A new member of the Vayner/Chiang club!!!

Nouveau Richie's picture
Rank: Neanderthal | 3,476

A new cocky asshole has broken into the epic recruiting fail scene! Seems people will never learn.

Let's see if we can be the first site to figure out his identity.

From: [redacted]
Sent: Monday, February 14, 2011 11:55 AM
To: [redacted at Citi]
Subject: Re: Citi Sales, Trading & Quantitative Analysis Summer Analyst Program
Hi [redacted]:
Thank you so much for replying my email!!
Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten math majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! Shelli's stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!
Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the trading can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!

May God's wrath descends, and the world becomes round again, rather than flat! May Wall Street realize its originally obscure identity as a mere defending street against the English colonizers! Beware Ozymandias, beware! If I come to power one day, surely I will follow unfalteringly the foot steps of Andrew Jackson, exterminating these unsatisfying and heinous vermins first and foremost, breaching the seemingly unbreakable pillbox of the shameless bankers, advocating the glory of justice, and spreading the merrying news of equality and happiness!
So help me, God!

(Source: DealBreaker)

http://dealbreaker.com/2011/02/citi-summer-analyst...

Comments (44)

Feb 15, 2011

yes , I was literally waiting for a new one all week long....seems a bit unreal though

poor guys who just dont seem to have common sense.

Feb 15, 2011

GBB, did you receive it as a forward earlier in the week then?

Feb 15, 2011

Nah, these things tend to be faster on dealbraker than I can get a hold of them. I am sure though we can track this thing soon enough.

Feb 15, 2011

It honestly seems fake but I wonder why someone would want to Vayner himself like this unless he was completely oblivious to what he was doing.

Feb 15, 2011

The dude seems like he doesn't have a great grasp of the English language. Plural problems and a lot of thesaurus words, who "point[s] out the mars"? It took me a few to understand he meant the mistakes rather than the planet.

Reality hits you hard, bro...

Feb 15, 2011

if this is real, it's a great testament to the importance of being humble and hungry

Feb 15, 2011

God I love recruiting season, brings out the best in people.

Feb 15, 2011
Nouveau Richie:

So help me, God!

Hahahaha

Feb 15, 2011

Wow. I'm impressed. The kid's bonkers and I'm left thouroughly amused. Great job throwing out the Dealbreaker link.

Feb 15, 2011

Ehhh, if not for the megalomaniacal rant, he might have a bit of a point about the industry.

Feb 15, 2011

Oh I how I hope this is real. This is PURE gold.

Feb 15, 2011
Nouveau Richie:

the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!!

Wrong spelling on 'mistakes'. I love it.

Feb 15, 2011

Hilarious

Feb 15, 2011

Beware Ozymandias, beware!

Oh dear! I hope my posts didn't lead to this. Percey Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias is a kinda obscure poem in most finance circles and so far as I know, I'm the only one who quotes it in the context of finance online...

//IlliniProgrammer feels a deep sense of guilt...

Feb 15, 2011
IlliniProgrammer:

Beware Ozymandias, beware!

Oh dear! I hope my posts didn't lead to this. Percey Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias is a kinda obscure poem in most finance circles and so far as I know, I'm the only one who quotes it in the context of finance online...

//IlliniProgrammer feels a deep sense of guilt...

Favorite poem. No homo.

Feb 15, 2011

Hire this man!

Feb 15, 2011

Don't worry Illini, it's definitely not that obscure.

Feb 15, 2011

Maybe it's Raj of BIWS-gate fame staying true to form once again.

Feb 15, 2011

Guys, he's an engineer. To us non-liberal-arts-school engineers, Catcher in the Rye or anything not written by JRR Tolkien for that matter is obscure.

Feb 15, 2011

Haha, that's unreal. This week gets better and better.

Feb 15, 2011
A Posse Ad Esse:

Haha, that's unreal. This week gets better and better.

Yeah man, after last week, this is refreshing.

Feb 15, 2011

lmaoooo this is too good to be real

i mean no one can be THAT stupid, right?

Feb 15, 2011

Could anyone else see Blastoise, cracked out on lack of sleep and Red Bull writing something like this in a fit of rage?

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 15, 2011
HPM:

Could anyone else see Blastoise, cracked out on lack of sleep and Red Bull writing something like this in a fit of rage?

I'm kind of hoping to see him fly off the handle in some innocuous manner, I can't even imagine how funny it would be.

Feb 15, 2011
Feb 15, 2011

Raj Verma? Is that you?

Feb 15, 2011

. dumb comment

Feb 15, 2011

Dude, I hope it's Raj. Then I can say I've personally witnessed his rise from witless troll into a full-fledged legend.

Feb 15, 2011

While the spelling is wanting and the whole premise of the email is somewhat ridiculous, I do give the writer points for a well-played Shelley reference.

Feb 15, 2011
pfitzy:

While the spelling is wanting and the whole premise of the email is somewhat ridiculous, I do give the writer points for a well-played Shelley reference.

lol

Feb 16, 2011
rebelcross:
pfitzy:

While the spelling is wanting and the whole premise of the email is somewhat ridiculous, I do give the writer points for a well-played Shelley reference.

lol

When in fact there is a Shelli who runs ST&QA lol

Feb 15, 2011

Sort of sounds like the Koran.

I mean that in a good way.

Feb 15, 2011
Juwanna Mann:

Sort of sounds like the Koran.

I almost spat out my food on my keyboard.

Feb 15, 2011

Honestly if i was a high up banker or c level at Citi I would hire this person to be the company spokes person. Honestly when there is a PR flap just send this guy out with his mindless ramblings and it will be the talk of the town and everyone will have forgotten about what the problem was

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Feb 17, 2011

Either it is someone who is very good at making fun of the classic engineering stereotype or the classic engineering stereotype. "Engineering is so much harder than Finance." " Very True. How much is your offer for that civil engineering job paying? Oh, 45 grand? Have fun with that."

When you are great, people will often mistake candor for arrogance.

Feb 18, 2011
consulting_rookie:

Either it is someone who is very good at making fun of the classic engineering stereotype or the classic engineering stereotype. "Engineering is so much harder than Finance." " Very True. How much is your offer for that civil engineering job paying? Oh, 45 grand? Have fun with that."

Since when does being harder have anything to do with making money? Engineers can always go for finance jobs if that's what they're looking for. Sorry you're stuck in consulting.

    • 1
Feb 18, 2011

A buddy of mine from college was interviewing for a company and he thought he had the job easy, turns out they hired his competition he sent a similar email to that company and the owner thought it was so great that he offered him a different position. Not that I suggest doing this for anything in Wall Street.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Feb 19, 2011

I don't accept sacrifices and I don't make them. ... If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade at all. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Feb 20, 2011
ah:

Here's another new memeber:

http://dealbreaker.com/2011/02/hedge-fund-applican...

Old news bro.

Feb 19, 2011

here was my cover letter to goldman sachs

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please interview me. Why?

I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.

I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am to smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.

Finally,
I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.

Feb 22, 2011
blastoise:

here was my cover letter to goldman sachs

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please interview me. Why?

I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.

I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am to smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.

Finally,
I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.

If I read that cover letter I would make sure you got an interview hahaha.

Feb 21, 2011
Comment
Feb 22, 2011