A new member of the Vayner/Chiang club!!!

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A new cocky asshole has broken into the epic recruiting fail scene! Seems people will never learn.

Let's see if we can be the first site to figure out his identity.


From: [redacted]
Sent: Monday, February 14, 2011 11:55 AM
To: [redacted at Citi]
Subject: Re: Citi Sales, Trading & Quantitative Analysis Summer Analyst Program
Hi [redacted]:
Thank you so much for replying my email!!
Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten math majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! Shelli’s stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!
Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the trading can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!

May God’s wrath descends, and the world becomes round again, rather than flat! May Wall Street realize its originally obscure identity as a mere defending street against the English colonizers! Beware Ozymandias, beware! If I come to power one day, surely I will follow unfalteringly the foot steps of Andrew Jackson, exterminating these unsatisfying and heinous vermins first and foremost, breaching the seemingly unbreakable pillbox of the shameless bankers, advocating the glory of justice, and spreading the merrying news of equality and happiness!
So help me, God!

(Source: DealBreaker)

http://dealbreaker.com/2011/02/citi-summer-analys…

Comments (44)

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 2:28pm

yes , I was literally waiting for a new one all week long....seems a bit unreal though

poor guys who just dont seem to have common sense.

"too good to be true"

See my WSO Blog

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 2:37pm

Nah, these things tend to be faster on dealbraker than I can get a hold of them. I am sure though we can track this thing soon enough.

"too good to be true"

See my WSO Blog

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 2:49pm

The dude seems like he doesn't have a great grasp of the English language. Plural problems and a lot of thesaurus words, who "point[s] out the mars"? It took me a few to understand he meant the mistakes rather than the planet.

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 
Feb 15, 2011 - 3:15pm

Wow. I'm impressed. The kid's bonkers and I'm left thouroughly amused. Great job throwing out the Dealbreaker link.

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 3:24pm

Nouveau Richie:
the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!!

Wrong spelling on 'mistakes'. I love it.

Get busy living
 
Feb 15, 2011 - 4:42pm

IlliniProgrammer:
Beware Ozymandias, beware!

Oh dear! I hope my posts didn't lead to this. Percey Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias is a kinda obscure poem in most finance circles and so far as I know, I'm the only one who quotes it in the context of finance online...

//IlliniProgrammer feels a deep sense of guilt...

Favorite poem. No homo.

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 4:05pm

Haha, that's unreal. This week gets better and better.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.

 
Feb 15, 2011 - 6:27pm

Could anyone else see Blastoise, cracked out on lack of sleep and Red Bull writing something like this in a fit of rage?

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 
Feb 15, 2011 - 11:23pm

HPM:
Could anyone else see Blastoise, cracked out on lack of sleep and Red Bull writing something like this in a fit of rage?

I'm kind of hoping to see him fly off the handle in some innocuous manner, I can't even imagine how funny it would be.

Get busy living
 
Feb 15, 2011 - 11:13pm

Honestly if i was a high up banker or c level at Citi I would hire this person to be the company spokes person. Honestly when there is a PR flap just send this guy out with his mindless ramblings and it will be the talk of the town and everyone will have forgotten about what the problem was

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Feb 17, 2011 - 6:36pm

Either it is someone who is very good at making fun of the classic engineering stereotype or the classic engineering stereotype. "Engineering is so much harder than Finance." " Very True. How much is your offer for that civil engineering job paying? Oh, 45 grand? Have fun with that."

When you are great, people will often mistake candor for arrogance.
 
Feb 18, 2011 - 11:18am

consulting_rookie:
Either it is someone who is very good at making fun of the classic engineering stereotype or the classic engineering stereotype. "Engineering is so much harder than Finance." " Very True. How much is your offer for that civil engineering job paying? Oh, 45 grand? Have fun with that."

Since when does being harder have anything to do with making money? Engineers can always go for finance jobs if that's what they're looking for. Sorry you're stuck in consulting.

 
Feb 18, 2011 - 5:14pm

A buddy of mine from college was interviewing for a company and he thought he had the job easy, turns out they hired his competition he sent a similar email to that company and the owner thought it was so great that he offered him a different position. Not that I suggest doing this for anything in Wall Street.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Feb 19, 2011 - 6:21am

here was my cover letter to goldman sachs

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please interview me. Why?

I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.

I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am to smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.

Finally,
I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.

 
Feb 22, 2011 - 12:04pm

blastoise:
here was my cover letter to goldman sachs

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please interview me. Why?

I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.

I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am to smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.

Finally,
I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.

If I read that cover letter I would make sure you got an interview hahaha.

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