How to deal with a micromanager

Hi all - previous IBD associate and just joined a start up in corp dev as a VP but I have a director that is already really pissing me off for numerous reasons:

1) Excessive Micromanagement: my director tends to closely monitor my tasks, often checking in multiple times throughout the day for updates whenever I'm working on something. I feel that this level of micromanagement is being done in a passive aggressive way because she doesn't trust me. E.g. she only does this with me and no one else.

2) Personal Appointments: I had a doctor's appointment during working hours, and my director told me off about it and said for me to only do personal commitments outside of working hours. I feel it it's completely reasonable to attend to personal matters when necessary, especially when dealing with doctor appointments that fall within typical 9-5pm opening hours so.

3) Using Phones/Productivity: she saw me use my phone a couple of times and then put a meeting in my calendar where she told me off for using my phone and saying she's seen me "slacking" and it looks like i'm "hiding from work twiddling my thumbs on instagram" whilst everyone else is busy then she said she's concerned she has hired a "quiet quitter" and wants me to see me step up my game to have a future here. She also made a passive aggressive comment about me in a team meeting once saying to another senior "make sure to check in on (my name) regularly so he's not twiddling his thumbs doing nothing". The room went silent and I found this quite rude so I just said "don't worry.. I won't be twiddling my thumbs". she has now asked me to put in start/end of week update meetings with her, where every monday i go over my planned tasks for the week and every friday i tell her what i've accomplished, so she can make sure i'm doing work.

4) Proactiveness and involvement: she complains I'm not proactive enough and too quiet. To be honest, i'm still trying to understand the product as it's quite a complex company outside of my previous skillset, so i'm still not very confident enough to talk up in meetings. so i agree on this point and i hope to improve on this but surely there is an understanding it takes time for this to happen when starting a new role. I've only been here around 2 months. She's now moved my seat to be close to her so she can see what I'm up to..

Overall, I'm unsure what to do and how to handle this, it's really damaging my motivation to actually work, now i'm just annoyed whenever i see her and we both constantly fake smile to eachother asking how are weekends were like either of us actually care. I really don't want to burn any bridges because she was the founder's first ever employee and his "right hand man" so she probably has a huge stake in the business and can fire me on the spot. 

side note: it's not all bad.. whenever i complete work that meets expectations, she sends me an email saying how great the work was e.g. "hey X, this was amazing work - well done".

9 Comments
 

If you’re not exaggerating about these circumstances, you’ve got to start looking for something else.

All your points are major red flags, but 2) is pretty toxic. How are you supposed to see a non-ER/urgent care doctor outside of business hours?

You could seek out whomever you replaced and ask him/her if it ever got better. But her management style is beyond the pale, I can’t imagine it ever become tolerable.

 

You need to get on her good side and then find your way to another place.  Whether that's a new group, a new boss, a new firm . . that's up to you.  Lots of new places.

Play her stupid game and improve your standing so you have the room you need to GTFO.  You're not going to change her.

 

Worked for a lady like this - best thing you can do with a person like this is anticipate what they want and start doing the predictable things before she asks. "Hey I am going to start on XYZ" that you know she will ask you to do anyway. Quickest way to gain trust with her, she will stop checking in as much and start to trust you. Meanwhile look for other seats, she sucks... 

 

Get out.  Had a very similar boss at a start-up, was infuriating, and I wound up completely checking out for a month and dipping right before the review date on a BS PIP she put me on.   She wound up getting canned later because they couldn't retain any associates - had ridiculously fast turnover.  So I don't know what she's doing now, but I'm certain that I'm making more than she was at her previous position (and believe she's unemployed rn).  So in your face, dumbass.  

 
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