I bumped into Lloyd Blankfein on the street and called him Jamie Dimon

Disclaimer: I've made a throwaway account due to the crippling embarrassment of what just happened to me and my fear of being connected to this in anyway.

I'm starting at Goldman Sachs in a few weeks, bumped into Lloyd Blankfein leaving a building near Columbus Circle in NY and fucking said "Jamie Dimon, can I take a photo with you?" He turned around and with a confused look on his face said "I'm not Jamie Dimon" and walked off. I literally couldn't move as I quickly realized that I, with a few simple words, have brought shame upon all the sperm cells that lost their lives in giving me mine.

I wish this was a joke. I literally just got my offer three weeks ago and have day dreamed about what I would say to this guy if I ever bumped into him and I pull this shit...

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #15 (based on # of silver bananas)

Comments (78)

Best Response
Dec 6, 2017

You have brought shame to your family and to WSO. Self disembowelment may be your only viable option remaining.

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Dec 5, 2017

I've collected my belongings and am preparing to commit seppuku

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Dec 10, 2017
CalledLloydJamie:

I've collected my belongings and am preparing to commit seppuku

One does not commit seppuku; seppuku is performed.

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Jan 15, 2018

should've called him daddy

JC, john cena, jesus christ, etc.

    • 3
Dec 5, 2017

Cool story brah

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Dec 5, 2017

Trust me I wish this was BS

Dec 30, 2017
CalledLloydJamie:

Trust me I wish this was BS

If this is legit, you have to jovially call him Jamie again next time you see him and play it off as a big joke.

It will work beautifully if you play it well.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Dec 5, 2017

Lmao @ your username

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Dec 5, 2017

It speaks many truths

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Dec 5, 2017

Look at the bright side. At least you weren't riding down the elevator or leaving GS corporate offices together when you did this. You might as well be a joe-schmo to him.

I do have to ask you though, who the hell asks bankers for a picture? What were you going to do with it? Frame your selfie and put it in your cubicle?

    • 23
Dec 5, 2017

I just got the offer and am still pretty excited honestly. I planned on sending it to a few friends who also got offers at Goldman

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Dec 6, 2017

What will happen on day one when Lloyd goes in front of the new hires to welcome you? He will probably spot you in the crowd and hilarity will ensue.

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Dec 5, 2017

With eyesight like that is Amy Schumer a 10/10 in your opinion?

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Dec 5, 2017

I frequently mistake Amy Schumer for Harvey Weinstein

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Dec 5, 2017

He won't remember a small fry like yourself

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Dec 5, 2017

And I'm VERY happy that is the case

Dec 5, 2017

Haha I bumped into Rupert Murdoch and called him Lloyd Blankfein -- then i proceeded to shake his hand after eating ribs and not having washed them.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Dec 5, 2017

I want to believe!

Dec 5, 2017

He probably assumed you knew who he was but you were trying to piss him off by calling him Jamie Dimon.

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Dec 5, 2017

Who knows. I just hope that he doesn't remember this godforsaken interaction if by some long shot I get the opportunity to interact with him again

Dec 5, 2017

You should have done a litmus test by shouting "i love bitcoin". An adverse reaction would probably signalled who is who hahaha

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Dec 5, 2017

Best response yet. I would immediately know it's the real Jamie if I get a shoe thrown at my head

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Dec 5, 2017
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Dec 6, 2017

Oh my nerds

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Dec 6, 2017

This would be a mediocre story, but your username is hilarious. Well done.

Dec 6, 2017

being in admiration over someone like lloyd blankfein is everything that is wrong with new banking analysts

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Dec 6, 2017

elaborate?

Dec 5, 2017

According to your recent posts you were 19 about a year ago. Please calm your tits oh so wise one, tumultuous titties wont do yah to well in life

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Dec 7, 2017
CalledLloydJamie:

According to your recent posts you were 19 about a year ago. Please calm your tits oh so wise one, tumultuous titties wont do yah to well in life

They've gotten me a couple glasses of house wine and a Grand slam at Denny's...so who's the wise one now?

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

    • 4
Dec 6, 2017

it doesnt really take any wisdom to recognize that idolizing a banker is pathetic beyond belief.

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Dec 7, 2017

I am your idol. Bow down and worship me, bitch!

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Dec 7, 2017

LMAO get fawwkkeeeed loser

    • 8
Oct 11, 2018

bill murray laughing

Dec 7, 2017

The poor man went through Chemo last year... and you called him JAMIE DIMON?

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Oct 11, 2018

Same poor man is now doing hard Ayahuasca

Dec 7, 2017

This is such an insult to Jamie Dimon

ba dum tss

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Dec 7, 2017

SHAME SHAME SHAME

Dec 7, 2017

No worries guy, BB CEOs are just like college girls. Call em by the wrong name and they may be angry at first, but eventually they'll come crawling back. I bet you make MD in no time

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Dec 10, 2017

Treat em like dirt and they stick like mud, this kid will be the youngest associate in the bank's history

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Dec 7, 2017

Not sure a throwaway account will really do you any good. Also, how did you confuse a bald guy with a guy with hair?

