Investment Banking and PE in Dubai from NYC

MY G's, how we livin?!?? So i done peeped a few questions similar to this but since my story is more personal, I figured I'd smoke a bowl and write this out and ask a question for y'all to kindly assist with my future. 

Background:

I went to a top 25 non-ivy university, and work at a high end private wealth management firm as a senior associate, got promoted from associate. Ive been working here for about 2 years. 

Not gonna lie, since im an absolute unit of a specimen I raw dogged my way to the top of this career and i think i want more in my life, y'all feel? 

So im gonna finesse my way into an m7 mba, and im going to go into investment banking. I am gonna do this because i currently work like 80 hrs a week so im already used to the lifestyle. just a lot more bread in IB. 

So im thinking in 2-3 yrs ill be an IB associate, still smokin that good kush and living the hard life. Keep in mind I am in nyc. 

But you know, I didnt choose the streets, the streets chose me, so there is the real dilemma and why I wrote a 1000 word thesis on WSO here today. After running through my share of the female population imma convert to islam and move to dubai. 

So i want to understand how i can set myself up now so I can better equipped for this change in lifestyle. Which firms should i consider? 

BONUS QUESTION:

If you answer the below question, Ill love you forever type shit:

Given I got into IB the MBA route, how do I break into PE? Dont tell me its hard, anything is doable gs! 

I also would love some information about PE in Dubai. Do I break into PE in NYC first and then transfer? or do I transfer to dubai as a banker? lemme know please?

I need you to help I am losing my hair because of how stressed I am.