Associate with a baby? Possible?
Just as the title says, considering the associate route post B-school but also planning on having a child during that time.
Possible or is this bat shit crazy?
Just as the title says, considering the associate route post B-school but also planning on having a child during that time.
Possible or is this bat shit crazy?
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If you're the male in this relationship, then yes if your wife is a stay at home mom. If you're the female, I've got bad news for you...
Maybe when you’re VP
Knew a couple people who had kids as associates, but had SOs able to spend a lot of time at home.
I'll cast my vote for bat-shit crazy. But then again, if you tell someone off the street you spent 6 figures on an MBA just to go work 80 hours a week somewhere, they'd tell you that you were bat-shit crazy to begin with. So it's all a matter of perspective. If you're able to time these things, as your original post says you are, I'd try and aim for when you're a third year associate.
Many people in my associate class did.
Good luck. Families tend to be a bit more realistic for VP's +.
As an MBA associate, you're initially supposed to play the role of an analyst as you build your technical competencies. This typically results in longer hours during the first 8-12 months.
I would strongly urge you to wait until you're a VP.
There is a reason divorce/family unhappiness is so prevalent in this industry.
Like others here I am going to presume that you are the male. If so, it is probably doable if your partner is independent, strong, patient, and above all, understanding (or you can afford help/family lives near to help out). Work and family (ie. the baby and your spouse) will literally dominate your life (probably more the former than the latter). I personally know of people having marriage troubles that are going through this route and have seen it first hand. It's not pretty.
OP - you also need to think about the ramifications for the child. Your child will literally be an only child for the very first few years of his/her life. Those developmental years are crucial for physical, mental and emotional development and his/her ties to you and vice versa. That is something to think about as well.
Oh, then there is your partner's physical, social, and psychological well-being. As is yours. Pulled 2 all nighters or got off a red-eye, haven't eaten well in days or been to the gym/seen a friend in weeks and junior is crying and you are on no sleep? Too friggin' bad.
In short, there is a lot to think about. And it's not just about you. You will also, of course have more mouths to feed and bills, which means more pressure to earn/not get canned/laid off. But I'm assuming you already knew that.
I am not a female and have not heard the female associate take and so am in no position to comment from that angle. If there is anyone here that can do so, please do.
Good Luck
Awesome insight, thanks for the reminders. Definitely think my IB ideas with a newborn are a little wild.
That said, i'm not IB or break. Open to a lot of things. Wondering what paths you would recommend as a backup for someone who is factoring for starting a family post B-school?
Biz dev or a finance role @ a large company or post series B startup
No clue as I have not gone to B-school and my path has been far from straight forward...Wish I could genuinely say more, but frankly advice from me would probably do you more harm than good.
Good Luck
I did it / am doing it, in my third year of being an Associate and my child was born during training before starting my post MBA Associate career. Happy to chat if you can PM and we can set up a call to talk in person.
Ah, yes, the Chicago banking scene.
LA and the scene is mostly late 30's single dudes in finance.
I've only seen it work successfully when one parent is stay at home and there is good support through grandparents. My business partner works 80 plus a week and has pulled it off really well but his wife is super understanding and 100% on board.
Worked with a guy last summer who knocked up his wife during the internship (he was a FT associate at the time). He was highly rated and had an amazing attitude, but you could kind of tell he was getting beat up pretty bad. I think he had a lot of support from both grandparents at the time.
The one thing I also forgot to add and don't think I have seen here... So much also depends on your group, and one can't control that. Is your group understanding and willing to step up and help you out (assuming you will do similarly at a future time?) or sort of self-centered types that won't care (much of finance is sadly the latter give how transactional the industry is).
One CAN control when to try having a kid and his/her partner and living situation, however.
Good Luck
Sure, maybe every ONCE in a WHILE, but to expect to work less regularly than someone just because they have a kid is dumb af IMO.
You clearly don't have a kid...
This is gold
I left banking the week before my kids were born, somewhat coincidental timing but I often wonder whether I would have been able to stomach it.
In hindsight it wouldn’t have worked for me. I would have been too drained at work to be emotionally available for a new baby, and either would have professional or personal resentment.
If you have a strong support system, like a ton of local family, your spouse is comfortable being alone a lot and you can make peace with missing a chunk of formative years in return for whatever it is you hope to gain from banking it will probably work.
Yeah that kid is going to grow up without a dad
Only if you manage to become a staffer early on.
Then you will be able to send interns to babysit (in order to get return offers) whenever your wife will feel like she is losing it caring after an infant all on her own 24/7
Would strongly recommend against it. Look at it this way: There are numerous threads on this site about the pros and cons of being a post-MBA IB associate period (without any family considerations), and there are very strong arguments against it even for people without a baby.
If your personality suits it, go do enterprise software sales. You can live anywhere, make a very nice living if you're good, work from home pretty regularly (sales people aren't even really supposed to be in the office), and with an MBA, you'll have a lot of routes upward. Feel free to PM me if add'l insights would help.
Its possible. They have been starting IB boot camp in 1st to 2nd grade. So the chances you could be an associate with a baby that works in IB too is pushing it, but if the baby is smart enough, maybe it can figure out some smooth moves on Excel without a mouse.
You might want to start reciting formulas while the baby is in the womb. Some say play Mozart, but you could jump right into Valuation.
Impossible cus associates dont fuck
B-school students, on the other hand...
Don't listen to these guys and their good advice, none of them have the grit and determination (balls) of Lynn Tilton.
* "...Ms. Tilton left Morgan Stanley in 1983, managing restaurants that she owned while attending Columbia Business School. Upon graduation, she took a position with Goldman Sachs’ corporate finance group, focusing on IPOs, and later with Merrill Lynch, at their merchant bank, with a focus on leveraged buyouts. **At 25, Ms. Tilton was the single mother of 2-year old Carly Jade, working 100 hours each week**. After nine years at various investment banking firms, Ms. Tilton developed a clear understanding of how to successfully restructure leveraged buyouts gone bad and became fascinated with the investment side of the business. This led her to a position at Kidder Peabody, working on distressed debt research and sales, and proprietary investments in distressed assets....... Since 2000, Ms. Tilton and Patriarch Partners through affiliated investment funds have committed to debt and equity investments and provided operational and strategic expertise to more than 240 companies, representing more than $100B in combined revenues, thus preserving more than 700,000 American jobs that would have otherwise been lost through liquidations..."*I don't know how she did it but she did.
https://www.patriarchpartners.com/lynn-tilton/
Yeah, and her kid probably fucking hates her.
One other option to consider: Take an IB associate role (assuming you can get one) with a plan to do it for 18 months then lateral to something with a better lifestyle.
You'll probably get a better job exiting IB than you will as just another MBA, the 18 months will get you a stub bonus and a full first year bonus, and you and your spouse will benefit psychologically from knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just make sure to network like crazy while also working, and drop clear hints to any clients you like that you're poachable.
You'll miss a fair amount of your kid's first year and a half but the blunt truth is that during that short phase, the best thing fathers can do is be a provider. Way better for the baby and mother if you work 80 hours and your wife (assuming you're the man) is home full time, compared to both of you working 40 hours.
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