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Dec 7, 2017

He might remember you too. He seems to have a pretty good memory.

    • 1
Dec 7, 2017

I hope you share the elevator with him on your first (last?) day. Come back and give an update if you do.

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Dec 7, 2017

Guy's like god of Wall St to many fresh-faced kids. Lord knows what shit they blab from the excitement of seeing him. I guarantee you're not in the minority. Even if he remembers its improbable that he'll hold a vendetta. Shit happens. Move on. Time is $$

    • 4
Dec 7, 2017

I am personally offended by this statement

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Dec 7, 2017

No doubt about it, Jamie is better looking than Lloyd thus remembering the former name better.

Dec 7, 2017

Ha, funny.I actually saw Lloyd Blankfein at a Duane Read in NYC last summer.

I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, "Oh, like you're doing now?"

I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "huh? huh? huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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Dec 5, 2017

How positive are you that this was Lloyd Blankfein and not a bald homeless man?

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Dec 8, 2017
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Dec 8, 2017

This may be the funniest comment since the LSO days

Dec 8, 2017

Lloyd may have been having a bad day, but don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon.

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Dec 8, 2017

When he said, "I'm not Jamie Dimon", you should have said, "yeah, and with that attitude you never will be!" Haha

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Dec 8, 2017

Lol, I would hire you just for having done this

Dec 8, 2017

@Lloyd BIankfein pls add color. Did you cry when you got home?

Dec 8, 2017

In my dream reality, LB would've replied, "No problem, Bud Fox."

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Dec 8, 2017

Let's assume the OP is not trolling. How can you possibly get them mixed up? They look nothing alike.

I have a similar story of where Citadel's Ken Griffin was in my apartment building because he was cheating on his wife with a girl who lived there. We were in the same elevator, and he could tell by the way I looked at him that I knew who he was. Lol.

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Dec 8, 2017

That is unreal hahahahahah.

Dec 8, 2017

Haha, I saw Blankfein coming out of the Goldman building a couple of months ago when I was on my bike and asked to take a photo. I guess when a 17 year old asks for a pic, its not very urgent. Anyways, he told me he had to run so no picture was taken!

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Dec 8, 2017

I wouldn't worry...all you millennials look the same to us olds.

Dec 8, 2017

Who?

Dec 9, 2017

So what happens when someone he works with closely forwards this to him (since it's circulating all over LinkedIn and elsewhere), he remembers this encounter, and then reads this and finds out you're an incoming GS banker? He may remember this encounter and your face. Or he may not and then nothing may come of this, but I would've kept it to myself in the off chance what I just described happens. Not worth blasting the internet about it just to tell strangers you fucked up

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Dec 5, 2017

Good point! Except, no, not really. Nothing bad will come of me telling a light-hearted and funny embarrassing story. If Lloyd remembers me, in any capacity, although insanely unlikely that would be pretty cool.

Dec 9, 2017

when he sees you in the elevator

Dec 10, 2017

Why would you even go public with this? This just got posted on Linked In. So now he'll definitely remember you and you'll have a 50/50 chance that he not going to like you mucb
Privacy is huge to LB.

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Dec 5, 2017

The fact that you just called him LB is... "interesting." Also, you really think your boy LB has time to scroll around LinkedIn and WSO, let alone even remember something life this happening in the first place?

Dec 10, 2017

Of course "Lloyd Blankfein" doesn't have time to scroll through LI or WSO. But don't you think someone will bring it to his attention? It was the first thing that popped up on my LI feed. I'm not hating, but firms are increasingly warning employees about what their posting on social networks. Just be careful. While the rest of the WSO community might find it cute and funny, he might not.

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Dec 5, 2017

I think you're assuming this is something he would remember even a day later, let alone the amount of time it would take for me to see him again. And even if he did remember, and then by some ungodly chance read this, do you honestly think he would be pissed at someone nervously screwing up in a pretty funny way?

Dec 10, 2017

I'm curious if you put "Attention to detail" on your resume or mentioned it as a skill in your interview for the job...

Does the Tiger fire the Monkey? Does the Tiger transfer the Monkey to another branch?

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Dec 10, 2017

Excellent power move; playing hard to get and coming off as mysterious.

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Dec 11, 2017

Are you asian OP? Because it looks a lot like "Yeah I'm asian and all caucasians look the same" type of stuff...

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Dec 18, 2017

Don't see what the big deal is? Stop putting a CEO of a bank on top of a pedestal. Remember that he is just a person like you and nothing special, and you will go far. If anything for all you know lloyd blankfein is a sick fuck who hides all of his insecurities constantly hoping he won't ever be found out.

Jan 13, 2018

Sorry to revive old thread, but if you're ever feeling down again, don't let this distract you from the fact that the Falcon's blew a 28-3 lead

Mar 16, 2018
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