Death Quickly Approaches

So as it seems, I'm quickly approaching my third all-nighter. I literally think I'm about to die. Have exhausted my ipod's music selection 3x over, smell like shit, moving at a fucking snails pace, feels like I have ticks crawling inside my skin, am averaging about 2.5 cans of Skol a day (don't even care anymore, you hired dumb fuck red-neck deal with it if you want your fucking book), have two 1st years that have a magical ability to fuck up everything they touch and get to pick up the slack (and I'm really not even that good at this job, WTF?).

This has got to be a joke right? I'd quit if I wasn't such a pussy, am open to some creative ways to off myself that could lead to my VP getting axed (joking, again to big of a pussy). The other white dudes are in the same boat, but all my Indian and Asian fuck tard coworkers are just like "you just gotta crush it man," and keep grinding. How can I crush anything when my soul is gone, thinking cannon foder for the North Korean Army would be a nice break at this point. FML. #complaining #completelyoutofmotivation

12 Comments
 

One task, one line, one comma at a time. There's no way to do it but to do it. I know all those faggoty platitudes don't mean much but it's true. One foot in front of the other.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

This is hopefully what I have to look forward to if I receive my offer this week! F yah!!

My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.
 

Repudiandae quidem impedit eos quis ducimus. Doloremque enim quo enim ratione voluptatem quisquam. Facere cum corrupti quia libero similique aliquid optio. Nulla beatae similique commodi cumque consequatur qui. Neque reiciendis nesciunt nihil exercitationem provident.

Odit in aspernatur minima corporis ut quia. Optio distinctio adipisci voluptatem. Reprehenderit quisquam neque dicta nesciunt nihil.

My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.2%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.2%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.6%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.2%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (43) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (75) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (65) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”