How to deal with Bullies at work?
I work at a BB in nyc as a first year analyst. I’ve actually learned a lot and got great deal experience, but am constantly bullied by my seniors (associates and up) for small mistakes here and there. I took 2 days off a couple weeks back cause I got covid and had crazy symptoms, and since then the bullying has gotten worse. I’ve been yelled at in person several times and it’s begun to affect my mental state.
Any advice?
You will probably get a lot of recommendations here to stand up for yourself and say that the kind of behaviour is not OK. Such an approach is likely to backfire because very few people will be rational and think that "He's right, I am actually being a total dick. What the heck am I doing?". Most likely, they will become annoyed because an analyst has the gut to tell them how to behave. They might stop yelling at you simply because they're afraid you will snitch to HR or someone senior, but they will just fuck you over in other ways instead.
What I would recommend is to stop taking it personally and agree with them. When someone comes to your desk next time and yells at you for some stupid mistake that doesn't really matter, agree with them.
- "Damn, you're right. How sloppy of me to make that mistake. I'm so glad you found it and brought it to my attention. I will fix it right away. How would you recommend I approach the task next time to avoid making a similar mistake in the future?"
There's no way anyone can yell at you after a response like that. They will feel like total jerks for yelling at a guy who is that humble. You are also showing them that you genuinely care by asking for advice on how to avoid making a similar mistake in the future. Moreover, if they can't give you advice then they will realize that they would likely have made the same mistake themselves and feel really stupid for yelling at you. Lastly, you make them put skin in the game by asking for advice. When you ask for advice, they will want you to succeed. If you fail, it is a failure for them as well as their advice did not work.
I would definitely try this approach first as it is completely risk-free. It will only require you to swallow your pride, which can be very hard. If you really try it and it doesn't work, you can always revert to confrontation later.
This is great advice.
Love this. It also makes them look like the dickbutts they are.
Great advice fam
Hit up Lil Johnnie and have him settle it for you
Challenge them to trial by combat
Bit of a different approach, but when people yell at me, I just respond by being very calm and solution oriented. I almost think of it as gentle parenting my seniors when they decide to act like children (being emotional instead of practical). Sometimes they get more pissed off, but eventually it subsides because they realize that they’re being unprofessional and that you’ve taken charge of the situation. The key is not to be sassy or condescending at all but just actually straight to the point and very serious
Hysterical that it falls on the most junior people on the totem pole to gentle parent emotionally braindead seniors.
Delete
Jesus did you work for Patrick Bateman?
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