Mod Note (Andy): Over the holidays we'll be posting some of the best posts from 2013, enjoy!
To whom it may concern,
On my resume I have it to say that I earned my yellow belt in Taekwondo which is very impressive feat to accomplish that, but truth of the matter is I am only white belt with yellow stripe. My sensei told me I would get to yellow soon but I got carried away on a group project making my diorama for Humanities and missed the class I needed so only white belt with yellow stripe still.
I am scared that my hedge fund is going to find out about this malfeasance. I talked with portfolio manager for many minutes about my taekwondo and I think if he found out about not having attained yellow belt status, he would fire me. So my question, monkeys, is, will the HR find out when they run background check that I am in fact only white belt with yellow stripe? Do they look through pictures from my classes that get put on the bulletin board and on website? Are they allowed to contact sensei without permissions?
Please advice me, thanks.
If this HF is SAC Capital, I heard they do intensive background search. (Confirmed by HR)
Actually by law the PM must conduct that part of the background check in the form of a duel. You must prove that you are indeed yellow belt or face public beating and humiliation along with shame on your family.
Nice try troll Sensei is a japanese word and Taekwondo is korean. Even a white belt would know this
but i'm only white belt yellow stripe :(
BH... well played...
So many of these absurd types of posts recently.... Unbelievable... I don't know why these kids ask these things
I too have been incredibly irritated by the idiocy of some of these posts. Typically, when evaluating whether or not to post something on WSO, I think to myself, "would an idiot post this" and if the answer is yes, I do not post that thing...
people asking have clearly cheated and lied. then they come to WSO to see if someone else supports what they just did to make them feel better. i'd imagine 70% GPA, 20% work exp, 10% extracurriculars. doubt it's an idiot, more so of a fraud.
Though you still don't beat the "eye candies" guy, I'll SB you.
Reminds me of the good days with blumie and Swagon...
^This
This is how I filter myself on facebook. Too bad it hasnt caught on amongst my 'friends'
For actual reference - It's pretty clear where you can and cannot exaggerate your accomplishments:
CANNOT: GPA, Occupation/Employer/References, Varsity Sports, Fraternities, Honors Really Should Not: Test Scores, Work Dates, Leadership Positions Probably Should Not: Work Experience, Club Memberships Can Get Away With: Mundane ECs, Passive Club Memberships Go Ahead And Lie: Interests
"My father, he would womanize... he would drink... He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he'd accuse chestnuts of being lazy... The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament..."
My childhood was typical... summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds... pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.
THAT'S how you nail an interview.
It appears you will have to kill all of HR with a swift karate chop to the throat.
lol.. nice If it wasn't your username I would've thought you were a freaking idiot
I thought this was serious at first, and was really confused at why BlackHat posted this... -Slow clap-
You better believe Dan Loeb would find out the name of your sensei, the dates of your attendance, how long it took you to get your yellow stripe, what you had to do to get your yellow stripe, why you are still falling short of a yellow stripe, and how clean your taekwondo outfit is every time you show up for training.
Of course he knows. We bike to the dojo every day. And it's not a race.
But I'm zoomin on my new jcpenney bike.
Maybe if you were more intense, you could go to Ackman's dojo, where you always race on the bike to see who gets their first.
but you said in chat that you had gotten your yellow belt a while ago! Someone tell his fund's HR that BH is a liar.
They're going to catch you and you'll have to cut off a knuckle.
How much do you want this job?
BOOOYASKEEDADYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
A big stuttering B-b-b-b-oooooooooyaaaaa to-ya.
Should we shag now, or shag later?
+1, yes too many of these threads lately, but I guess a place like wso is the perfect place to ask
Not for nothing, but that was a solid fucking blumie.
You need to wear a belt even if you don't have loops in your pants?
I thought this post was serious (unbelievable, but serious) until I read BlackHat was writing it.
Blackhat posts this, gets multiple Silver Bananas. Anyone else, Monkey Shitfest. SEEMS FAIR
All kidding aside, well done sir.
You're fired. Now give me 50 push ups.
lol bh has been on wso for too long...
It is too late to email HR, just contact the CEO directly. Tell him the truth and link him to the post. It is just a matter of time before the internet police show him this post anyways.
Actually, you may be able to pull this off. A white belt with a yellow stripe is the 2nd belt rank in ITF tae kwon do, while the belt "rank-equivalent" in WTF tae kwon do is the yellow belt.
If this gets brought up, simply mention that you converted your ITF status to the more popular WTF equivalent.
Are you really that paranoid parrot? Or do you have nothing better to do with your free time?
When I got mine I was so proud that I wore it with my suit for an interview.
YES!!! I enjoy the side profile creation for the single purpose of a random joke.
what kind of hedge fund accepts anything less than a black belt anyway
Well done, made me laugh
Can't speak to Karate, but I put down that I was a WWF champion wrestler and gave them this photo
I wouldn't worry too much about it. You are already ding'd for training in Taekwondo instead of trane UFC.
Don't worry about it. I got away with putting "Former IMF Chief" on my summer analyst resume and got the offer. IT was only a few months into the job when my VP showed me a facebook picture of this black woman and asked "you know her?" that I got fired. The correct answer, I later found out, was "YES"; I answered no.
Do you wear socks at the white belt level, or go barefoot?
I've been dying to wear mine in the office. Now that a certified user is doing it, I feel reassured, and I'm going to whip it out tomorrow.
MomentaLaugh, it's your time to shine.
BlackHat, I always thought you had a black belt. I mean black hat, black belt. Can't you paint it black ?
As far as lying, you should not lie about anything except your age: to women tell them you are younger and to men you are older.
Great thread.
Anyway I'm sure they'll forgive you. You just need to step in the ring and beat up a fellow analyst in a 1v1 match within 5 minutes. If you fail then you're fired.
FINISH HIM.
BH, I think I'm going through something similar!
I was working for Universal Exports back in the 1980s doing freelance security work, and I wanted to pursue a personal project that involved avenging my coworker and his fiancee, who had been targeted for headhunting by a rival firm. But even though I let my boss know that this was a project of personal importance, he revoked my license to kill and I turned in my resignation to pursue my investigation of the rival firm. Will future firms know that I went rogue? Please advise.
I thought this would be another epic story from Rufiolove. I was right about the first part.
Should have made a second account for this and see how much MS instead of SB you would have gotten without that rep of yours. ;)
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