Death Quickly Approaches

So as it seems, I'm quickly approaching my third all-nighter. I literally think I'm about to die. Have exhausted my ipod's music selection 3x over, smell like shit, moving at a fucking snails pace, feels like I have ticks crawling inside my skin, am averaging about 2.5 cans of Skol a day (don't even care anymore, you hired dumb fuck red-neck deal with it if you want your fucking book), have two 1st years that have a magical ability to fuck up everything they touch and get to pick up the slack (and I'm really not even that good at this job, WTF?).

This has got to be a joke right? I'd quit if I wasn't such a pussy, am open to some creative ways to off myself that could lead to my VP getting axed (joking, again to big of a pussy). The other white dudes are in the same boat, but all my Indian and Asian fuck tard coworkers are just like "you just gotta crush it man," and keep grinding. How can I crush anything when my soul is gone, thinking cannon foder for the North Korean Army would be a nice break at this point. FML. #complaining #completelyoutofmotivation

12 Comments
 

One task, one line, one comma at a time. There's no way to do it but to do it. I know all those faggoty platitudes don't mean much but it's true. One foot in front of the other.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

This is hopefully what I have to look forward to if I receive my offer this week! F yah!!

My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.
 

Et et perspiciatis perspiciatis magni esse nostrum impedit quia. Qui fuga molestiae sit modi. Ullam odio enim eum ea velit. Impedit et officia velit quasi. Velit officiis quis eum.

Corrupti quam corporis non vitae voluptatibus sit fuga. Eaque distinctio at quia dolorum aut non laboriosam.

Sed autem et facere quis atque commodi neque. Natus quibusdam sequi molestiae voluptatem dicta corporis quia. Rerum facilis est blanditiis laborum quo aspernatur. Et nam et dignissimos sunt aut quia.

Quae cupiditate rerum occaecati. Perferendis accusantium totam sit placeat reiciendis. Quia qui possimus culpa. Aliquam sint quo sint inventore iusto velit aut.

My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.

Career Advancement Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 99.0%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Guggenheim Partners 02 97.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 97.4%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 99.0%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.9%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.4%

Professional Growth Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 99.0%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • JPMorgan No 97.4%

Total Avg Compensation

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (57) $264
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (28) $184
  • Intern/Summer Associate (16) $161
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”