Please review my Resume and Cover Letter. http://www.razume.com/documents/28802
I have attached my Resume and Cover Letter. I am from a top 50 university. I play a division 1 sport while being a stand out student. I am applying for summer intern positions in IBanking and Private Equity.
They wouldn't allow me to attach my razume because I am new to Wall Street Oasis, so I attached a picture and put the link in my title.
Please rip my Resume and Cover Letter apart and give me any advice you can. The body of my Cover Letter is below
Thanks!
Mr. Smith:
I am writing to introduce myself with the hope that I may be considered for a Summer Analyst Intern position. This summer I completed my Bachelor of Science degree in three years with a concentration in Finance and Economics and a minor in Accounting. I am currently pursuing a Masters in Mathematics and Certificate in Financial Mathematics at XXXXXXX and will be pursuing a Masters in Finance next fall, while continuing to compete for XXXXXXXX team.
I am a member of the XXXXXXX Team which has taught me how to work and communicate in a team setting, where the objective is to succeed as an individual, but more importantly as a group. We recently completed our best season in school history and I was named player of the week three times and finished the season ranked Xth nationally at my position. Additionally, I have learned to properly balance my time between my accelerated and advanced academic curriculum and my lacrosse obligations. Lastly, being a D1 athlete leads to an incredible sense of competitiveness and tireless work ethic, ultimately leading to results and success both on and off the field.
My academic course load and my previous work experience have been excellent preparation for the business world. My accelerated course load with numerous economic, business, finance, and accounting classes, has led to a comprehensive theoretical understanding of the material, which has led to an impressive cumulative and major GPA. Working as a Financial Analyst and Accounting Intern at XXXXXXXX. has helped me apply the theory I have learned in the classroom and learn about the business world in a more practical and applied sense. This has led to an outstanding foundation upon which I can continue to build.
Attached is my resume as well as a reference for review. I would like to thank you for taking time to review my resume and considering me for a Summer Analyst Intern position. I would greatly appreciate this opportunity and feel it would be an invaluable experience. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Im no expert on cover letters and all, but I am not going to lie I almost fell asleep while reading it. I would try to add something in there about your passion for IB or P/E and why all of your past experiences will make you successful in what ever program you are applying too. Maybe you can talk about how you want to work in a fast paced environment where failure is not an option just like with you D1 team. I think you need to spice it up, but like I said I am no expert.
Thanks. I've been getting mixed reviews on the Cover Letter, that is for sure. Did you have a chance to take a look at my resume?
How important are cover letters in the application process? Are they even read? I heard that most of the times, cover letters are pushed aside and never read. Is this true?
I heard it depends on the company and the people involved. I would also imagine that different people would also have different opinions of the same cover letter.
Under Investment Group, change create on the third bullet point to created (keep everything in past tense) also with that bullet point maybe say Created research reports with recommendations to buy (a company you made a report on), hold (one of your companies) and sell (another one of your companies) using Bloomberg and financial models (maybe say what models you used). Also something to look at is you use Researched as your first word on all three of your experiences. Under investment group change the word uncovered sounds weird. Just a few of the things I would change.
WSO Resume Review Score*: 12 (out of 15 possible)
Total Score: 12 (= competitive resume)
Some explanation of the grading:
1, Wording/Bullets: This score represents the overall wording of the bullets and content throughout the resume. Are there action words? are the experiences explained clearly? Does the candidate quantify their impact where possible?
Layout/Format: This score represents to overall layout and format. Finance professionals are notorious for being anal. Although this score is somewhat subjective, there are certain things we look for including consistency, spacing, clean look, clear sections, proper order, etc.
Overall: This score represents the experiences and school of the candidate and is the hardest to change in the short term. Improving the Wording/Bullets and Layout/Format scores can bump this grade up (usually by 1 grade at most), however, this grade depends largely on the School, GPA, Internships, Leadership, Extracurriculars of the applicant, etc.
We are going to try to provide a candid / direct grading system for as many resumes as we can in this Public Resume Review forum, with the hopes that it will lead candidates that need help on #1. and #2 criteria to consider the WSO Resume Review service that has experienced professionals ready to help bring the #1 and #2 score as close to a 4 or 5 as possible. Due to time contraints, I can't provide more detail and I can only provide this grade to each candidate once (if you try to repost and updated version under a different username, i will recognize it and ignore). What I will say is that if you aren't at a 4 or 5 in Wording and Layout, we can probably help you make significant improvments.
Some more guidelines for total overall score:
3 - 6: Needs MAJOR help / improvements in several areas 7 - 8: Has some major flaws but also has some good areas 9 - 11: An average to slightly above average resume that could still use some help but it is on "ok" shape 12 - 13: A competitive resume that should be able to land some competitive interviews 14 - 15: An impressive resume for on all or almost all levels. Wording/Bullets/Layout/format and overall experience, grades, school, etc are all excellent or very good.
We suggest if you score in the bottom 3 categories listed above that you strongly consider the WSO Resume Review service. Whatever you decide, best of luck!
Thanks, Patrick
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