I bumped into Lloyd Blankfein on the street and called him Jamie Dimon
Disclaimer: I've made a throwaway account due to the crippling embarrassment of what just happened to me and my fear of being connected to this in anyway.
I'm starting at Goldman Sachs in a few weeks, bumped into Lloyd Blankfein leaving a building near Columbus Circle in NY and fucking said "Jamie Dimon, can I take a photo with you?" He turned around and with a confused look on his face said "I'm not Jamie Dimon" and walked off. I literally couldn't move as I quickly realized that I, with a few simple words, have brought shame upon all the sperm cells that lost their lives in giving me mine.
I wish this was a joke. I literally just got my offer three weeks ago and have day dreamed about what I would say to this guy if I ever bumped into him and I pull this shit...
Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #15 (based on # of silver bananas)