Your Craziest Commute/Road Rage Story?

champagnepaki:

Hey all,

Last week I was driving to class in the evening during rush hour, and witnessed a young teenager completely rear end someone's jag suv (the new f-pace) on the highway. The driver immediately got out of the car, opened his rear door - and I shit you not - grabbed a used diaper and opened it, before throwing it directly into the kids windshield. Disgusting but hilarious. Wish I could've seen what happened next.

What kind of crazy shit have you guys witnessed on your way to work or on the road?

Super car driver idiots

champagnepaki:

Hey all,

Last week I was driving to class in the evening during rush hour, and witnessed a young teenager completely rear end someone's jag suv (the new f-pace) on the highway. The driver immediately got out of the car, opened his rear door - and I shit you not - grabbed a used diaper and opened it, before throwing it directly into the kids windshield. Disgusting but hilarious. Wish I could've seen what happened next.

What kind of crazy shit have you guys witnessed on your way to work or on the road?

Never Happened.

champagnepaki:

Hey all,

Last week I was driving to class in the evening during rush hour, and witnessed a young teenager completely rear end someone's jag suv (the new f-pace) on the highway. The driver immediately got out of the car, opened his rear door - and I shit you not - grabbed a used diaper and opened it, before throwing it directly into the kids windshield. Disgusting but hilarious. Wish I could've seen what happened next.

What kind of crazy shit have you guys witnessed on your way to work or on the road?

I've got a friend who has never been in an accident. He swears it's because he's an excellent driver. What about accidents where he wouldn't be at fault? His response is that he's good at pro-actively avoiding accidents where other people would be at fault. Yeah, well, ever been rear-ended while sitting at a traffic light or stop sign? I have.

Sucks that the guy's sick new car got f*cked up. Can't believe I made it 3 1/2 years in my Audi without a single scratch in D.C. traffic. No matter how good of a driver you are, there's always everyone else.

Today, I cut into a funeral procession because it was slow as fuck and I got shit to do and like 2 blocks into driving with them (only had 5 blocks to go on that street), some Mexican kid in braces dressed like Micky Mouse with white gloves on jumped out of the car in front of me and started knocking on my window and yelling. I tossed him a shaka sign and swerved around the whole procession to get to my destination.

Also, if there's a red light ahead and I'm like .2 mines away, I'll just take my foot off the gas and coast to it. Which often means I'm going like 15MPH for a bit. People get REALLY mad, honk, step on the gas, and swerve around me. Then stop at the red. And I pull up right next to them like 10 seconds later. And toss 'em a shaka sign.

.

This isn't a traditional commute but my uncle once told me this story of him trying to cross the street to get to a meeting, in the middle of a marathon happening. He essentially had to go downstream and run with the flow for a bit while moving diagonally across the running crowd, all while in his suit carrying a briefcase.

Totally forgot about this one. Sometime around 2010 I was headed into the office and a guy in front of me was doing, like, 25 in a 35 for no particular reason. It was only one lane going in one direction, so I couldn't pass him. So I honked at the guy and he refused to speed up. Finally, a second lane opened up and I passed him and he sped up and followed me several miles to my office.

My parking spot was right in front of the office building entrance, so I'm thinking that if I get into a fight it's going to be right in front of my office's entrance. At that juncture, I had already been fired from two of my first three jobs out of college, so I REALLY needed that job. I decided that bravado wasn't worth losing yet another job over. So I parked and decided to just avoid the situation. I got out of my car and so did he--the guy looked like Dilbert. The nerdiest, most ridiculously looking guy I had ever seen. Except he was, like, 6'8" and about 280 lbs (at least). He runs over at me and I sit back down in my car and attempt to shut my door; he grabs my door so I basically kicked him off my door. I was able to get my door closed and then he left.

And that was basically it.

I have a driving story right out of Bernie Sanders' wet dreams.

One day I drove right behind a rear-end collision and stopped on the side of road, because Lloyd Blankfein is always a good samaritan first responder to all, to witness the aftermath of the accident and to make sure everyone was okay.

