Does working at Apollo solve my problems ?

signed to a top eb for summer 2024 (PJT RSSG/EVR m&a/Qatalyst) at a top target (Harvard/Wharton/Princeton/Yale) Feel very accomplished in life. However I have been completely working my ass off since the beginning of high school (thanks tiger parents). I have yet to kiss a girl or have sex on my campus. I regret so much. But now with this SA offer at a great eb I feel I have to make one more step and I can land a great mfpe offer.I was wondering if magically landing a spot at Apollo would get all the girls to finally open their legs for me. Any tips wso?

I hope this is satire, but honestly can't tell. Goes to show the misguided ways of people in this industry who literally trade their entire life for a taste of "prestige".

Nope, it won’t.

You have achieved 10/10 ratings in all things achievement and prestige wise to this point.

But how are your social skills? Do you take care of your body and health? Any friends? 7/10 in as many categories as you can (above average at least) in all aspects of life lead to a really well rounded person.


Apollo will definitely help you get fucked 

Lift, spend time with your boys, learn a Romance language, pick up a minor in a liberal arts subject, read a fiction novel, learn how to cook some dishes — overall, just get comfortable with making improvements with yourself over time. Your goal shouldn’t be to sleep with “x” many girls, but just to improve yourself and feel good. Everything else will follow.

Did yall know that Gene Fama deadass majored in Romance Languages in undergrad? 

What even is it?

this reminds me of what my mother always said growing up about money just amplifying who you are. to that end, no, if you’re a nerd at apollo clearing 7 figures (ik comp isn’t that high as aso but humor me) you’re just a super nerd. work on your other qualities (gym, grooming, social skills, good style, etc). having money (or prestige) will unlock ways for you to more easily become well rounded (eg. can afford a better diet), but it’s not gonna change who you are.

1. No job whatever it is will automatically get you laid or make you fuckable (unless you are a pornstar but I doubt you have the facilities - no offence)

2. Girls that are willing to sleep with you solely cause of your income are NOT the kind you want to attract

3. You probably won't get girls at Apollo if you can't get them at uni with basically unlimited opportunity and free time comparatively

4. The number one thing you need to work on before your looks, your body, fashion etc is your social skills (having tiger parents + your success in school indicates you probably spent lots of time studying vs socialising as a kid) 

Most of an individual's social skills are built during childhood so they are very difficult to develop as an adult. Initially, you will probably come across as unnatural but over time it will become second nature. 

Finally, trust me, girls are not the end all be all. You should much rather focus on developing meaningful relationships - the girls will come.

Et possimus omnis deleniti non laborum. Dolores voluptate tenetur omnis incidunt inventore. Vel nulla nostrum quisquam quo sed ad velit voluptas. Ullam omnis nulla sit impedit sint saepe veritatis aut.

Sunt autem omnis repudiandae vel. Voluptas eum sit recusandae libero reiciendis.

Career Advancement Opportunities

September 2023 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Warburg Pincus 98.9%
  • Blackstone Group 98.4%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 97.9%
  • Bain Capital 97.4%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

September 2023 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Blackstone Group 98.9%
  • Ardian 98.4%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 97.9%
  • Bain Capital 97.4%

Professional Growth Opportunities

September 2023 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Bain Capital 98.9%
  • Warburg Pincus 98.4%
  • Blackstone Group 97.9%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 97.4%

Total Avg Compensation

September 2023 Private Equity

  • Principal (8) $676
  • Director/MD (22) $599
  • Vice President (88) $361
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (87) $277
  • 2nd Year Associate (197) $267
  • 1st Year Associate (376) $227
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (28) $157
  • 2nd Year Analyst (80) $133
  • 1st Year Analyst (237) $122
  • Intern/Summer Associate (31) $81
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (305) $59
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”