I have one story in particular which I'm a little hesitant to share because it may make me easily identifiable.
I'm wondering what other stories people have of co-workers acting up, sharing too much information, and otherwise revealing their true selves at holiday parties or just a night of corporate drinking.
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What? You cannot make a topic without posting the story.
I don't have anything too grand to share. Just co-workers getting blacked out drunk on a few occassions.
funny story. was a SA at a BB in their Finance department this past summer in the city. went out with some managers for drinks etc. one manager, had really low tolerance and had a glass of wine that hit her hard. she then proceeded to open up about her sexcapades as a bartender in ny before meeting her current bf. was really awkward and im not sure if she knew it but she went into many very descriptive details which were pretty funny. she wasnt bad looking either, which made them even better.
I'd been working for this firm for about 2 years when they finally got sick of my shenanigans a couple weeks before the holidays and fired me for the 8th and final time. I knew it was for real this time because security was waiting outside my office when I came in. It was no real surprise to me or management, so all in all it was pretty amicable. My boss even invited me to the Christmas party.
I had just started seeing this chick a month or so before, so I invited her to the party. We have a couple of drinks before the party and then we go. We're at the party for a couple hours (drinking the whole time) when the firm's 3rd in command walks in. Now, this guy is a real dick and there is no love lost between he and I. He wanted me gone for good long before they actually got rid of me, thanks to my boss's protection.
So this dickhead walks up to me and says, "I thought this party was for employees only. What are you doing here?" Without missing a beat, I fired back, "That's funny, Bill, I thought this party was for friends only. What the fuck are you doing here?" Of course, he realizes at this point that I've had enough to drink to take a swing at him, and nothing to lose if I did, so he wisely slithers off to a corner to drink by himself.
An hour passes, and I'm shooting pool with a couple buddies I used to work with. I'm not really paying much attention to my date, but she is zorched. I don't know how much she had to drink, but it was a lot. I'm about to take another shot when a fracas breaks out across the room, and it's my date (drunk as hell) reading my boss the riot act in a very loud, very slurred voice.
She's screaming at him, calling him every name in the book, telling him that the firm's gonna go out of business without me, every sentence punctuated with slurred F-bombs. A gentleman would have probably stepped in and stopped her, but where's the fun in that? When she's finished, she turns around, takes 3 steps and then falls flat on her face. It was quite a performance.
Just for good measure, I grab a couple free beers and head for the door, hammered date in tow (almost literally). The happy ending? She had a 7-hour drive ahead of her the next day at 6 am and I can't remember ever seeing a girl puke that much after a night out.
That story makes me pretty easily identifiable, so it's time for you to man up, hoss. Let's hear it.
What do you mean by "shenanigans"?
Back then, shenanigans were still shenanigans. I always made the firm big money, so I got away with a lot.
I'm talking about things like jacking in to the firm's phone system and broadcasting a phone sex line over the firm's nationwide PA system, known back then as the "hoot and holler". Or throwing a shot into the boss's girlfriend. Being generally argumentative and demeaning in meetings. Showing up three times a week with a crippling hangover (or still drunk). Things like that.
Ha, that sounds really funny. Why do you think things changed?
marcus, be careful before posting; qonnect.me might turn it into a new forum topic...
Classic!
FYI, this wasn't an Xmas party, but it was still f'in funny. There was this really loud music was playing, and me and my drunk friend were talking. Out of nowhere, he yelled "Mandy from HR has a great ass". All of a sudden, the music came to a screeching halt, and everyone was staring at my friend, even the MD heard it. The next day, the company's sexual harrassment policy was on his desk.
http://www.afr0jacks.com/ Afro Jacks
haha
After a pretty tame holiday party, a bunch of us went to a bar to continue partying in a little less stuffy environment.
So... we get to the bar and a bunch of us are standing in a circle, pretty drunk, and sharing stories of our misadventures with women. Its obviously all men, and range from myself and a few analysts, a few associates, couple of VPs, and 2 really SR VPs. Most of the stories/comments/jokes are pretty good, obviously not stuff we would share while sober, but nothing completely crazy.
So we're sharing our stories about seemingly quiet girls who are complete freaks once the clothes come off. Well, one of the VPs says to us "you know you really get a grl to let out her inner freak?" We're all laughing and joking about stupid shit, so he humor him. And he begins...
"you start by finding a girl who loves to be in control, and then you take it away from her. Then look in her eyes, its as if something just snapped."
So we're like... ummm... ok. Kind of weird, we're sharing funny stories etc... but whatever. He goes on describing how these girls love it when you take all control away from them...
"pin their hands behind their back, they'll be screaming for you to stop, that they don't want it"
But just keep going, thats when you'll see them change.
"They'll start biting and scratching, so be careful, some of them are completely f*ckin crazy"
As he was telling us this, it was very clear that he truly believes that in above mentioned situation, the girl is loving ever second of it, and is just playing her part in the game.
He went on and on, and at times pretty graphically. It was pretty awkward and uneasy. A few of us even tried to half-jokingly suggest he stop talking by interrupting with "laugh laugh, yeah thats called rape, laugh laugh" and start talking about something else. But he'd just keep going. What made it really disturbing was, he wasn't saying this in the least bit to be funny, as some people initially suspected. He was getting really into his story.
Im pretty sure that the look he called "something snapped" was terror.
After rehashing that story, I realize its neither funny or embarrassing. But it just goes to show how little you know the people you work with until they get a few too many drinks in them. Every now and then, we still mention how completely bizarre that was.
Yikes. Sounds like he subscribes to the "Tears make the best lube" school of thought. Somebody needs to introduce him to the miracle of Rohyphnol. Cuts down on the biting and scratching, anyway.
Tangentially, I must say I'm disappointed Marcus. I was expecting to piss myself laughing at some socially retarded hijinks, and I get a tale of VP-level perversion? Yawn.
You'd better get out there and do something stupid pronto, mister, and report back to us.
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