horrible feedback session at year ended) where at any time I expressed a view or suggestion or comment during a meeting (big or small), they will derail the whole call just to argue with me and prove I’m wrong and it’s their way or the high way.. this has stopped after they vented at the feedback call.
If you were a friend, here is the advice I would give you.
Although PE tries to present itself as a meritocracy, politics matter a ton. I know many middle of the road performers who are in senior management at top PE firms. This story is as old as time, and it happens every day.
My advice would be to be direct and transparent. If you feel like they are being petty for the sake of being petty, then how do you think the promotion conversation is going to go?
Try to get clear feedback on performance expectations and then exceed those expectations. If they won’t give you specifics, you are probably fighting a losing battle. Poor managers hide behind opacity.
It does seem to be the case of a poor manager here tbh… they are very unorganised and manic and they seem to get very insecure/nervous when we interact with other teams and especially certain other partners. They are also a partner at the firm.
They will actively say on calls to juniors in other teams “I know what we did looks really shit and im so sorry” even though we agreed on the content before the call and seemed ok with it all.. does seem like the bad/vague feedback is to mask their own inability a little bit…
I can't agree with this enough but let me go a step further. It is something that I found unsaid but extremely true, at least in both IB and PE: the winners on the corporate ladders in those two industries are the people with a baseline of competence who are very good at playing the game and getting the right people to like them. Note that this does not necessarily mean the hardest working, most intelligent, or most capable, etc. necessarily succeed. There are plenty of people who try to play the game and fail (kiss-asses / brown nosers) so it can backfire too; I think the key is to know how to read a room and figure out who actually likes you vs. who is fake.
You don't need to be the boss's favorite, but that definitely does help you move up the chain (see: Kim Posnett and David Solomon at GS). I wanted to respond to this because I had a very similar experience on my very first project in IB with a guy who I could not win with. He did a lot to attack me/my ability behind my back, was rude / disrespectful and it became clear to everyone who heard our interactions that he was on a power trip (standing up to him was a losing battle, period).
I solved my problem by performing to best of my ability on that project / team and politely (but firmly) asking my staffer to never put me on a team with that person again. I found new opportunities to work with different people on the floor and demonstrated my value-add to a sufficient number of others that I recovered, had a strong performance review etc. Offer you same advice; don't get down on yourself and fight on forever, no matter how shitty the situation is. Best of luck
Facing a similar issue. Boss claims I need hand holding but whenever I run things independently they flip out as to why I didn’t run XYZ by them.
Maintain pride in your gait. This scenario is pretty common, unfortunately. Good performers can easily be screwed for political reasons. Does the individual you report to have a history of sabotaging subordinates? What's the avg turnover rate of prior employees that worked in your seat? Managers that "manage people out", which is illegal btw, will have a history of doing it to others. Identifiable patterns will exist. I've been gaslit once, similar to how you mentioned - it was infuriating initially but then became comical as I know that I'm very good at what I do.
Life is too short to be gaslit by a cuck middle manager. Find senior individuals elsewhere with shared values and align yourself.
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