A couple of high school kids in a beat up, fugly beast of a Volvo station wagon from like 1990 got rear-ended by a rich college student (who I'm sure was texting and driving) in a brand new Maserati Quattroporte. The front of the Maserati got crushed like an aluminum can; I'm sure it was completely totaled. But the station wagon? The only damage was a tiny dent on the back bumper about the size of a baseball. The rich student pulled out some money from his wallet and handed to the guy and they shook hands before the other guy drove off in his Volvo. The student just stood by his totaled Maserati bawling his eyes out.

It was kind of hilarious in a fucked up way.

One time I was driving in my tinted white van by a middle school and I spotted this cute little red-haired angel who was walking home from school. I offered him some cookies and koolaid in the back of the van. He screamed and ran away. What a fucking prick! I didn't even want to sleep with that little demon spawn anyways...

I was driving home from work a few weeks ago on the freeway and I was doing 110kms and there was person doing like 90ks so I overtake them and then this car comes flying up behind me as I overtake and he high beems me and gives me the finger (sorry I overtook someone doing the speed limit mate). I was like whatever so this guy cuts right in front of me and nearly hits me and I high beem him back as he speeds off. Then he slows right up to 30kms on the freeway and points for me to pull over. This went on for about 2kms and whenever I tried to get past him with the left or right lane he would swerve in front of me.

So as we are driving near my turn off, I pretend to jump in the left lane (we both in the middle) than I quickly pretend to go in the right lane (I knew there was a guy coming up on my right side) so this stupid fuck pulls out into the right lane and nearly gets cleaned up by this truck. Than that guy in the truck saw what was happening and started getting into a road rage fight with that guy as well. Good times

Was in the express lanes about four, maybe 5 years ago and got stuck at rush hour behind this 1991 Buick Lesabre with basically two 95 year old women inside, one of which being the driver. The car in front of me, who was directly behind them swerved right into traffic almost causing accidents (this was after about 2 miles of that guy just never taking his hand of the loudest fucking horn I've ever heard), pulls in front of them, slams on the brakes, gets out and throws like 4 or 5 giant dildos (the ones with the sticky base) at their windshield and all stick. The whole time swearing at them calling them old whores. The old lady that was driving opens the door and gets out, with both her hands on her face and starts walking away from the car, horrified, with the other woman still in it and the car not in park. The car rolled into the guys car in front with the other lady's door open while trying to get out but not being able to due to being old and the car moving. The guy next to me gets out, laughing so hard he has to cross his legs so he doesn't piss himself. It was hilarious. I managed to get by them and watch the guy climb on their car's hood and kicking in the windshield, with the dildo's still on it. Those two women are probably long dead by now but it's still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. When I get 95 and am still alive, I might walk into a biker bar with a baseball bat at hand and just end it all... :)

While not a road-related story, this did happen to me during my commute.

Last year, on my way back to my apartment from work, I noticed more police starting about 5 blocks away. I heard helicopters with searchlights in the air. Once I was about 3 blocks out, I started hearing chanting. Protesters were chanting/protesting in front of the Trump Hotel in my city, which was across the street from my apartment building. I wasn't able to get into my apartment for a while as the police had cordoned off the block and my license address didn't match the address of my apartment at the time.

I finally got in, but the protesters kept me up until about 3am chanting.

I had issues getting to my apartment for the next couple weeks.

On the way home from class about two weeks ago I was merging into the fast lane on the highway with the only visible car (BMW) in that lane about 100 yards behind me. I didn't realize how fast the BMW was actually going and within the couple of seconds i was merging over the BMW literally traded paint with the left side of my car and proceed to go over 100+ mph past me. Traffic picked up ahead and I just so happened to be parallel with him. I beeped the horn and looked at him trying to get his attention because of the damage he just did to my car, couldn't see what he looked like due to his tinted windows. He then rolls down his window and I have a pistol pointed at my head. He proceeded to follow me for a couple minutes and tote the gun at me while I am trying to put distance between us. He eventually just went off into his own direction.

I cannot describe how instantaneously filled with hate I was towards this guy who just destroyed the side of my car, to completely neutral state of mind, it was surreal to say the least.