Group happy hour anxiety

Just be yourself. It’s okay to talk about things other than what they are all interested in. I personally like learning about other people’s hobbies and interests that are different than my own.

Understand and embrace that you're not the only one that isn't enjoying it. I find most audio-visual communication through the computer to be cringe, especially when there is poor internet connectivity involved.

Super easy topic that always comes up at these virtual meetings is what series and movies is everyone watching. Even if you're a hermit crab, you'll have something to say here. Wait until the conversation naturally goes there or straight up ask "has anyone seen anything good lately?". As people discuss different series, it often leads into many tangential topics of discussion.

I only took this job to get rich tbh and the unnecessary social aspect (talking about coworkers about useless shit) is a bit annoying, but try to care about all the same basic things they do. Just talk about something risk-less and mundane like Marvel movies or working out even if you don't, just fit in because then they'll accidentally ostracize you.

I have a lot of these anxieties which I deal with by going head first into interactions that make me nervous. The more you do this, the less and less anxious you will get in all social situations. Don't focus on having the perfect/right thing to say when entering the conversation. Also, a way to rationalize it is that people aren't inclined to dislike you unless you're legitimately a dick. As your nervousness stems from being scared that you'll annoy other people/make them uncomfortable, there's no real chance that you are annoying because we already know that you're a person who is considerate about other's feelings.

That's a more common problem than it may seem. Imo, you should listen to them more carefully. Try to understand what their passions are and how to relate with the group and with each of them. Ask some questions, try to make them think that at least you like their interests. People want to be heard while speaking. Moreover, you should have some interest too, so make some notes and try to introduce a conversation yourself. Eventually, it is completely normal that some people in a team could be more introvert than other ones. If you could just adjust your behavior a little bit, it is more than ok.

I am in sort of a similar situation. I am on the new business/pipeline calls every week at a CRE development shop with all the heads of investment for each regional office (since I’m underwriting all the deals for our regional office). Everyone on these calls are 40+ year old guys that have done massive projects, I am outclassed in every single way when it comes to expertise and knowledge (I’ve only been here 9 months and it’s my first development/acquisition role). For the last few weeks I have been silent on all the calls, since I don’t have a lot of valuable info to add, and I generally fill in the head of investment for our office in on all our deal specifics before our calls so he handles any questions.

Anyway, my new strategy has been to jump into the calls a few minutes before they start and engage with the people who join the calls first. That way I can have a more personal convo on a light starter topic, joke around a bit, let everyone know I’m on, then once the greetings end and technical stuff starts I fade out. Then it’s also easier to jump in if I need to on anything. It’s not a big tip, but starting the calls early can be a big help to let everyone know you are likeable and potentially important to the process.

A good way to not have to talk about yourself and also seem engaged is to just ask others questions. Not in an interrogative way, but just get them to talk about themselves. They'll come away from the conversation thinking you're a great chatting partner.