Dating within your firm
Posting this on a throwaway.
Currently an An3/As0 at an “EB” and have been here since I was a summer analyst, and the girl in question is the same. She and I were hanging since the internship and would chat a lot when the FT guys left. Since then, we’d always just be close friends, but over the past ~6 months, we’ve been seeing each other.
I really like her, but we’re at the same bank. As an intern and An1, she was on my team, but she switched out due to a change in group preference for An2+.
She and I obviously plan on keeping it low key and are not telling anyone at the bank, even though the culture here is nice.
We’re both staying on as associates. Does this sound like it will pose a problem? I love my team, but I like her more. I could even try to lateral to peers I have friends at if push came to shove and this posed a problem.
I don’t want judgement on the relationship. I like her a lot and just want to know if this may be a problem long term here.
My MD's wife at a French bank worked in the bank and it was never a problem. Honestly if you know how to keep it professional at the workplace (no PDA or inappropriate behaviour) then I see no problem in going ahead with your relationship! Also you're not even in the same team, so it wouldn't be awkward if you two split up (hope this won't be the case though).
You got my blessing, best of luck!
Being in different groups you guys should be fine. It really only become an HR issue if one of you has power over the others career, but being at the same level and different groups that isn’t a problem here
Really depends on how hot she is
If you're in different groups then it literally doesn't matter whatsoever. Fuck who you want.
Don’t shit where you eat.
This is the right answer. I'm shocked at how many in this thread seem to think that it's OK. Dating someone from work is a terrible idea. There's like a million dating apps out there and tons of other ways to meet people and you want to put your dating and work life in the same basket??? Bad idea and unnecessary risk.
People are saying to go for it because they are normal human beings who understand emotions. I don’t know what OP’s feelings are at this point but turning down a relationship with someone you have real feelings for because muh “don’t shit where you eat” is the most retarded corporate nonsense I have ever heard
Hey friend - had the same situation about a year ago. Started seeing a coworker and it turned into a relationship.
Dating a coworker can be fun and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with it. A surprisingly large percentage of people meet their significant others at work. There’s no need to jump ship at your current job if you decide to go for it. Only leave if that’s what’s best for YOU and YOUR career. If you leave because of a relationship, frankly you look weak and you run the risk of losing respect with your gal on top of the obvious risks of moving jobs. If you decide you want to go for the relationship, I think you two should communicate boundaries immediately and plan to stick to them. For me, that meant not telling coworkers, no overt flirting in the office and not hanging out at office events.
However I will say that we did break up (shocker), and as the one who was more invested in the relationship (like you), it really really sucked to see them everywhere when trying to move on. The interactions became weird and it creates an uncomfortable distraction at work. But time heals my friend and by the end of the relationship (if it comes to that), one of you will likely have another job anyway. Don’t create problems you analytical you :).
I’m sum, this is your life and if you like someone enough, go for it. Understand the risks going in and don’t be a fool, but regret from omission is stronger than regret from commission. Good luck my guy.
PS - very important that you don’t do something that could damage your reputation as that shit will most definitely spread :)
Agreed. Dated a coworker and we're now married. Be adults, have open communication with each other.
My buddy is in the exact situation right now and this is what I told him. It’s hard to find someone that you really connect with. Being in IB is a challenging lifestyle, so finding someone who truly understands what you do, the hours, and the toll it takes is going to be really fucking hard. Most girls are not going to comprehend your situation whatsoever. I am dating a girl in IB and it works great. She is hot, smart, nice, funny, ambitious and understanding. She is the total package. Call me a simp, but i know that I am fucking lucky. Plus you know this girl is financially independent and stable. She isn’t with you because you are a banker. If she is with you, it’s because she actually wants to be with you. Just make sure that you communicate with her so that you are both on the same page about how to move things forward. It can totally be done if you are both mature about it and agree to keep on communicating. Lots of people meet at work. You spend long hours together and you get to know each other super well. You see each other in different situations with lots of different people, so it’s a great way to really see who someone is and how they handle themselves. So go for it and enjoy. Just make sure to take her out too and treat her well and not just make it all about work. And if you are keeping it on the DL, don’t be surprised or mad if other guys hit on her if you go out as a group. My buddy’s girl is always swerving guys when they go out cause people think she is single and he gets so pissed lol
You’re definitely a simp lol.
Just wait til you start buddy and get slammed with work. Then let’s talk about how easy it is to find a great girl to date. When you find a good one, you need to treat her well. Good partners are not easy to find especially in IB.
Bro ngl, I know you are just like 23, but half your comments make you seem 60. You're way more socially conservative than your peers. Not that that's a bad thing or anything, but you don't seem to get that most people your age are more chill than you are.
She's on the same level as him working in IB. I'm sure she has enough money to keep her going
If the company doesn’t have a policy then it doesn’t matter. Odds are they do and it may need to be disclosed - which is the worst I’ve seen. Being that you two had similar start dates then there are no ‘rank’ concerns.
imagine fucking in the company bathrooms
Hot as fuck…the grown up version of boning in the stacks at college
hahaha another one of these classic posts.
i get the feeling that you're not really together but you are trying to be.
As someone who works closely with HR - don’t crap where you eat.
Anyone notice how he said he would be willingly to be the one to leave his job for her? This will not end well. Wish there was a way to force people to update their posts in three years lol.
Admittedly, I was pretty fucked up when I wrote originally wrote this. She'd do the same too, but she does RX now and I'm in a traditional "EB" coverage group, so all else equal, it would be easier for me to switch to another bank than her.
I feel like I was too PC in this post because it was the first time I spoke about our relationship publicly, so I want to just say we are really together.
On the surface it’s fine. Just act professional when at work and there won’t be an issue. The issue occurs if/when you break up. Ask yourself honestly whether you foresee it as a problem in the future because the odds state that it’s more likely to happen than not.
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